If we're going to stop labeling little girls "bossy", can we stop labeling little boys with finger guns "psychotic latent mass murderers"?
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 11, 2014
Sen. Dianne Feinstein accused the CIA of spying on Senate computers. It's nice knowing they're spying on a few actual criminals.
— CC:Indecision (@indecision) March 11, 2014
GRANDPA, TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR PROTEST DAYS IN THE 60s THAT ULTIMATELY DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) March 11, 2014
I am "anti-climate." It's why I live in a house.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) March 11, 2014
Missed connection: You witnessed my crime. Let's meet!
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) March 11, 2014
"ooh is that fred armisen? oh, no, it's not." – something probably being said a lot at #sxsw
— Andy Levy (@andylevy) March 11, 2014
any restaurant can have a drive-thru if you aren't scared of cops
— Ace… Ace? (@AceMakesWords) March 11, 2014
To: Car companies
From: Michael
Re: "German engineering"
Stop using this term. It still terrifies many people.
XOXO,
Michael
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) March 12, 2014

Sen. Dianne Feinstein: Holy underwear! The CIA spying on Senate computers! Innocent Senators and staffers spied upon! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, fellow Senators! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph! (Unlike Benghazi, the IRS, or Fast and Furious, you can bet this one will be thoroughly investigated. No stone will be left unturned in the quest for justice.)
GRANDPA, TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR PROTEST DAYS IN THE 60s THAT ULTIMATELY DIDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. Okay that’s easy grandson, they were just as useless as Occupy Wall Street was…only we didn’t rape anyone.