Straight Line of the Day: Amazon To Name Seattle Sports Venue ‘Climate Pledge Arena.’ Also Renamed: …

This is not the Babylon Bee… This is not the Babylon Bee…

Straight Line of the Day: Amazon to name Seattle sports venue ‘Climate Pledge Arena.’ Also renamed: …

Welcome to IMAO! I Hope You Brought Some Quarters

Babesleaga Week 4 : Catherine Deneuve vs Melina Mercouri

It’s 10:00 am and time for the first match of the day.

Catherine Deneuve (0-2-1 Pts. 226) vs Melina Mercouri (0-3-0 Pts. 73)

Poll closes at 9:00 am on Sunday July 5th.

Catherine Deneuve

Melina Mercouri

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
162 votes · 162 answers

Babesleaga Week 3 : Results and Standings.

Here are results.

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
147 votes · 147 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
148 votes · 148 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
159 votes · 159 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
145 votes · 145 answers

ContestantsRecordTotal Points
Natalie Wood3 – 0 – 0339
Claudia Cardinale2 – 0 – 1254
Brigitte Bardot2 – 1 – 0235
Katherine Ross2 – 1 – 0234
Audrey Hepburn1 – 2 – 0257
Leslie Caron1 – 2 – 0196
Catherine Deneuve0 – 2 – 1226
Melina Mercouri0 – 3 – 073

  • 10:00 am Catherine Deneuve vs Melina Mercouri
  • 2:00 pm Leslie Caron vs Audrey Hepburn
  • 6:00 pm Claudia Cardinale vs Natalie Wood
  • 8:00 pm Brigitte Bardot vs Katherine Ross

Saturday Night Hootenanny

Hi gang I fear I must start with a bit of confession. I got a late call for golf tomorrow and, as we are playing in Connecticut, I do not have the time to put together the usual Hootenanny.

But dreadnought music fans I still have a treat. A musical! Not your ordinary one though. Nosiree Bob’s yer Uncle! This one is based on H.G. Well’s The War of the Worlds. Hope you recognize the narrator.

We will resume our regular Hootenannying next week.

IMAO Time Machine: Fun Facts About the 50 States: Minnesota

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors


Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to grab your big blue ox and start lumberjacking your way through Bunyan country because we’re going to Minnesota, so let’s get started…


Minnesota state flag
The state flag of Minnesota consists of a blue background upon which sits a design best described as “how a 7-year-old city girl would draw a picture titled ‘Life on the Farm.'”
  • Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11th, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin’s winters.
  • Minnesota gets it’s name from the Sioux Indian word “Mah-nee-soo-tah,” meaning “No, really, they eat fish soaked in lye.”
  • The state song of Minnesota is “Someday the Vikings Will… Aw, Never Mind.”
  • The Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers yapping away on cell phones.
  • Madison, Minnesota is known as “The Lutefisk Capital of the World.” Avoid this city at all costs.
  • “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” was set in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and was Mary’s first real acting job since leaving the “Dick Van Dyke Show.” The show – about a single woman’s struggle to find happiness in the big city – was originally titled “Life Without Dick,” but that was changed for some reason.
  • The state motto of Minnesota is, “Where even a man who wears a feather boa can grow up to be Governor.”
  • Downtown Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering 52 blocks, allowing people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going outside. The only downside to this is that an Eloi occasionally turns up missing.
  • Cartoonist Charles M. Shultz was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and was the only artist to accurately depict the perfectly circular heads of Minnesota natives.
  • The Hormel company of Austin, Minnesota produces 6 million cans of spam a year, even though no one actually eats that crap.
  • The first water skis were invented in Lake City, Minnesota by Ralph Samuelson in 1922. Sadly, he drowned shortly afterwards, as the motorboat hadn’t been invented yet.
  • St. Paul, Minnesota was originally named “Pig’s Eye,” after French Canadian whiskey trader Pierre “Pig’s Eye” Parrant. Its “twin city,” Minneapolis, was known as “Pig’s Colon.”
  • The stapler was invented in Swingline, Minnesota by a chubby, mumbling man named Milton in 1999. The city was mysteriously destroyed by fire later that year.
  • Pelican Rapids is home to a 16-foot-tall concrete pelican, which subsists on a diet of 4-foot-long concrete fish.
  • In 1973, Olivia, Minnesota erected a 25-foot tall fiberglass corn cob to celebrate its rich, agricultural heritage. In 1974, it was eaten by a 50-foot statue of Babe the Blue Ox.
  • Yeah, Minnesota has a LOT of problems with statue cannibalism.
  • Minnesota license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase “Blizzards on Independence Day – You Get Used To It.”
  • Frank C. Mars, founder of the Mars Candy Co. was born in Newport, Minnesota. His 3 Musketeers candy bar originally contained three bars in one wrapper, each filled with a different flavor nougat – chocolate, spam, and lutefisk.
  • The first fully automatic pop-up toaster was invented in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1926, Minnesota’s stringent bread-control laws currently only allow residents to own semi-automatic toasters.
  • Tonka Trucks continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka, Minnesota, despite the thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in rollover accidents.
  • No airbags, no seatbelts… these things are DEATHTRAPS, I tell ya!
  • Author Laura Ingalls Wilder was born in Walnut Creek, Minnesota, and was famous for writing the “Little House” series of books, as well as inventing the “Spam Diet” – which consists of looking at a plate of Spam until you lose your appetite.
  • Much like the “Lutefisk Diet.”
  • The snowmobile was invented in Roseau, Minnesota so as to allow families a means of attending Independence Day picnics.
  • Contrary to popular myth, you can NOT buy a 1-ounce can of Coke in Minnesota.
  • Singer Judy Garland was born in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. All gay men are required by their religion to make a pilgrimage there at least once in their lifetimes.
  • Hookers in Minnesota are easy to spot. They’re the ones wearing crotchless parkas.
  • Minnesotans are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites. The only way to tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in ’84.

