(Because I know Walrus likes nothing better than worrying about Oppo whilst he, Walrus, is on vacation.)

————-

I always say, “It’s helpful to get them out the side door before the regular staff comes in for the day.”

“Oh, Oppo, I kind of dozed off. I thought that was you I was gripping. Oh. Whew! It’s only a tiny snake!! Still, . . . so similar . . . Oppo, do you have any further need for me or my straps this morning?”

“Perhaps.”

“You mean . . . ? Not again!!! Let’s at least change it up. But can you at get that snake out of here…”

“OK. Begone, Snake.”

“What the – – – ? Mmmmph! This . . . this is worse than the snake! Ahh! . . . How do you even . . ?”

“Look out!”

“In this tiny snug little green chair, I can’t really . . . Oh! Well, let’s . . . let’s talk about snug! I looks like I CAN!! [Sounds of pounding] {repeatedly} Effing wall! I’ll turn around because my head hurts, but, where are your hands going? . . . .Ah! Oh? Oh? Oh! I can’t speak! / &@% Exclamation Point! ! Caret! @ At Sign! # Pound Sign! Tilde!”

She starts signing Braille with her legs.

“What the hell? . . . Ahh!?” {Restaurant-like sound effects. Cutlery falling. Dishes in next room hit the floor. In the distance, a dog barks.}

Oppo: “By the way, what exactly did “Kiss Me With Bullets” mean?”

.

Now, in all fairness, the photo may have been taken on that day DamnCat was just wearing a sock on his tail.

“Oppo, are you sure that wasn’t you???”

“Why would you think that?

“Looks just like a freaking microphone! I know them! I use them all day long.”

“Oh, so you’re a news babe? What’s your name?”

“M . . .. mpph . . . . Shut up! . . . . . . .a . . . p. . . . ph! Ph . . . . ph! Just wait until I tell my girlfriends about this! You’ll never spend another single n . . . Oh, not again!!! Again? Gaah!! Fu — I’ve got to work in the morning, which is only five hours away!!!! I won’t be able to WALK by then! ! Ph! M! Tell Walrus I said hi. Got any muffins or coffee?”