Climate change is going to cause grass to mutate in ways that could possibly include, but is certainly not limited to, becoming a danger to humans with possible nasty teeth implications. HOW CAN YOU TAKE THE CHANCE!
Camera pans over smokestacks Narrator: We were worried that putting CO2 in the air would cause problems. Camera pans over glaciers Narrator: We thought we knew where the problem would be. Montage of scientists giving speeches, pointing at charts Narrator: When the warming paused, we thought we were safe. A forest, with the camera pointed upwards to the tops of the trees Narrator: But we forgot that there were already life forms here that fed on carbon dioxide. Camera shows man walking across a grassy lawn Narrator: And with all the food we gave them… The man jerks in pain, then falls over Narrator: … they only got hungry for more. Black screen for one second The Phrase Hungry Grass appears
I predict that climate change is going to cause serious volcanic activity possibly (wild guess here) in one of the Hawaiian Islands, probably the big island.
My ex-husband actually sent this article to our daughter, with an apology for the sins of our generation. (“This is why he is my Ex,” exhibit # 48,597.)
Climate change is going to cause grass to mutate in ways that could possibly include, but is certainly not limited to, becoming a danger to humans with possible nasty teeth implications. HOW CAN YOU TAKE THE CHANCE!
Camera pans over smokestacks
Narrator: We were worried that putting CO2 in the air would cause problems.
Camera pans over glaciers
Narrator: We thought we knew where the problem would be.
Montage of scientists giving speeches, pointing at charts
Narrator: When the warming paused, we thought we were safe.
A forest, with the camera pointed upwards to the tops of the trees
Narrator: But we forgot that there were already life forms here that fed on carbon dioxide.
Camera shows man walking across a grassy lawn
Narrator: And with all the food we gave them…
The man jerks in pain, then falls over
Narrator: … they only got hungry for more.
Black screen for one second
The Phrase Hungry Grass appears
“Daisy” political ad:
Sweet little girl is humming, studying nuclear energy, when suddenly a daisy from the lawn obliterates her.
“Vote Democrat.”
The Grass wants your A$$.
You need to get a bigger lawnmower.
Get this SOD off me!
Grass that “starts” biting? Have y’all walked barefoot on St. Augustine grass?
Is that some kind of euphemism?
I predict that climate change is going to cause serious volcanic activity possibly (wild guess here) in one of the Hawaiian Islands, probably the big island.
They have already begun.
https://earther.com/lawns-are-an-ecological-disaster-1826070720
My ex-husband actually sent this article to our daughter, with an apology for the sins of our generation. (“This is why he is my Ex,” exhibit # 48,597.)
Didn’t Owl Gore already warn us about lethal grass?
Dude, what’s wrong with the grass man, can’t you just smoke it?
Depends on the strain man! lolol
Bummer.
Science! It included a lawn-‘tude-inal study.
We’d better have the lyrics to ‘Puberty Love’ handy, just in case the tomatoes rise up.
The critics agree………it’s baaad!!!