37 Comments

  1. Under Obama’s new immigration plan, you can only get deported…

    …if you refuse government handouts.

    …if you are not bringing any diseases on your person.

    …if you have gone through the proper, legal channels for citizenship.

    …if you believe that the 2nd Amendment allows for personal firearm ownership.

  2. …if you have a paper trail tying you to Fast and Furious.

    …if you are related to a Cruz, a Rubio or a Martinez…

    …if you are in any way actually documented…

    …when you intend to abandon allegiance to your country of origin.

  3. COME ON PEOPLE!!!
    Under Obama’s New Immigration Plan, You Can Only Get Deported if you’re a Global Warming™ Climate Change® DENIER!!!

    Don’t you get it, Global Warming™ Climate Change® is the biggest problem in the world today and WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!11!1!!!

  4. From the Article: “In effect, the Obama administration has shifted from a more generalized model of enforcement to a model focused almost exclusively on illegal border crossers, obstructionists and criminals,” the MPI said.

    the word “obstructionists” would include John Boehner and over 50% of the House of Representatives.

  5. …if you’re conservative.

    …if you don’t show enough enthusiasm at the daily two minute hate session.

    …trick question, when he gets finished there won’t be any borders to be deported over.

    …if you insist that store-bought cookies are just as good!

    …if you point out that the emperor is nekkid.

  6. …if you’re bleeding and foaming at the mouth, swinging a machete, shouting “Allahu Akbar” and “Death to America!” What? Oh, sorry, I misread the question. That’s how to gain amnesty and consideration for a position as a government czar.

  7. …to make room for a certain first ladie’s expanding backside.

    …if your ebola strain insists on spreading to a blue state.

    …if your English becomes better than Obama’s Spanish.

    …if your productivity exceeds your mooch allotment.

    …when your burrito upstages the crap that Teleprompter in Chief is churning out.

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