Liam Neeson wants to join Twitter. *types username LiamNeeson* "Sorry that username is Taken." *calls Twitter* I have a particular set of sk
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 31, 2014
Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) January 31, 2014
So far my favorite villain in the Superman/Batman movie is the casting director.
— Steve Amiri (@SteveAmiri) January 31, 2014
Opposite Ben Affleck, Jeremy Irons will be the 1st Alfred that's more intimidating than Batman.
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) January 31, 2014
Jesse Eisenberg will be playing the new Lex Luthor and Superman ends up defeating him by putting him in a room with a cute girl
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) January 31, 2014
I play the saxophone slow and sensually for you. Sensually because that's the only way I play it. Slow because I'm just learning.
— Brent (@murrman5) January 31, 2014
Wanna feel old? *hands you an antique vase*
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 1, 2014
Never heard of a "tripping" penalty before. Guess that's what happens when you legalize marijuana.
— James Taranto (@jamestaranto) February 3, 2014
Judging from the amount of flags in an average football game, the hardest part about the sport has to be remembering how to play it.
— John Cheese (@johncheese) February 3, 2014
The Denver Broncos have only scored eight more points than Bruno Mars
— Paul Geraghty (@fuimfunny) February 3, 2014
If its in London will they still call it 24 or will they be using the metric system?
— mitrebox (@mitrebox) February 3, 2014