[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
Archive of entries posted on 24th October 2014
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When asked to name one of Joe Biden’s accomplishments, one attendee at a political rally featuring Biden answered “he’s got a great grin”.
So does a jack-o’-lantern.
Perfect Name
Something Anonymiss said [High Praise! and sandwich bacon to her] made me want to try out the phrase & see if it’ll stick.
For comparison, here’s what Michelle’s kids are eating at their fancy private school:
[reference link (some NSFW language)]
Link of the Day: Actually, Not A Scary Thought After All
[High Praise! to Tree Lobsters!]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Ultron Father Feminist Avengers Clues Murderer Cat Win Tombstone Isolating
I am looking forward to seeing Ultron sing "Let it Go".
— John Hodgman (@hodgman) October 23, 2014
Being a father is definitely the most important thing I will fail at in my life.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 23, 2014
CNN: Wait till you see this hilarious video of a woman getting beaten up!
FEMINIST: That is the disgu…
CNN: It's a Palin!
FEMINIST: GREAT!
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) October 23, 2014
Writing an Avengers film must be 1% finding a story you like and 99% trying to make Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow seem necessary.
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) October 23, 2014
Not to brag, but most of the problems it takes the Blues Clues an entire episode to solve, I can figure out in like 20 minutes.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) October 23, 2014
me:can I get a ride to the mall
murderer:sure
[later]
me:this isnt the mall
murderer:oh I thought u said a ride to the woods to get murdered
— slick (@fanofhell) October 23, 2014
Ways I'm Like a Cat:
1)Silent
2)Independent
3)Chases mice
4)Lick myself clean
5)Always stuck in trees
6)Speaks French
7)Screams at children
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) October 23, 2014
I don’t want to “win” the Internet, I want to defeat it.
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) October 23, 2014
I want my tombstone to be a mirror with the words "YOU'RE NEXT" scrawled across it
— Rich Lowtax Kyanka (@lowtax) October 23, 2014
I’m self-isolating at Red Lobster in Times Square.
— Brian Sack (@brian_sack) October 24, 2014
Useful Idiot
Asked to list successes in President Obama’s Iraq policy during a presser, the State Department’s Jen Psaki was unable to name one.
Probably had to bite her tongue to keep from saying “kept you from talking about Benghazi”.
Obama Warned Us – Poised to Lead
“America is better poised to lead and succeed in the 21st century than any other nation on Earth.” —President Obama #AmericaLeads
“Don’t worry, though. I’ll fix that.”
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Hillary Clinton Raked in a Record $2.1 Million in One Fundraiser. How Did She Do It?”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
Straight Line of the Day: Instead of an Appearance by Obama, What Would Most Democrats Prefer at Their Campaign Rallies?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Instead of an appearance by Obama, what would most Democrats prefer at their campaign rallies?
Random Thoughts: Feminism, Avengers, and Ebola
Just a reminder: The left only care about women, racism, or anything else in so much as it helps their partisan politics.
All their feminism will get immediately chucked out the window if they have a chance to humiliate a conservative woman.
About half my thoughts today are of that Avengers trailer. And about all my thoughts are in that James Spader voice.
When they say they can no longer detect the Ebola virus in someone, how do we know it hasn’t evolved a stealth mode?
Okay, I’m finally going to have to ask: What’s google?
Is a GamerGate used to keep out gamers or to keep out other people who might pester you while you’re gaming?
I wish people of all races and ethnicities could have white privilege.
Giuliani knew that when you crack down on small crimes, like broken windows, you keep Ebola from getting in the city.
Today is the last day of my engineering job. Bittersweet. I’m going to pray for something to break so I can debug it.
Wow, lots of stuff going on in NYC. Never have anything that interesting happening in Boise.
The most important things about Ebola is not to panic. Like if you think you might have Ebola, that’s no reason to cancel bowling plans.
I shouldn’t make fun of the doctor. Bravery-wise I don’t stand up very well against a guy who went to Africa to treat Ebola patients.
Are we sure there is a CDC? Like someone called their number and made sure someone answered?
We really need to work on our not panicking. We need to get that down soon or we’re all going to die.
It’s Still an Honor
Officials in Hawaii have dropped plans to rename a popular beach for President Obama.
Instead, they’re going to name an extinct volcano “Obama’s Economy”.