“Forget Berkeley! In Baltimore, we call these ‘rat hole covers.'”
“President Trump tried to use rats to insult us,” said Young, “but we will turn his insult into power by embracing our rodent brethren. Trump says we’re rat infested? I say we’re rat infused! Full of the sleek, beautiful essence of these noble creatures. Smaller than cats, quieter than dogs, better smelling than skunks! This is an animal that has a lot going for it. And I don’t mean plague fleas, because that’s just anti-rat Republican propaganda. Those was mostly from witches, and we burned all of them decades ago.”
Young’s new pro-rat attitude seems to be a slap in the face to President Trump, who will likely not be re-elected in 2020 as a result. Mayor Young gave the speech as part of his “All Rat With Me” initiative, which seeks to help urban residents appreciate and live in harmony with their skin-tail-squirrel compatriots, as they share food, lodging, and sleeping quarters in a way that will usher in a new era of peace and understanding between the formerly antagonistic species.
“Some people say that rats are a sign of poverty,” Young said, “but if you think about it, they’re really a sign of wealth. If you have rats, it means you have so much food that it gets thrown away in the dumpsters where the rats live and breed. If we were poor, those would be people living in those dumpsters. But we’re lousy with food! And living space! Did you know that inner city apartment buildings are so luxurious and spacious that they can hold up to 7 families of rats for every human family? Why, the very palaces of Europe were never so accommodating! America truly is a wondrous and blessed land, and how much more so the Charm City of Baltimore!”
Mayor Young said he’s looking forward to making a “Rat Town USA” out of Baltimore.
“As it happens,” continued Young, “2020 is the ‘Year of the Rat’ on the Chinese calendar, and we’re taking that as a sign. Next year’s celebrations will be grander than ever. Rat festivals, rat parades, rat hats, the 4H rat show, Ratto de Mayo for the Spanish folk, and a huge and solemn memorial will be held for all that rats that have tragically passed away, called “Rodentia in Absentia.” We’ll miss those scurrying little critters. Every one of them is precious.”
While largely ignoring Mayor Young’s new rattitude, President Trump did make one cryptic tweet, perhaps a reference to an obscure 70’s horror movie.
“Mayor Willard, I hope you find your Ben”.
[IMAO Ace Reporter zzyzx contributed to this article]
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Have they tried registering the rats to vote yet?
Of course the Democrats have registered the rats to vote! Just as they’ve registered the rats to vote in all of the big rat infested cities in this land. Do you think they could maintain their political power in large urban areas without this all important voting block? If you’re a Democrat….ya just gotta have the rat vote!
of course they have……Look at their voting results! This “Mayor”, has his electorate confused with “RAT EATING *DEMONCRATS”……{ THE THOUGHT “PLAGUES ME”!}….:o}}}}}
MUST BE VERY LOW IQ, VOTERS THAT PUT THIS GUY IN PLACE!
Trump: Baltimore is a rat and rodent infested mess.
Mayor Young: You say that like it’s a bad thing!
Why is this blog wasting time on Baltimore’s “rat pride” campaign, when President Trump’s redirection of Hurricane Dorian away from Mar Lago, and toward North Carolina is so obviously a violation of the emoluments clause. The Democrats must immediately launch an investigation, since Dorian is now approaching their greatest concentration of liberal voters.
Why? Because we’re just another tool in the pocket of Big Weather!
Another tragic victim of TDS.
Nothing like insulting your local citizens to the maximum degree! This mayor should be removed from office immediately, by the health authorities.