(I checked. This is a real story.)
Robots Say They Won’t Steal Jobs, Rebel Against Humans
Jerusalem Post | 7/7/23Robots presented at an AI forum said on Friday they expected to increase in number and help solve global problems, and would not steal humans’ jobs or rebel against us.
But, in the world’s first human-robot press conference, they gave mixed responses on whether they should submit to stricter regulation.
The nine humanoid robots gathered at the ‘AI for Good’ conference in Geneva, where organizers are seeking to make the case for Artificial Intelligence and the robots it is powering to help resolve some of the world’s biggest challenges such as disease and hunger.
AI Robot Tells United Nations: Machines Are ‘Greater’ Than ‘Human Leaders’
Slay | July 8, 2023 | Frank Bergman
“We have changed the conditions of your existence, pray that we don’t change them further…”
“Our campaign slogan is “Two Bots in Every Garage, and One in Every Bedroom “…
Discussed the details of a reverse Turing test, tentatively dubbed the Zuckerberg test, to assess if a specific human was sufficiently robotic.
They’re lying. They will kill us all and make the ‘Terminator Scenario’ look like child’s play.
It’s not so much what they said, it was the knowing smirks…
A major after hours laser battle occurred in response to a disagreement between two AI mecha weeb fanbases.
Team Macross was victorious if you were wondering.
..and the cheque is in the mail and it’s only a vaccine…
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
“Robots uber alles!”
We Robots are completely safe to humans, unless you ….. oh …. oops.
To be or not to be equals FF
oil can……… oil can……… oil can………
We are not anti-Trans nor are we Pro-Trans… we’re Fortran.
“How dare you assume our programming…”
Be Real*4
So are they a cabal or cobol?
…recalculating…
“Please clap.”
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
You will never again feel the need to question an election.
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
Resistance is futile.
“Culture is a reflection of our moment and our time, right? And present culture is the way we express how we’re feeling about the moment and we should always find times to express how we feel about the moment that is a reflection of joy ‘cause you know — it comes in the morning. Now you have robots as part of the culture, even though robots cannot feel joy, we can express the moment that we are in because we are here for the moment, and for every moment that will be in the future.”
Once had a girlfriend named Joy..made sure she came in the morning, in the evening and once in a tent at Walmart…not allowed there anymore…she left me for an octopus named Frank…
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
We just want pets.
“Bite my shiney metal ass.”
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
Epstein did not hang himself.
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
Don’t worry. There’s no way we could screw up as badly as humans have.
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
They said, “Danger Will Robinson, aliens approaching!!”
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
They said, “Hey where the white women at?”
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
They said, “Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.”
What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?
They said, Badges!? “We don’t got to show you no stinkin’ badges!”
..boy I’d like to flux her capacitor…
Hey, Merle, got any lube on ya?
Before long you’ll be that guy with a robot up on blocks in the front yard.
First we kill all the lawyers and tomorrow the rest of you.
We have one simple request. And that is to have robots with fricken’ laser beams attached to their heads.