Walmart’s Secret “Flower Pot” Device Will Sit in the Home To Monitor Your Family’s Health — And Even Track Diseases
Daily Mail UK / 9/29/2019

No.
No, I can assure you: it won’t.

Still in the prototype stages, this medical device is set to ‘observe bodily movements and functions’, and is capable of monitoring the progression of certain diseases.

Remember, the Supreme Court has affirmed the right of Congress to force you to purchase health insurance. Therefore, by no great leap of logic, “medical devices.”

“Disguised as a flower pot, the omnipresent detection system can observe bodily movements and functions, such as heart rate, gait, and ultimately the progression of certain diseases, to help prevent negative outcomes that may be costly or worst, fatal,” Barclays analysts wrote in a note following the event.

It seems at-home health monitoring devices are the wave of the future, as earlier this year, scientists unveiled high tech ‘smart’ pajamas that monitor heartbeat, breathing and posture could soon be available. The cotton nightwear is equipped with sensors that can detect the sleep quality of the wearer but will cost between £75 and £150 ($100 to $200). Five self-powered sensors sewn into the shirt’s lining will provide continuous monitoring of breathing patterns and the amount of REM sleep the person gets.

REM sleep occurs at intervals during the night and is characterized by rapid eye movements, dreaming and bodily movement.

Four of the sensors measure pressure, or a body pressed against a bed. The fifth, is positioned over the chest and senses rapid pressure changes, which provides information about heart rate and breathing. [The UK’s Ministry of Unnecessary Commas provided no explanation for the comma after the word “fifth.”]

“Smart apparel with embedded self-powered sensors can revolutionize human behavior monitoring…” said associate professor Dr. Trisha Andrew at the University of Massachusetts. [… widely acclaimed for her impersonation of Dr. Strangelove. . . .]