Straight Line of the Day: In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

62 Comments

  1. Malcolm X: HE didn’t cross that road. THE ROAD crossed HIM.

    Obama: It’s the Tea Party’s fault.

    Pelosi: He had to cross the road to find out what was on it.

    Reid: It was being held hostage by the House.

    Boehner: *sob* poor tortoise. *sob* *sob* Ok, whatever you want, Harry.

  2. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    Actually the road wasn’t there when he started crossing that patch of ground.

  3. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    There was a pile or warm, delicious Anonymiss cookies on the other side.

  4. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    He wanted to get to the “Middle of the Road” to join the Republicans. Same result.

  5. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    In California? It was probably a cross-dressing, trans-species Chicken.

  6. In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road?”

    It was trying to get away from Nancy Pelosi who had heard eating tortoise was the secret to looking youthful and living longer.

    The gargantuan tortoise was carrying 10 diminutive illegal immigrants and was ‘running’ from the Border Patrol.

    It was not trying to cross the road; after unsuccessfully trying to enroll in ObamaCare for days, it finally committed suicide.

  7. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    For Obamaphones!

    For Free Healthcare!

    So much for slow and steady wins the race

  8. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    he was being followed by some white-hispanic looking cracka.

  9. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    he got some bad advice from an Obamacare facilitator.

  10. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    They’re friggin’ stupid.

    He was tied of being the “second” avatar of Vishnu.

    in the larger scheme of things who among us have not chosen poorly at one time or another.

    the four elephants holding him up wanted to cross the road.

    because of a restraining order he had to keep 500 feet away from Harry Reid.

  11. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    The newly installed “Crawl at an incredibly slow pace” sign was flashing.

    Star of Daviding the road was too difficult.

    Ten minutes to Wapner. I’m definitely locked in this shell with no TV.

    One shouldn’t wonder where one wanders.

    Road crossing runs over in his family.

    he thought it was a Barrycade.

  12. Correction to 54

    In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    Berilia, Tubul, Great T’Phon and Jerakeen, told him to to.

  13. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    It was running away from bullies that told him he had Nancy Pelosi’s face and Harry Reid’s nose.

  14. He thought he was The Great A’Tuin and the road was actually on him.

    Some wascally wabbit told him to take a left turn at Albuquerque.

    We’re not sure, but he just handed his beer to his friend Bubba and said “Hey ya’ll watch me do this”.

    Auto-erotic-stimulation, according to the coroner, who determined that the tortoise came before the egg.

  15. In California, a “gargantuan” tortoise was fatally struck after wandering onto I-10. Why did the tortoise try to cross the road?

    Well I certainly don’t think that getting fatally struck was part of his rationale.

  16. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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