NASA has wind tunnel tested futuristic aircraft dubbed “the new Concorde” which is capable of breaking the sound barrier.

Cool! If it’s capable of firing missiles, they can finally do that “Muslim Outreach” thing right.

Trend: therapists nationwide face a growing tide of patients complaining of panic attacks and insomnia because of President Trump.

This is terrible! What if they’re too tired to knit a hat for their next protest?

The House Intelligence Committee said it “will make inquiries” into whether the Obama administration wiretapped Trump’s campaign.

Nah. Obama wouldn’t abuse government power like that. The “TP” stands for “Trump Plaza,” not “Tea Party”.