Sex in California now requires a notary public.
That’s progressivism. Starts with “Everyone should have sex all the time!” and eventually ends up with greater restrictions than Puritans.
The only time progressives have a problem with government restrictions on your personal life is when it’s done by other people than them.
Conservatives should be happy about California; they’re just one step away from requiring a marriage license to have sex.
“Now we need to pause this sex a moment for station identification.”
When near crowds of people, make sure to keep your mouth closed so no one vomits blood into it. #EbolaTips
It is not known whether getting your legs snagged by bolas can give you Ebola, so avoid getting pursued by ninjas. #EbolaTips
One of the main symptoms of Ebola to look for is sudden worry about diseases you read about online. #EbolaTips
Listen to me. I’m a doctor, for all you know.
The more knowledgable you are about Ebola, the more likely it will target you. It’s trying to eliminate threats. Remain ignorant. #EbolaTips
I thought the notary thing was just for college students. Of course, they could change to the (official) military way; if she’s drunk, it’s rape, and it’s a capital crime.
Beware of Gauchos carrying bolas. Ninjas, not so much.
@2 Glenn555 – Pregnant Mexican ninjas, maybe:
http://www.mexicanbola.co.za/
Conservatives should be happy about California; they’re just one step away from requiring a marriage license to have sex.
A marriage license plus a consent form, signed by both parties, both of whom have passed a breathalyzer test; the form must, of course, be notarized.
Hey, at least it’s not the University of Michigan where they have developed these wonderful standards to define Sexual Violence.
“Examples of sexual violence include: discounting the partner’s feelings regarding sex; criticizing the partner sexually; touching the partner sexually in inappropriate and uncomfortable ways; withholding sex and affection; always demanding sex; forcing partner to strip as a form of humiliation (maybe in front of children), to witness sexual acts, to participate in uncomfortable sex or sex after an episode of violence, to have sex with other people; and using objects and/or weapons to hurt during sex or threats to back up demands for sex.”
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And it looks like adultery is still a sin.
@walruskkkch
“Examples of sexual violence include: discounting the partner’s feelings regarding sex; criticizing the partner sexually; … always demanding sex; ”
Peg Bundy better get a lawyer!
“The more knowledgable you are about Ebola, the more likely it will target you. It’s trying to eliminate threats. Remain ignorant.”
Reminds me of something from a Terry Pratchett book about missionaries (which have also been mentioned regarding the ebola outbreak) in his disk world books. People get the afterlife they think they deserve. So the only people who go to hell are the ones who think they deserve it. People who’ve never heard of hell don’t go there. That’s why it is essential to kill missionaries on sight.
@5 walruskkkch: Wow, that is near Orwellian in its double-speakness.
@5:
I like that filigree they threw in one: “(maybe in front of children)” (!!)
It’s fun to put that after all the other ones, too.
Heck, I’m going to add it to all my arguments, as a clincher.
They left out “To force partner to rob a bank after having sex”
and
“To club partner to death with a baseball bat after sex.”
Check your privilege, white male oppressor. Marital rape is a crime.
https://www.rainn.org/public-policy/sexual-assault-issues/marital-rape
… maybe in front of children.
Continuing in this vain, you wonder why feminist heads don’t explode.
“Strange as it may seem, sex, like kissing, is not a natural act. In other words, sexuality is not something that can be understood in purely biological terms. Instead, it is a social construct.”
– Mary Crawford and Rhoda Unger, Women and Gender: A Feminist Psychology, Fourth Edition (2004)
And this my friends is what gets indoctrinated into America’s precious snowflakes when they attend college.
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