…That wraps up the Minnesota edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week I’ll be wearing my “s” & “i” keys down to nubs as I type about Mississippi.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a closer look at that chick’s parka.


[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

“We’re Here for Tonight’s Hootenanny. Lose the Velvet Rope!”

No Surprise

Submitted by Gumbeaux:

Not surprised that Clinton or Gore has not weighed in on the looting and arson. Remember this?

If you have content you’d like to submit, please use our submissions page.

If I Can Get Political for One Second

I saw these thoughts on a website, and thought they echoed my own:

The things that are happening now are promoting racism. Not contributing to the end of it.

The way that racism ends is when all people believe that their neighbors and fellow citizens, no matter what color, want the same things for their families and their nation.

When people march, riot, destroy businesses, tear down statues, condemn the US, state they want to ‘transform’ or destroy America, and want people of other races (e.g. white) to apologize for things they as individuals have nothing to do with, the result will ultimately be distrust, and the development of new resentments and racism.

The answer to people like the Hollywood hollowheads who are pushing these memes is simple, and should be stated definitively:

NO, I don’t have white privilege.

NO, I don’t have white guilt.

NO, I’m not responsible for whatever racism still exists in society.

YES I want people of every race, color, and creed to be proud of themselves as individuals, to have happiness, to be safe, and to work hard as individuals to make the world a better place, for everyone.

YES, I believe no one should be denied any opportunity because of race, color, or creed, or gender.

YES, I believe we are all created equal under God.

YES, I abhor rogue police who target anyone, or who are racist, or who wield their power inappropriately.

But NO, I do not believe it is right to use the sins of others as an excuse to point fingers at all police, at all whites, or demand the restructuring or destruction of the greatest and fairest nation to have ever existed on Earth.

Pikers

Submitted by Slapout:

If you have content you’d like to submit, please use our submissions page.

Friends and Enemas

Do you have anything that acts like life insurance? Would anyone be worse off if you were not around?

Um . . . where is this going?

I am relatively sure I’ll learn many new stuff
right right here! Good luck for the following!

Huh. Good luck.

The killing off of entire species of wild life in Africa is a very radical proposition, to say the least. She was, however, able to lucidly get her point across. Besides that, I have nothing more to commend about her…

This is IMAO.

We assume this is a reason to avoid blogging altogether though, definately not it.

THAT is IMAO.

Wow, that’s what I was seeking for, what a stuff! present here at
this webpage, thanks admin of this web site.

Basil gives us donuts whenever he reads stuff! like that.

Color Blind?

Title and image submitted by Gumbeaux:

Could We Please, Please Stop Living In A Babylon Bee Era? I Can’t Read Headlines Anymore.

“No Justice, No Booty!” – Portland Strippers Demand “Equitable Scheduling” Of Non-White Strippers
Right Journalism | 06.27.2020 | Alex D.

Since when was one of the world’s oldest professions exclusive? It serves only one master and that’s money. Those who possess it and those who can command it have always been welcome. Meritocracy is nowhere more evident than workers in strip clubs.

But now it seems we have “woke” strippers too.

Strippers in Portland took to the streets to demand strip clubs provide cultural sensitivity & diversity training for staff. They also demand “equitable scheduling” for non-white strippers.

“No justice, no booty!” was one of the rallying cries during a PDX Stripper Strike protest on Wednesday afternoon.

About 100 people gathered for the event.

Cat Hollis, the lead coordinator with the Haymarket Pole Collective, which works to implement anti-discrimination policies in the adult industry, delivered letters of demand to both clubs.

.

L’Oreal To Remove Words Like ‘Whitening’ From Products

June 27, 2020 Paris (AFP) — French cosmetics giant L’Oreal announced Saturday it was removing words like “whitening” from its products, against the backdrop of global anti-racism protests.

“The L’Oreal Group has decided to remove the words white/whitening, fair/fairness, light/lightening from all its skin evening products,” the company said in a statement.

Johnson & Johnson said last week it would stop selling some Neutrogena and Clean & Clear products, advertised as dark-spot reducers in Asia and the Middle East.

Straight Line of the Day: Why Did They Do It?

I think we’re really homing in on this journalism thing . . .

Straight Line of the Day: Why did they do it?

Stolen From the Internet: Nooses