72 Comments

  1. …even more FU money that will be showered on the Duck Dynasty guys.

    …a partridge in a pear tree to test out that new shotgun.

    …re-gifted more than a walnut cookie sampler, Tony Romo as your opposing teams starting QB.

  2. The most popular gift this Christmas…

    …subscriptions to bacon of the month. The gift that keeps giving all year.

    …2014 Acura RLX (well is it on the top of my list)

    …2014 Calendars

    …bacon, did I mention bacon?

  3. … Are ball-gags for the people who spend the holidays pushing Obamacare (Although mostly among the givers).

    … Earplugs, for everyone who lives with someone who pushes Obamacare over the holidays.

    … Footsie Pajamas!

    … A gift certificate for the guy who will change the locks after you leave your 30-something son’s suitcases on the porch.

  4. ….obviously the twelve days of ObamaCare


    On the twelfth day of Christmas, Obama Care gave to me
    12 Congressional inquiries
    11 th hour apologies
    10 claims denied
    9 navigators scamming
    8 condom boxes
    7 forms to fill out
    6 hours ER waiting
    5 Death Panels
    4 web site crashes
    3 different quotes
    2 doctors fleeing
    …and they cleaned out my bank account for free.

  5. The most popular gift this Christmas…

    …in spite of all the stupid “Happy Holidays” crap and GayRage, a return to our beginnings: Unto us a Child is born.

    …tins full of cookies that say “Kissed by AnonyMiss Love – but only if you think John Boehner is a big patootyhead” [That’s quite a bit of wordage on a cookie, but hey, the gal is talented]

  6. The most popular gift this Christmas…

    …a blowup doll for Obama that doesn’t look like a Wookie.

    …ObamaCare waivers – in 50-packs.

    …soft mittens for those still trying to sign up for Obamacare, to minimize damage from all the face-palms.

    …Impeachment Papers for O, handcuffs for most of his cabinet, and a rubber room for his vice president.

  7. …the Obama You Didn’t Build That Lego set, but you better re-gift it quickly because you can’t keep it.

    …the ACLU eX-Mas app, reminds you when you are offended by the religion on display, comes with six pack of pre-bunched underwear for those to lazy to be outraged in person.

  8. The most popular gift this Christmas is sitting around the dinner table laughing at the Democrats’ attempt at health care law making, Web site building and social media marketing featuring a freakish over-privileged hipster man-child wearing drop-bottom footie pajamas.

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