WWII Vets Liberate WWII Memorial!

[High Praise! to Derek of Awesometific American]

Washington Post headline: “Visiting veterans storm closed war memorials”

Derek says:

With the government shut down we can no longer defend our national monuments from 80 and 90 year old World War 2 veterans. If Obama cannot stop them how can he stand up to Iran?

Apparently I Am an Albanian Woman

SNL parodies HBO’s “Girls”:


[Hulu direct link]

Yeah, this is pretty much my reaction any time an iGeneration liberal starts whining about how hard it is to live in a first-world country.

Also – HoloChess-Playing R2 Units

Caught on an open mic, President Obama was overheard joking, “I’m scared of my wife”.

Yeah, you and every kid that eats school lunches.

That Explains a Lot

(Submitted by Laurie via Free Republic [High Praise!])

“Carney forgot to tell the press…but I was recently diagnosed with ‘transient global amnesia’ but only on the subjects of Benghazi, Obamacare, and my golf score.

I’m having an episode now – relapsing back to my days as a tuba player in my high school marching band.”

Link of the Day: Right Wing Obamacare Myths DEBUNKED

[High Praise! to The Matt Walsh Blog]

Right Wing Obamacare Myths DEBUNKED

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

It’s Fore Our Own Good

Defending Obama’s recreational choices, former President George W. Bush said “I think it’s good for the President to be out playing golf”.

Well, it does do less damage than when he’s doing his day job.

You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Obamacare expert “Navigators” had to be told “don’t leave tax returns on fax machines”. They also needed to be told…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Obama Warned Us – Work

Any strategy to reduce intergenerational poverty has to be centered on work, not welfare–not only because work provides independence and income but also because work provides order, structure, dignity, and opportunities for growth in people’s lives.

BARACK OBAMA, The Audacity of Hope

“Which is why I’m opposed to it.”

Straight Line of the Day: YouTube Plans to Launch an Awards Show, Which Will Feature…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

YouTube plans to launch an awards show, which will feature…

A warning from China

ChineseHornetYou are aware that the U.S. owes China a lot of money, right? Well, we do. Not millions. Not billions. You know what comes next, right? Yeah, we owe China a buttload of money.

And, we better pay. Or they’ll send the Giant Chinese Hornets.

You haven’t heard about them?

Vespa mandarinia, it’s called. And that’s Latin or something meaning “big-ass Chinese hornet.” And, they’ve killed 42 people and attacked nearly 1,700 others … and that’s just since July.

Didn’t know China had those, did you? That’s why I don’t trust the CHICOMs. They’re growing giant hornets and loosing them on an unsuspecting populace. But, now that we know, we can be on the lookout.

It’s important because, with Shutdown, that means Government isn’t spending any more money. Well, it is sending Park Police to close parks that don’t receive federal funding, and to keep World War II veterans from visiting the World War II Memorial, which is to be expected from the arrogant asses running things in Washington. But, apart from that normal government stupidity, there’s not a lot more money being spent. Which means we aren’t building up a lot more Chinese debt.

That’s a good thing, because if we owe China enough money, and they get fed up with us always asking for more money, they might release the Giant Chinese Hornets on us.

If you find yourself being attacked by a Giant Hornet, keep calm and ask it a question. Be sure to speak English. If it doesn’t understand you, that means it’s probably Chinese. Then, you need to run.

It’s For Your Health!

Burger King launched a new french fry that has 20% fewer calories than its regular fries.

Seeing an even bigger reduction: the hours of the people cooking them because of Obamacare.