Straight Line of the Day: Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
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… The country says “Ouch!”…
… They order a round, and the duck says, “Put it on my bill.” Hillary says, “Putting it on my Bill is a Right-wing conspiracy trick!” Biden reaches for his trusty, rusty chain…
I approve of this joke. ~ Corn Pop
…well…Biden walked in – the other two waddled in.
That’s not just a good one…that’s a good one!
a really tough bar. https://youtu.be/gIKHwVN-lLY
…Hillary says, “I’m the best of all possible presidential candidates ever.” Biden replies, “Polling says I’m the best of this current gaggle of yahoos.” The duck quacks up…
And Barr said “I’ve been looking for you two. You can go, duck. Go.”
… The bartender looks up and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind in here, but the duck can stay.”…
Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
the Duck walks back out, Biden forgets why he walked in and Hillary forgets to walk out.
A duck!? Why a duck? Why a no chicken?
You try to get in there with a chicken and you’ll see why a no chicken.
The chicken was on the other side of the road.
Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
and you are probably wondering how I can fit in that I am not saying Aliens were somehow involved but…somehow I managed to work in Aliens anyway.
I’m not saying aliens were involved but that’s where Biden shot Greedo.
And mind you, getting shot in your Aliens can be pretti nasti.
Ouch!!
A duck!? Why a duck? Why a no talking giant kangaroo?
The kangaroo was in court.
I thought Froggy went a’courtin’.
Got to admire the dedication…
Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
and in 5 minutes Biden was sniffing the waitress’s hair, Hillary was calling her a Russian asset and the duck. well let us just say the Duck was not amused.
Well…ducks aren’t known for having much of a sense of humor.
More than almost all Feminists.
Combined.
… and the duck turns to the other two and says “Hey! Didn’t Rodney Dill do this on Wednesday’s Straight Line?”
(I had scheduled this one more than a week before that. Honestly!)
Pretty obvious Oppo is a Russian Asset.
They’re just having trouble grooming me.
So does your hairstylist.
Get some tips from Katie Hill.
Is Oppo one of them, there, Red Sparrow types?
Maybe a….Red Duck?
Grooming-wise – more like a Jack Sparrow type, I suspect.
Nonsense, that man had some serious panache.
You pan Oppo’s panache?
I ache over Oppo’s pan.
Personally speaking…”I aint touchin” Oppo’s panache.
I bet that Mrs. Oppo looks askance as well these days.
I heard that from a friend.
Who heard it from a friend.
Who heard it from a friend.
Who heard it from a source most anonymous.
… and AOC looks up and says “Happy Hour’s over, old-timers. Duck, I’m ready for my economics lesson.”
…and they lived happily ever after.
…the bartender asks, “Your usual, Mrs. Clinton,”
“Yes, please.”
He turns to the other two and says, “Sorry, gentlemen, but we just ran out of alcohol.”
… and the bartender says. “Oh no!. Here comes a really bad joke.”
… the duck whispers to Biden, “Say, what happened to the fourth guy — you know, the one with all the dirt on Hillary?”
… the duck whispers to Biden, ” ‘Ladies Pay Half Price’? Guess we’ll all be paying full price.”
That fourth guy…found dead…bullet in back of head…suicide…case closed.
… the bartender asks, “Which one of you is Daffy?” A lot of finger-and feather-pointing ensues.
Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
AFLAC!
, the duck’s name was Donald.
… on a dark and stormy night…
Hillary and Biden get miffed when Howard correctly points out that he was the best presidential candidate of the three of them.
Moe, Larry or Curly?
…Biden had the brain of the duck and Hillary weighed the same as the duck.
That must have been one fat duck.
…the duck says to the bartender, “Don’t ask why I’m with them.”
Hillary, Biden, and a duck walk into a bar…
purely by coincidence. Surely you aren’t one of those crackpot Alt-Right conspiracy theorists?
*No I am not. And don’t call me Shirley.*
…Hillary said, “OUCH!”. Biden said, “OUCH!”. And the duck, well he ducked.
… Biden had a machine gun that shoots chainsaws and a laser rocket launcher and bombs that explode into tigers made of fire and Hillary has an army of flying robot luchadors that can only be stopped by even flyinger robot luchadors but then the Earth turns out to be infested by a giant magic alien parasite so they have to team up to keep it from making a black hole and everything was part of an evil conspiracy by Western Union and just when everything looks hopeless the duck reveals that he’s not left-handed.
Left winged.
The bartender said, “Porky, Fudd, and Daffy, what is this some king of looney toon?”
And the rabbi, the priest, and the used car salesman all say “There goes the neighborhood!”
… The bartender asked, “Is it Basil, or Basil? Hillary and Biden didn’t know, and the duck? He ain’t talkin’…
… the bartender said they needed to pay their tabs. The duck had a bill, but Biden only had leftover Change and Hillary just had a bad cent.
…and the bartender grabs a mop while muttering, “Great, just what I need. A duck with two buttholes.”
…and Hillary strangles Biden for ordering a Shirly Temple, shaken, not stirred, while screaming about Russian meddling. The duck says, with a heavy Russian accent, “I’m having the Duck a la Modus Operandi. “
… and the French waiter — Oh, did I forget to mention he was French? — says: “Ah! La fange, le sange, et l’orange!”
(“The mire, the minkey, and ze special.” Then he makes a popping sound by hitting his lips with his hand.)
Hummmmm…sounds like an Italian waiter to me.