Straight Line of the Day: Uh-Oh… A New Report Shows That Electric Cars… Posted by Harvey on 17 December 2014, 12:00 pm Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments. Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
… also run on dreams, pixie dust, and unicorn farts. … sterilize liberals who drive them. … transform into union-approved voting machines (preloaded with votes, of course). Reply to this comment
…are actually propelled by hamsters on steroids. …make liberal owners even more smug. …generate atmosphere-destroying OZONE! Reply to this comment
Are found in the passing lane (holding everyone back). I guess you’d passive aggressive driving. Reply to this comment
Correction: Are found in the passing lane (holding everyone back). I’d guess you’d say that was passing aggressive driving. Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… work better on golf courses than highways. Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… exploit electrons in a manner not seen since the days of slavery. Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… have replaced fancy high end cars for male “Compensation”. Reply to this comment
…are guaranteed against battery fires for 20,000 miles or 90 days, whichever comes first. Reply to this comment
… got crossed with an AllState insurance “Mayhem” commercial and produced the Electric Mayhem. Reply to this comment
…are not true Ottomobiles. (Come on, you thermodynamicists!) …seem to drive better when recharged by coal-fired power plants. …have high torque which is only matched by their high cost and their high degree of no user-serviceable parts inside. Reply to this comment
…derive ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources…. Oh wait, that would be Eclectic Cars Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… can only rock down to, Electric Avenue… Reply to this comment
…threaten to exhaust our coal deposits by 10 or maybe even 20 minutes. …only get asked to get something off the top shelf at Target when they are painted white. …have an uncontrollable urge to kill the little girl by the river after being charged up. Reply to this comment
Uh-Oh… A New Report Shows That Electric Cars are as sh!tty as we thought they were to begin with. Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… … still can’t outrun my four year old’s tricycle … can almost get to 2nd gear, when going downhill with the roof windmill accessory … are now given away free with every Timeshare purchase Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… …should come with a free charger. Plymouth says their Charger is a better car anyway. Reply to this comment
…are great for mass executions. More efficient than a single electric chair. …have terrible traction. They are prone to do the electric slide. Reply to this comment
… will have positive and negative effects on: the racing circuit, Vin D-cell’s career, and AAA assistance. Reply to this comment
Have an enhanced range if you purchase the “giant wind up key” option for only $40,000. Reply to this comment
…@ can of spam, yeah, but the humbucking pickups are popular with the likes of Oppo and rodney. Reply to this comment
….since electric cars have been around for 130 years, they are the best thing before sliced bread. Reply to this comment
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars… …require 1.21 Jiggawats to operate …will fill landfills with batteries that will leak battery acid that will get into the water supply. …only have an operating range to get from Cracker Barrel to Cracker Barrel. Reply to this comment
… also run on dreams, pixie dust, and unicorn farts.
… sterilize liberals who drive them.
… transform into union-approved voting machines (preloaded with votes, of course).
… Dream of Electric Gas.
… were introduced to the Newport Jazz Festival by Bob Dylan.
…are actually propelled by hamsters on steroids.
…make liberal owners even more smug.
…generate atmosphere-destroying OZONE!
…are capable of producing sticker ‘shock’ that will stop your heart.
…music systems won’t play AC/DC
Are found in the passing lane (holding everyone back).
I guess you’d passive aggressive driving.
Correction:
Are found in the passing lane (holding everyone back).
I’d guess you’d say that was passing aggressive driving.
. . . are about as electrifying as horses and buggies
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
work better on golf courses than highways.
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
exploit electrons in a manner not seen since the days of slavery.
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
have replaced fancy high end cars for male “Compensation”.
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
make chicks frigid.
…that cost less than a Tesla suck.
… are so quiet that LOOK OUT! THERE’S ONE COMING UP BEHIND YOU!
… vote Democrat, somehow.
…cause global warming.
… will be Obama’s “Emission Accomplished” moment.
… work best when you keep the slot on the track cleared of dust.
… produce near-lethal amounts of smug.
… never quite compare to acoustic cars.
…are guaranteed against battery fires for 20,000 miles or 90 days, whichever comes first.
… got crossed with an AllState insurance “Mayhem” commercial and produced the Electric Mayhem.
…are not capable of electrifying crowds at an auto show.
…are not true Ottomobiles. (Come on, you thermodynamicists!)
…seem to drive better when recharged by coal-fired power plants.
…have high torque which is only matched by their high cost and their high degree of no user-serviceable parts inside.
…derive ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources…. Oh wait, that would be Eclectic Cars
@21, Excellent!
…can always find their way ohm
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
can only rock down to, Electric Avenue…
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
are the tools of Satan.
…threaten to exhaust our coal deposits by 10 or maybe even 20 minutes.
…only get asked to get something off the top shelf at Target when they are painted white.
…have an uncontrollable urge to kill the little girl by the river after being charged up.
Uh-Oh… A New Report Shows That Electric Cars are as sh!tty as we thought they were to begin with.
@21 can of spam – Also, acoustic cars don’t need amps.
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
… still can’t outrun my four year old’s tricycle
… can almost get to 2nd gear, when going downhill with the roof windmill accessory
… are now given away free with every Timeshare purchase
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
…should come with a free charger. Plymouth says their Charger is a better car anyway.
…know whats watt.
…are only as good as their extension cord.
@29: LOL
…should never, never be compared to a Buick Electra.
are groupies of Eldorado and Zoom by ELO.
…are great for mass executions. More efficient than a single electric chair.
…have terrible traction. They are prone to do the electric slide.
… will have positive and negative effects on: the racing circuit, Vin D-cell’s career, and AAA assistance.
@41(a) Bob: Insane clowns no longer riding as posse.
Have an enhanced range if you purchase the “giant wind up key” option for only $40,000.
…@ can of spam, yeah, but the humbucking pickups are popular with the likes of Oppo and rodney.
+1
….since electric cars have been around for 130 years, they are the best thing before sliced bread.
Uh-oh… a new report shows that electric cars…
…require 1.21 Jiggawats to operate
…will fill landfills with batteries that will leak battery acid that will get into the water supply.
…only have an operating range to get from Cracker Barrel to Cracker Barrel.