Dying Laughing

Imagine being so stupid as to own rental units in D.C. It reads like a Bob Newhart sketch.

DC Landlord Forced To Wait Longer After He Says Tenants Haven’t Paid Rent in 3 Years
nbcwashington.com | 9/27/23 | Ted Oberg, Rick Yarborough and Steve Jones

A D.C. landlord who tells the News4 I-Team he hasn’t been paid rent in three years will have to wait at least another four months to get a trial on evicting the tenants.

John Jones owns a single two-bedroom unit in Southeast D.C. The I-Team first met him when he complained he was missing $14,000 from a COVID-era rent relief program. City documents show a check was sent in 2021 to the tenants, and that check was cashed — but the tenants never sent the money to Jones.

He says they hadn’t paid rent for a few months before, and haven’t since. He says he’s now owed $46,800.

Jones waited for D.C.’s eviction moratorium to expire and months later filed an eviction petition. His first case was dismissed, he says, because the judge told him he needed to hire a lawyer. His second petition was filed this spring. Six months later, he got his first hearing, which happened Wednesday.

In court, one of the tenants, Dimonte Cosbert, told the magistrate judge he hadn’t paid rent “due to a lack of conditions. That’s one possible reason the rent wasn’t paid.”

Cosbert, who attended the hearing remotely, said the stove, outlets and smoke detectors weren’t working. The other tenant, Shandell Whren, initially called into the hearing but dropped off after Cosbert said her phone died.

Magistrate Judge Stephen Rickard told the tenant he may be able to reduce a portion of the rent due to the appliance issue and set a hearing in mid-December, three months from now.

Wendy’s

Wendy’s.

Walrus’s Office: Intern Checks In

Straight Line of the Day: What Can You Bring to a Ball Game for Emotional Support?

Gator-aid! Phillies fan is refused entry to Citizens Bank Park after bringing his emotional support ALLIGATOR ‘Wally’ to stadium to help battle depression
Daily Mail UK | September 28, 2023 | Dolores Chang

A Phillies fan has been refused entry to Citizens Bank Park after bringing his emotional support alligator named Wally.

Joie Henney tried to bring in the reptile – which is helping him battle depression and cancer – to the baseball game on Wednesday night.

But the beast was not allowed in to watch the Phillies clinch a nail-biting playoff victory over the Pirates.

‘Guide dogs, service animals, or service animals in training are welcome. All other animals are prohibited,’ the Phillies’ website said.

Alligators do not belong to any of those categories and could only watch the Phillies take on the Pirates from home.

From the photos at the site, looks like he’s around four feet long, seventy pounds or more.

Welcome to IMAO! Placebros

Hey; at least they’re semi-honest:

Cartoons and Memes

“Good morning Mr. Walrus I brought you little pick me up.”

“That bikini certainly picks me up for sure.”

“I meant the cup of coffee.”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s move on shall we.”

“Moving on sir.”

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