*courtroom goes silent as the judge slams gavel repeatedly* oh, carry on guys. just putting this desk together.
— chuuch (@ch000ch) January 30, 2014
Great news! Discovery Channel picked up my series, where I fly around the world blowing bong hits into dangerous animal's faces.
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) January 30, 2014
Ladies call me decaf because nobody wants me but they'll take me if there's nothing else. Also there's no real purpose for my existence.
— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) January 30, 2014
No one loves animals more than me. If I see a cat cough up a hairball, I make sure to put it back in
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) January 30, 2014
why am i the only one who remembers the mentos ad where they burn the cross on the lawn and then they show the mentos and everything's okay
— john freiler (@johnfreiler) January 31, 2014
One more question, Mr. President. If Mario was invincible and he petted a dog, would it kill the dog?
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) January 31, 2014
Bill Ayers. Nothing sadder than a revolutionary on a pension. You never saw Emiliano Zapata at a CVS counter arguing about an EDD co-pay.
— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) January 31, 2014
Bill Ayers has merely discovered that which many revolutionaries long ago discovered. Namely that this is the safest country for a revolutionary in the world. You can be a revolutionary in this country without ever picking up a gun or actually doing anything to endanger yourself or put your butt on the line. If you play your cards right you can make a fortune selling your books on the evils of capitalism which is much safer and more profitable then actually trying to overthrow the government. Putting your life on the line is for losers like Che Guevara. Sure he got his face on a lot more tee-shirts than Bill but he didn’t collect a nickel in royalties. Better to nail down a professorship and spread your poison to a whole new generation while eventually working yourself into a nice fat retirement then to die like a pig in South America. America’s the greatest country in the world to be a revolutionary.
~~~~ Bacon worthy comment from zzyzx to Miller’s great line. Enslavement of the masses to amass power and loot the wealth they create only seems less “gauche” than enslaving a few for their labor to liberal elitists.