[High Praise! to After Math]

Asked if the US is at war with ISIS, Nancy Pelosi said “we have initiated hostilities for sure”.
So… if I understand this correctly, we’re not at “war”, but we’re this close to unfriending them on Facebook?
[High Praise! to 4of7 of Little Worlds]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
*goes to jail*
"Here is your cell phone. You get one call"
*uses it to tweet 'in jail lol'*
— luke (@internetluke) October 5, 2014
*stares wistfully at picture of a dog on friend's mantel*
<sigh> "I used to have a picture of a dog."
— T-O-M (@TomItUp) October 5, 2014
Cop: License and registration please, ma'am.
Me: Have I aged a lot since this photo was taken?
Cop: Watch your speed, miss. Have a nice day.
— Vodka n Tots (@Vodkantots) October 6, 2014
Back off, I have homemade pepper spray. If you don't leave, I'll have to ask you to put your face in this bowl
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) October 6, 2014
One day John Oliver really is going to "literally eviscerate" someone and no one will know cause we all thought it was clickbait.
— Alan ''Noble'' (@TheAlanNoble) October 6, 2014
DOCTOR: you should have checked your breasts for lumps
FERGIE: lovely lady lumps?
DOCTOR: you are going to die
— Fashion josh (@verycozy) October 6, 2014
"We need to videotape this": How creepy men are abusing affirmative consent
— Salon (@Salondotcom) October 7, 2014
President Obama said that if he’d been “an adviser to ISIS” he would not have beheaded hostages but rather release them after pinning warning notes on their chests that said “Stay out of here; this is none of your business”.
And thinking like that is exactly why ISIS felt safe beheading them.
You should reject cynicism: http://ofa.bo/g0pY
“Also – more irony – my fat wife says ‘stop eating so much’.”
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Now being unleashed by the US in the war against ISIS…
More often than not now the language of tolerance is used for the purpose of exclusion.
Twin Peaks is returning. Maybe I should finally finish that 2nd season. Show sure went from awesome to meh quick.
Did the Native Americans try explaining to the European settlers that they’re in the wrong side of history?
It’s sad when you’re finally too old for Play-Doh and have to move on to Work-Doh.
Scientists report that they’ve successfully transplanted human brain tissue into mice.
The mice are now smart enough not to react to danger by firing a shotgun into the air.