[High Praise! to There, I Fixed It]
Oh, my questions have been answered all right…
Archive of entries posted on 16th October 2013
Hacking Life Hacks
Mental Floss test-drives 30 life hacks to see if they actually work:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,304,174)
Some of these, I suspect he either did them wrong or just didn’t try hard enough. Also, he gets WAY too excited when some of them succeed.
Still, it’s worth a watch. Might learn something useful.
Got Ya Covered
Tennessee’s Obamacare health insurance co-op is offering a free phone to encourage folks to enroll.
So after you get stymied at the web site, you have a way to sit on hold for a few hours.
Who Does Melissa Harris-Perry Look Like?
Springeraz of Nuking Politics [High Praise!] is asking the question. I already popped over & left my answer.
Link of the Day: The Internet Arguing Checklist
[High Praise! to Monster Hunter Nation]
CAUTION: contains some frustrated swearing.
The Internet Arguing Checklist
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Unicorn Judge Burn Bullock Ghetto Brain Math Conspiracy
If unicorns aren't real, how do you explain this? *points at a cactus*
— Lazy BOO (@lazy_joe_) October 15, 2013
Remember: Only God can judge you! And judges. Juries. Your mom. Members of the opposite sex. Basically everybody. Never go outside.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) October 15, 2013
Actually, I would not watch the cities burn. Watching is so passive-aggressive.
— Michael Z Williamson (@mzmadmike) October 15, 2013
*Sandra Bullock floating around in the background of all the new Star Wars movies*
— Jar O Lantern (@tackoftheJar) October 15, 2013
For a lot of Jewish kids living in the ghetto, representing talented basketball players is their only way out.
— Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) October 15, 2013
"Think piece" sounds like what an idiot calls his brain.
— Peter Schultz (@pete_schultz) October 15, 2013
Repent, America! The Math Is Near!
— jon gabriel (@ExJon) October 15, 2013
Conspiracy theories require large groups of people (cats) to be competent (drive race cars) for long periods of time (the Indy 500)
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) October 16, 2013
Searching for Justice
A Florida orthodontist is suing the Obama administration because he spent a fortune getting ready for the Obamacare employer mandate, which got delayed.
I don’t know… seems kinda like suing the gallows-maker because the trap door stuck
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Florida Says Successful Obamacare Enrollees Are an “Urban Legend”. Other Obamacare Urban Legends…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Obama Warned Us – America’s Role
What I’ve tried to do since I started running for President and since I was sworn in as President, is to communicate the notion that America is a critical actor and leader on the world stage, and that we shouldn’t be embarrassed about that, but that we exercise our leadership best when we are listening; when we recognize that the world is a complicated place and that we are going to have to act in partnership with other countries; when we lead by example; when we show some element of humility and recognize that we may not always have the best answer, but we can always encourage the best answer and support the best answer.
BARACK OBAMA, press conference, Apr. 2, 2009
“And that best answer is ALWAYS whatever the dingiest, most backward third-world countries demand that we do for them.”
Straight Line of the Day: In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?
What to Call a 3rd Party?
Okay, I’m tired of the shutdown now. I ran out of things to say about it and now I need some new news — the next big disaster. But something new this time. Like maybe the Obama administration will put Biden in charge of building a dam with hilarious results — if Biden’s done web designing for Obamacare, that is.
Anyway, I hear talk of a third part because half the Republicans are pretty useless (while the other half don’t really seem to know what they’re doing — what are we trying to accomplish with the shutdown again?). I don’t know about a third party (though I’ve argued before that a fourth party might be a good idea). Still, if we’re going to make one, I want to help come up with a name. Here are my ideas so far:
* The Don’t Touch My Stuff Party
* The Hippie Punching Party
* The Totally Not Extreme Party
* The Anti-Treadists
* The Super Ultra Freedom Party
* The “Shut Up, Losers!” Party
* The We Have Lots of Guns So Don’t Piss Us Off Party
* The Anti-Moochers
What are your ideas for a name for a third party?
Random Thoughts: RINOs, 3rd Parties, and Siri
Daughter was sounding out 1st letter of words and saw pterosaur. Asked why some letters are silent, and I didn’t know what to tell her.
“There are bad people in the world… and apparently they chose how to spell things.”
Pitching a horror movie meant to play to conservative audiences: “Planet of the RINOs.”
So is there any verification of Cory Booker’s claim that he’s dating Morgan Fairchild?
“So where is T-Bone now?”
“Oh… uh… he was shot. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Died in my arms saying, ‘Run for Senate!'”
I’m kinda tired of this government. Who’s for just letting it collapse?
We have to begin the apocalypse to know what’s in it.
No one cared about teenagers getting on the internet when I was a teen in the mid 90s. Back then, there weren’t non-weirdos on the internet.
As I’ve said before, a third party will never work. A fourth party on the other hand…
“Shoot him, he’s the RINO!”
“No, shoot him. He’s the RINO!”
“I think I’ll just shoot myself.”
I’m usually against all the PC stuff, but come on: They’re called the “redskins.” How is that not awful?
I can star in Fifty Shades of Grey. How much does that pay?
The decisions on whether to raise the debt ceiling is about whether you want everything to collapse now or later.
In their defense, they couldn’t have been certain Obamacare would destroy itself when they started the shutdown.
You can tell who the RINOs are because they are the ones who moderated their views enough to get elected. #NeverElectedToAnything
When inevitably it’s announced that Obamacare’s individual mandate is delayed, let’s all tweet at once, “The shutdown worked!”
Have we tried applying Obamacare to other things? Like ending homelessness by fining people for not having homes? (I support that)
If you send an email to President Obama complaining that your insurance rates went up, you just get back a form letter saying, “I won.”
I’m not really for a 3rd party, but if conservatives decide to form one, I want to be on the committee to help name it.
I like the “Don’t Touch My Stuff” Party. “We will not lighten up!”
I didn’t know Siri could tweet for me
Now if I could only get Siri to tweet for me by using the phrase, “Tell the world…”
Siri tweet at Barack Obama that I don’t like him
You can use Siri to tweet on an iPhone without getting past the touch ID/passcode. Don’t steal my phone and tweet as me.
I’m Frank J. Flemming. I really support the Affordable Care Act.
Hey, has someone seen my iPhone?
“Shutdown theater” sounds like snuff films for robots.
