[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]
Archive of entries posted on 3rd October 2014
Only One Place
In responding to a question from the chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, IRS Commissioner John Koskinen said he and his department follow the law “wherever we can.”
Mostly between the 4th & 6th Amendments.
The Reward
Link of the Day: Obama’s Only Strategy…w/ Helpful Guide For Libs
[High Praise! to Springeraz of Nuking Politics]
Obama’s Only Strategy…w/ Helpful Guide For Libs
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Remote Napkin Pizza Shoes Frankenstein Peabody Police Ebola
[blind date]
OK don't let her know you're a remote control
"Your eyes are beau-
*sinks into seat crevice, lost for weeks*
DAMMIT NOT AGAIN
— Thoughtter (@ThoughtOtter) September 29, 2014
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) September 29, 2014
Technically any amount of pizza is a piece of pizza
— Muski Lozenj (@LostCatDog) September 29, 2014
Your shoes? I’m not even interested in walking a mile in my own shoes.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) September 29, 2014
No no no. The frankenstein monster is a scientist. The frankenstein monster monster is the monster. Read a book.
— dead jonnifer (@senderblock23) September 30, 2014
theory: Mr. Peabody is actually a future dog-shaped regeneration of Doctor Who
— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 30, 2014
Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) October 1, 2014
The best part of having Ebola is all the ice cream they let you eat in quarantine.
— Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) October 2, 2014
This Might Be the Answer
Discovery Channel is stranding a Republican and a Democrat US senator on a deserted island and filming what happens.
Um… is there any way we can get these guys some more islands?
Obama Warned Us – A Chance
“All the middle class in this country wants is a chance. No guarantee, just a chance.” —@VP Joe Biden http://ofa.bo/t0p4
“That’s asking WAY too much of this administration.”
Straight Line of the Day: A New Report Exposes 1000 Embarrassing Security Lapses by the Secret Service, Including…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new report exposes 1000 embarrassing security lapses by the Secret Service, including…
Random Thoughts: California and Ebola
Sex in California now requires a notary public.
That’s progressivism. Starts with “Everyone should have sex all the time!” and eventually ends up with greater restrictions than Puritans.
The only time progressives have a problem with government restrictions on your personal life is when it’s done by other people than them.
Conservatives should be happy about California; they’re just one step away from requiring a marriage license to have sex.
“Now we need to pause this sex a moment for station identification.”
When near crowds of people, make sure to keep your mouth closed so no one vomits blood into it. #EbolaTips
It is not known whether getting your legs snagged by bolas can give you Ebola, so avoid getting pursued by ninjas. #EbolaTips
One of the main symptoms of Ebola to look for is sudden worry about diseases you read about online. #EbolaTips
Listen to me. I’m a doctor, for all you know.
The more knowledgable you are about Ebola, the more likely it will target you. It’s trying to eliminate threats. Remain ignorant. #EbolaTips
Role Model
After stealing $600 worth of merchandise from Walmart, a Michigan woman tried to make her getaway on one of the store’s motorized wheelchairs.
And STILL showed more planning and foresight than Obama’s entire foreign policy team.