(a guest post from PC Mike)

Due to the government shutdown you may have missed important news about climate change. Last week the IPCC released their latest study, increasing the Climate Anxiety Level from Dead Certain to 95% Probable.

Another under-reported aspect of the Global Warming Emergency is the fact that fossil fuels account for only about 5% of carbon dioxide emissions. Over 80% is actually produced by animal respiration. This means that even if we succeed in reducing industrial emissions to zero using Green Energy, the greatest source of CO2 will be untouched.

It’s time to confront the real problem. We in the anti-skeptical community have achieved phenomenal success by producing labels and organizing symbolic movements. The best known of these is certainly Earth Day, an annual event where we spend 24 hours agonizing about the environment. Close behind is Earth Hour, during which we sit together in the dark for sixty minutes.

PC Mike proposes that we now begin to fight the real source of carbon dioxide during “Earth Minute.” Next April first at 12:01 p.m. daylight time, join the rest of mankind in holding your breath for sixty seconds. Together we can reduce humyn CO2 emissions during that golden minute to near zero, and the result is certain to be just as effective as Earth Hour!

Those who are truly committed to the welfare of Gaia should follow up immediately by participating in “Earth Second.” Simply locate and remove a single light bulb anywhere in your house. Symbolically it would be better if this is an incandescent bulb, but a CFL will work just as well. Now restore power and place your tongue in the empty socket. With luck this will permanently reduce your carbon footprint to zero!

The Earth will thank you.

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Feedback time… feel free to shower PC Mike with either praise or curses in the comments.

Well, I think the shutdown is over. Been kind of busy and not following the news closely as I’m almost done with the manuscript for my next book — longer than any of my previous one and it will also be out in print this time. So kind of focusing on that right now, and after it’s done I should be able to blog more.

So kind of missed it: What was this whole shutdown thing trying to accomplish anyway?

I’m really getting tired of hearing uninformed people try and tell me that what the House of Representatives was doing by excluding funding for Obamacare in the budget they passed to the Senate is unconstitutional. Clearly, these people haven’t read the Constitution.  I realized that we really need to do something as a society to get people to actually read our founding documents again, and that was when I had an idea about how to accomplish just that.  When my seminary teacher told the class not to bother reading Song of Solomon because it was dirty, what was the first thing we all did?  We went home and read Song of Solomon, and it wasn’t nearly as titillating as advertised.  I think what we need to do to get young people to read our founding documents is to give them that same sexual mystique to pique the interest of the youth.  I’m thinking a sexy new ad campaign highlighting the steamier quotes from the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.  Something like this, read by either a sultry, throaty woman or a Bill Clinton southern drawl:

• In order to form a more perfect union
• That all men … are endowed by their Creator
• He has called together … bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant … for the sole purpose of fatiguing them
• For… repeatedly…opposing with manly firmness his invasions
• Remaining in the mean time exposed to all … convulsions within
• He has erected… swarms of officers to harrass our people (Bill Clinton’s personal favorite passage)
• For quartering large bodies
• The House of Representatives shall be composed of members
• The President shall have power to fill up all vacancies (I’m pretty sure this is the primary reason Bill got into politics)

Way more arousing then Twilight.