Hurricane Matthew came by for a visit this weekend. Friday, actually. I was out of town anyway, and had events in Perry on Saturday and Millen on Sunday, so it was Sunday night before I got a chance to see what all Matthew had wrought.
I did know that the power went off at 8:36 Friday night, because, well, I have it tell me things like that. And here it is Monday afternoon, and the power isn’t back on yet. Georgia Power says I’ll have service by 10:00 tonight. They, as well as the local EMC, have had workers out all day and all night working on things. I have no complaints. Sure, I wish my power was one of the first back on, but I can understand them focusing on nursing homes, restaurants, grocery stores, and such. Or so it seems.
Now, we’ve had hurricanes before. When David came through in 1979, it hit closer, but it had already weakened by then (thanks, Florida). When Hugo came through in 1989, it was more powerful than David, but further away. We even managed to get in some football during that Thursday night strike.
Matthew, though, was more of a problem than either of those. At least, it seemed to put down more trees and tree parts in very inconvenient locations. Driving out of Millen, for instance, there were several traffic lights out on U.S. 25 in Statesboro. Most people knew to treat such circumstances as a four-way stop. But some didn’t. You know what you call dumbasses like that? Dumbasses.
Anyway, same was true for Claxton (the place famous for fruitcakes — the kind you have at Christmas), Glennville, Ludowici, and Jesup. Yes, those are all real places. Brunswick, where my son lives, is in pretty good shape. They have power, at least.
Me? No power. But I do have a tree in a tree. The tree that’s in the ground is actually the neighbor’s. It just hangs over into my yard. Free shade!
The tree in that tree is my tree. Well, actually, it’s part of my tree. A good chunk of it, at least. And, I need to get it out of the neighbor’s tree. The neighbor isn’t there, so the neighbor doesn’t know my tree is in their tree. I’d kinda like to keep it that way.
So, any tips on getting a tree out of a tree? I’ve tried offering it treats, but it just won’t … leave.
Sounds like you’ll be undoing the cord-ian knot.
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Do. Or do not. There is no tree.
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Use the ol’ “What’s your elm doing in my oak?” / “Never mind that; what’s your oak doing with my elm?”
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{Seinfeld voice:} “Look, we could argue all day about whose tree is in whose. The important thing is that, in this modern world, it just doesn’t seem that relevant.”
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{Carl Spackler voice:} “Who are the tree’s best buddies? The friendly squirrel, and the friendly owl . . . ”
“I’ve got one word for you, Benjamin. Plastiques.”.
I think that I will never C-4
A boom as lovely as a tree fort.
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Didn’t George Washington warn us about fir & entanglements?
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What God has joined, let Husqvarna put asunder.
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No limber-scene liberals in the area?
Since there was no intent, no reasonable prosecutor would hold you responsible.
Use a hose to splash some cold water on them. It sometimes works on Bill Clinton.
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Decorate your portion like a kite; get some tourist money from Charlie Brown fans.
Tens of thousands in government grants are yours for promoting your Gay-Friendly Arbor Day display.
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Is that a pecan tree? You got a pecannibal on your hands.
Your photo is confusing to me…I can’t tell where your tree ends and your neighbors begins.
Attach a sign: “Hurricane Matthew 3:10”
or:
“Here is a Millennial leaving the parent stem, embraced by the government.”
This hurricane was clearly the result of man-made climate change, it is everyone’s fault, even your neighbors.
Let him remove the tree.
Are you certain your neighbor wasn’t trying to steal your tree and got caught in the act?
“Let me take Yew down
‘Cause I’m going to
Straw-voting feels
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about.
Sophistry Feels Forever.
No one I think is helping with my tree . . “
Unlike the clowns I will provide some usable advice. Use a chainsaw or explosives.
You bigoted hylophobe! There are no such things as borders, and it’s a violation of the rights of all Arboreal-Americans to try to separate two consenting trees, even if they can’t cross-pollinate. Ents will be picketing your place tomorrow.
Don’t axe, don’t fell!
Put Obama in charge of the United Trees. They’ll fall apart quickly.
Glad to hear you made it through relatively unscathed. Down here in NE Florida, in my area anyways (Clay County), lots of broken trees and power was out for more than 24 hours. The beaches in St. John’s and Flagler Counties…well, it’s going to be a long time before things are normal for them, and never for some people, unfortunately.