[High Praise! to Very Demotivational]
Whereas capitalism turns around, then comes back a few days later with a hang glider.
Archive of entries posted on 6th March 2014
I Had Obama Pegged As a Soccer Hooligan on Day One
[Should you trust your first impression? – Peter Mende-Siedlecki] (Viewer #154,515)
My title is an exaggeration, but not really.
My first impression of Obama was from his 2004 Democratic Convention speech. Apparently, his delivery was amazing, but I didn’t watch it, I just read it, so I wasn’t distracted by his flourishes.
When I came to this line, I knew Obama was a vile, malicious piece of work:
“it is that fundamental belief — I am my brother’s keeper, I am my sisters’ keeper — that makes this country work.”
No… what makes this country work is the fundamental belief that we are not kept at all.
We are a nation of free men who live under a government of laws whose limited authority exists only by their consent.
And I know enough history to know the carnage wrought by those who worship the keeping of men.
I Am Not a Crackpot!
Climate scientists are now claiming that volcanic eruptions are to blame for the “pause” in global warming.
So… it’s an evil plot by a Bond villain?
Taxes – Explained-ish
Link of the Day: Tea Party Turns 5
[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Commenter Pensions Busy Russian Party Satin SAT Salon Checks Obamacare
Read a web commenter who informed the author “I stopped reading after the second subject-verb error.” Is he available for parties?
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 5, 2014
Maybe we shouldn't pay pensions to govt retirees who plea the 5th when questioned about their job activities.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 5, 2014
Just overheard a girl on her phone say "I can't. I'm crazy busy today." Our eyes met and she knew that I knew she isn't crazy busy today.
— Ted Alexandro (@tedalexandro) March 5, 2014
He died doing what he loved, flicking the ears of Russian mobsters and asking if he was pronouncing their names correctly.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) March 5, 2014
Aint no party like a west coast party because any other party wouldnt be on the west coast so geographically speaking this statement is true
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) March 5, 2014
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose & eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
Boobs
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) March 5, 2014
Replace the SAT with the Kobayashi Maru!
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) March 5, 2014
Salon is like a conservative fantasy of an idiotic left-wing site
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) March 5, 2014
Scariest thing about the latest 0bama polls is that 39% of the people out there think he's doing a good job. Of what? Writing them checks?
— Neal Boortz (@Talkmaster) March 5, 2014
Is Obama's strategy to make the Republicans seem ineffectual by doing a far better job at stopping Obamacare than they can?
— Popehat (@Popehat) March 6, 2014
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “New York’s Mayor de Blasio is pushing the NYPD to be more polite. Other NYPD “improvements”…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
There’s Precedent
After Piers Morgan’s prime-time talk show on CNN was cancelled, he admitted that the audience in the United States was getting “tired” of him.
Nah. If we were REALLY tired of being harangued by a Brit, we’d have chucked him into Boston Harbor.
Obama Warned Us – Founding Principle
America has never been about what can be done for us. It’s about what can be done by us, together, through the hard and frustrating but necessary work of self-government. That’s the principle we were founded on.
BARACK OBAMA, speech, Nov. 7, 2012
“I intend to fix that mistake.”
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Has a New Plan to Deal With Russia…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama has a new plan to deal with Russia…
Ellen
Then world has turned upside down. I’m having to take sides with Ellen Degeneres.
I remember when she was an up and coming comedian (comedienne?), and thought she was okay. She was no Jeff Dunham, but she was alright. But I never thought she was more than alright.
When she got her own TV show back in the ’90s, I checked it out, but didn’t stay with it. It was a sitcom called “These Friends of Mine” and her character worked at a book store. I think she later bought it and they re-titled the show “Ellen” but I had stopped watching it by then; it wasn’t that good of a show.
And, that’s the show where she came out. Apparently, viewers of the show were the last people on Earth to know she was a homosexual. I mean, it really was kinda obvious, right? So, why it was a big deal at the time, I still don’t understand.
Anyway, she’s now the poster boy (so to speak) for lesbians or gays or something. And, she’s the 2010s version of Billy Crystal or Johnny Carson, in that she’s the go-to guy (so to speak) for the Academy Awards.
From what I can tell, it seems the Academy Awards had a TV special recently where they gave out this year’s Oscars. It wasn’t on Hulu Plus or Amazon Prime, so I didn’t see it. But, I read about it. And, I read that a bunch of people were getting their panties in a wad over some joke Ellen told.
Now, as I said, she’s a comedian of moderate talent, and some jokes work, and some jokes don’t. Here’s the one that people didn’t like the most.
“Hello to the best Liza Minnelli impersonator I’ve ever seen,” she said — to Minnelli herself. “Good job, sir.”
Now, that’s funny. There are a lot of Liza Minnelli impersonators out there. More than there are Judy Garland impersonators (go figure). Or Elvis. And, most of them are men.
But some people are getting all hot and bothered by it, calling Ellen transphobic (whatever the heck that is) and mean (what?). (Tip: Chicks on the Right)
For Pete’s sake, it was a joke. Not a great joke, but a good one. But I am angry about it.
I’m having to defend Ellen Degeneres. That’s how nuts the Politically Correct crowd is. In case you didn’t already know.
Random Thoughts: Billionaire, Robocalls, and SATs
If he defended a cop killer, think of how well he’d defend you who probably haven’t killed a cop.
Writing is a lossy compression which allows you to transfer your ideas to others.
The most money I’d ever want is $999,999,999 because people really start to resent you when you’re a billionaire.
I’d kinda like an island, though. Where I can hunt man.
Apparently information isn’t destroyed in a black hole and will eventually be released. Still, I’d backup on DropBox.
Robocalls would be awesome if they were actually robots calling you… unless it was a Roomba because then it would just be vacuum noises.
*phone rings*
“Hello?”
“Kill all humans!”
“Gah! Not another robocall!”
My SAT score was really important for a much smaller amount of time than I imagined.
I took the SATs back before they added the essay question since women can’t do math.
I won’t tell you my SAT score, but just guess what it would be. Nope, higher than that. Nope higher. Okay, too high; go down a little. Boom.
The key to a good SAT was taking those Princeton practice tests over and over. Don’t know if that changed.
Never quite understood what the ACT is. Luckily that wasn’t an SAT question.
We could making harder for a woman to become president by adding a math section to presidential debates.
With all these delays and website failures, is it even disputable that Obamacare was made by idiots who had no idea what they were doing?
I will proudly tell my grandchildren I was against the first black president being a useless nitwit.
Couldn’t Pay Them Enough
The FCC proposed an initiative to put agents into newsrooms across the country to check for “perceived station bias”.
Apparently they don’t want to have to sit down and actually watch MSNBC, either.