Straight Line of the Day: From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
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Modern day deep throat is more of a high pitched outraged squeal.
CNN is more catcher than pitcher.
… why most people don’t watch CNN…
… why we see less of Wolf Blitzer during full moons…
… that Don Lemon is more a descriptor than a name…
… what Chris Cuomo is really “aFredo” of…
…nothing new or newsy.
…there’s a Zucker born every minute!
… they don’t want Shepard Smith either.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
well I’m not saying that they have been covering up the existence of Aliens but… they’ve been covering up the existence of Aliens.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
they have indigestion problems.
…the brand of paint each anchor prefers to huff.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
they playa hat8rs.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
they have been hiding the evidence from the Kelner case because a Democrat was negatively involved.
… fake news is acceptable as long as it’s spelled “phake” and the anchor has his fingers crossed.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
they payed James Earl Jones slave wages to do the voice-over.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
that they do, in their heart of hearts, believe Hillary lost.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
about their morbid fascination with Giant Sloths.
No fascination with giant sloths could ever be considered “morbid.”
Time to go delete my browser history.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
reports the “News” using parody.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
they like it when Trump talks “Dirty”. Ohhhh, grab me Donnie, make it hurt!
…everything is indeed a Communist plot.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
the true facts of Harvey’s “Disappearance”
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
the mistakenly think it is pronounced Basil, not Basil.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
what we need to know when China lets CNN know.
… that the “C” in CNN stands for Convenient…
They are super easy.
CNN : News :: NBC : Courtship
…their mortal enemy, on or off air, is speaking the truth.
…anyone saying anything that doesn’t send a thrill up Jeff Zucker’s leg will be shot, then fired.
…all Conservatives are fanatics but no Liberal can be too fanatical, too biased, or too stupid.
…that most of the employee orientation is spent training new hires how to spell CNN.
…white guilt is the carbon credit of white privilege, but you can offset the offset by voluntarily watching CNN.
…the green room coffee is three days old.
…Don Lemon has a thing for Limeys.
I thought he was a sour Italian mobster.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
…the sausage they are making is, and always has been, full of fillers, dyes and artificial ingredients.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
what YGDFT!YLTATSOTE actually stands for.
… their chagrin that they’re still unable to hire any writers from The Onion, to at least upgrade the quality of their “news.”
There will not be a Harumph forthcoming.
That Mongo like candy.
It’s not good to steal Jobu’s rum.
From the CNN insider’s recordings, we’ll learn…
what we will be required to believe tomorrow.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
I tend to just continue the first.
Orange man bad.
The cake is a lie.
… the network was founded by mistake when Ted Turner used shorthand to write “cinnamon” on his grocery list.
Stifler’s mom started #MeToo