[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
Archive of entries posted on 20th October 2014
All Rights Are Paid For In Blood And/Or Treasure
Maryland’s Democrat Governor Martin O’Malley said that “WiFi is a human right”.
Absolutely. As long as you pay the bills your provider sends.
Clipboard Guy Is Safe
Link of the Day: Satire – REPORT: US Failure To Confront ISIS Could Lead To Jews Pulling Off Another 9/11
[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]
REPORT: US Failure To Confront ISIS Could Lead To Jews Pulling Off Another 9/11
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Anger Ebola NASA Skeleton
What didn't kill me gave me anger.
— Good Noodles (@Jenny4ashley) October 17, 2014
The only thing that can stop Ebola is a black and white video of celebrities looking at the camera and solemnly saying "Stop Ebola".
— Mark Leggett (@markleggett) October 17, 2014
[getting fired from NASA]
Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) October 18, 2014
Why waste money on a Halloween costume when there's a perfectly good skeleton inside of you?
— UNTRESOR (@UNTRESOR) October 18, 2014
Ambiguous Terminology
White House adviser Dan Pfeiffer told people not to worry about Ebola entering the country, because “the President’s focused on this every day.”
Wait… veterans-memorial-focused or Mexican-border-focused?
Obama Warned Us – Real World Obamacare
President Obama: While affordable health care might still be a threat to freedom on Fox News, it’s working pretty well in the real world.
“It’s true! Just ask ratings giant MSNBC!”
So… is anyone on Twitter using #RealWorldObamacare yet? As in “Got dropped by my insurance and no one’s taking new Medicare signups. Thanks Obama! #RealWorldObamacare” or “My ‘full-time’ job just cut me back to 29 hours a week. You know why. #RealWorldObamacare”
Straight Line of the Day: Under Obama’s New Immigration Plan, You Can Only Get Deported…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Under Obama’s new immigration plan, you can only get deported…
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Now on the White House’s List of Things That Reporters Aren’t Allowed to Mention…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
Random Thoughts: Ebola Czar
I feel much better about Ebola now that we have a partisan crony in charge of things.
“Ebola is not dangerous. To prove it, I will drink this big mug of Ebola.” -Obama’s Ebola czar
No travel ban when people in Britain got mad cow disease, but the government did issue a warning not to eat the brains of English people.
The average human uses only 10% of his pancreas. Think of what could happen if he used 100%.
“Siri, what’s Ebola?” -Obama’s Ebloa czar
“Instead of focusing on the negative, let’s focus on the millions.. maybe thousands now… who don’t have Ebola.” -Ebola czar, year from now
Oh, the Ebola czar is good at management? And Obama has shown such an ability to recognize people who are good at management.
It’s not giving me confidence how the new Ebola czar jumps up on a chair and start shrieking anytime anyone near him sneezes.
Listen to scientists? You mean those losers who can’t figure out where 85% of the matter in the universe is?
At some point most of the misanthropes went from the racist side to the “pro-tolerance” side.
“I’m pro-science except when science goes against my politics.” -the left, everyone else
Want to feel old? The girl who played Rudy on The Cosby Show died of old age ten years ago.
“Beige… it’s the color of the future!” -a lot of convincing salesmen in the 70s, apparently
A Detroit Deal
One Detroit homeowner is offering to swap a two-story brick colonial on Detroit’s east side for a new iPhone 6.
It’s a good trade for the iPhone owner… as long as he doesn’t have to take the rest of city, too.