21 Comments

  1. 8:00 Bribe judges
    8:15 Lock up all the hoods, thugs, & IMAO posters
    10:15 Meeting with prison wardens re: chain gang kickbacks
    12:30 Symposium on prison reform.
    12:31 Press conference re: correctional corruption
    1:00 Failure to communicate mitigation session.
    5:00 Bask in glow of media praise.

  2. Signing up for Internet courses:
    Speech Writing For Dummies, and other Word Salad Preparation
    Speech Delivery For Dummies Who Failed The Speech Writing Course
    Post Turtle Survival
    Making an Ignorant Crooked Demented Vegetable Boss Look Good By Comparison

  3. …well let’s go to the source herself:
    “A calender is something that calends, which means to keep track of dates, which I have a lot of, so it is always busy calending. I have a busy calender.”

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