Archive of entries posted on 18th October 2013

Obama in a Nutshell

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(Submitted by Bad Science from The Telegraph (10-3-13) [High Praise!])
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Let’s imagine that America is invaded by aliens. They vaporise Congress and melt down the Statue of Liberty. What does Obama do? He hits the campaign trail.

“It’s time for the Martians to pack their bags and leave the USA!” he tells screaming crowds at a university event in Boulder, Colorado. “I won’t negotiate, or retaliate – I’m just gonna stand here and wait until they go away!” Barbra Streisand sings the national anthem; Kal Pen tells a gag about flying a UFO while stoned. “Thank you Mr President for supporting the rights of gay people to marry,” Eva Longoria says as the intergalactic hordes of Thraaag storm over the horizon firing their ray-guns at liberal students.

“Dare to hope, America! Dare to hope!”

That’s what Obama does in the middle of any crisis. He doesn’t confront events head on like a mature leader should – particularly a mature leader in the middle of his second term with no more elections to run in. No. Obama goes out and campaigns. And he’s doing it right now.
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Aptly spoken, and although this article is two weeks old, the observation is timeless.

Wisdom of the Day: Negotiate Yawns President Glitches Seppuku Labor

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Obama Warned Us – Coming Together

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You know, it’s hard for 20 heads of state to bridge their differences. We’ve all got our own national policies; we all have our own assumptions, our own political cultures. But our citizens are all hurting. They all need us to come together.

BARACK OBAMA, press conference, Apr. 2, 2009

“…and hurt them even more until that stop all that whining! GAH! That is SO irritating!”

Federal Foobar

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So the Obamacare website sounds like the biggest foobar (that’s a programmer technical term) ever. People create complex websites every day, and yet Obama — armed with hundreds of millions of dollars — couldn’t make this happen. I’m kind of getting the impression that Obama only really cared about “winning” a battle with Republicans but never really cared much about implementing this program successfully. But I guess that goes for everything he’s done politically.

Anyway, I love laughing at this failure, but the programmer in me just wants to get at debugging it. I love debugging. But if I fixed the Obamacare website and helped keep Obamacare from it’s now inevitable delay, I’d be known as history’s greatest monster… but also really smart. I like being known as smart.

Random Thoughts: Tea Party, Establishment, and Old Man Obama

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“The antics of those Tea Party idiots are getting in the way of the absolute nothing we’re trying to accomplish.” -The Establishment

Why would I tune in to watch the president whine? I have a three-year-old.

By far, the worst president of my lifetime. And I was alive for the last 18 months of Carter.

“What I blame for the shutdown are bloggers, tweeters, hackers, Pokemon addicts, and childhood obesity.”

Quick, someone give Obama some pills for his impotency.

“And I would have gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling bloggers!” -old man Obama

The whole shutdown thing seems like getting beaten up by a terminally ill guy who would have just keeled over if we simply waited.

The Tea Party Republicans: “If you can’t do something smart, do something right.”

Hey, I’m to 14,000 followers. That’s how many you need for your life to start having meaning, right?

So is there anyone left who disputes that Obama’s skillset begins and ends with campaigning?

Obama is basically a salesman who is only good at selling that he’s a great salesman.

So the two party system right now is the Tea Party extremists versus the Progressive moron incompetents.

So we’re supposed to believe these people can handle complex things like the economy when HTML is beyond them.

As much as I love seeing the failure of the Obamacare website, the programmer in me just really wants to jump in and debug it.

And I probably could because I’m awesome.