Friday Night Open Thread: Positive Experiences

People seem to like having good things happen to them — like finding money on the sidewalk. These things sometimes happen.

I found a $20 bill on the sidewalk once, and have never forgotten it.

(Unlike Rihar, I didn’t try to find the owner.)

I even won sometimes at casinos, and enjoyed that. Yes, there are more times I’ve lost. I try to forget those, but note this: no one tries to forget the times they won.

Can any of you cite any instances of anything that’s ever happened to you that was positive?

(Don’t get too personal. We probably don’t want to hear it. I know I don’t, for sure.)

But perhaps relate something like getting a 13th McNugget in a 12-piece order, or something like that. That has never happened to me, but I reckon that $20 bill I found makes up for it. (If I ever lose that twenty, I hope Rihar finds it.)

It’s the little things that make life worthwhile.

Next Week: How To Deal With Jealousy Over Good Luck Other People Have Had

I’ve Written My Memoirs, and You’re In Them!

I just had to pad them out to a thousand words or more, per the publisher’s contract. So I named you.

I then counted up the words. Still fell well short of the target.

Then I tried to tell an anecdote, but got lost in the details, and panicked: it ended with a summary of a Gilligan’s Island episode that would never have made it to film.

In the end, my memoirs were slightly more interesting than Hillary’s and Obama’s. And rather more truthful, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and my apologies to DamnCat. I added a few other unnecessary expletives.

IMAO PSA: “Don’t Fall”

Also, don’t run afoul of the mob.

Bill Maher Confronts Jay Leno With Gambling Debt Rumors
Daily Beast ^ | December 27, 2024 | Matt Wilstein

Bill Maher confronted Jay Leno, 74, with a “conspiracy theory” that the former Tonight Show host’s spate of accidents in recent years were the result of a gambling addiction gone wrong.

“It’s a conspiracy theory since you’ve had three accidents that you actually have gambling debts and are being beaten up by the mob,” Maher told Leno, who laughed off the suggestion as he appeared on the Club Random podcast.

“I love the idea that the mob would drive to Greenberg, Pennsylvania, wait outside the Hampton Inn on a kind of sleety, rainy day to throw me down a hill,” Leno joked, referring to the most recent accident—which left him with a bruised face and sporting an eyepatch after he says he rolled down a steep hill and hit his eye on a rock.

Before that, Leno suffered multiple injuries related to maintaining his classic car collection, including one in which he set his face on fire and another that resulted in multiple broken bones.

All of this led to speculation that Leno, whose net worth is estimated to be north of $450 million, was the victim of loan sharks to whom he owed money.

After Maher explained that no one thinks the mob threw him down a hill, but rather that he is coming up with elaborate “cover stories” for his bad luck. However, Leno calmly assured him that all of his injuries have perfectly reasonable explanations.

The comedian went on to recount that his Tonight Show predecessor Johnny Carson did actually run afoul of organized crime after he was caught “hitting on” a pair of mob girlfriends.

“They put a hit out on Carson. So Carson stops The Tonight Show for the week. He just goes, he leaves, because this is real.”

I found the bit about Carson interesting.

Straight Line of the Day: What Would You Do With the Pyramids for a Day?

MrBeast to Rent Ancient Egyptian Pyramids to Explore Parts ‘That No One’s Seen Publicly’
ARTnews | December 18, 2024 | Francesca Aton

The Egyptian government has yet again rented out the pyramids to the highest bidder—this time to American YouTuber MrBeast.

“We got all three of the pyramids of Egypt for 100 hours. I’m gonna do a video where they let me explore anywhere I want in the Pyramids,” MrBeast revealed during the “Beyond the Records” podcast with Noah Lyles.

MrBeast is known for organizing and filming extreme challenges and prize giveaways.

“I’d never been inside of [the pyramids]. I want to just find secrets and go through all the rooms and tombs and that kind of stuff,” he continued. “I’m so excited because there are all these secret corridors deep below too. I don’t know what to expect.”

Accompanied by a tour guide, MrBeast and some of his friends plan to traverse the inside of the ancient monument, where they will also sleep at night. The YouTuber plans to film the experience, probing for ghosts along the way, with the objective of showing people parts of the pyramid “that no one’s seen publicly.”

He worked with the Egyptian government to gain private access and permission to film there.

This is not the first time people have gotten private access to ancient Egyptian sites. Earlier this year, for example, the ancient Egyptian pyramids and the Great Sphinx in Giza were closed to the public for a week to accommodate a tech billionaire’s wedding.

The Great Sphinx and Pyramids are among the world’s most important archaeological sites.

Welcome to IMAO! Can We Clarify Why You Came Here?

Maybe Miss Cardinale.

Friday Classic Funny

“Why Miss Munro, I see you’ve taken up knitting.”

“Yes but I’m afraid I’m not very good at it.”

“Why so?’

“Well, there is one string that if you pull it the whole thing unravels.”

“I’ll find it for you.”

“Thanks. Oh we got a call back to FrankJ for everyone.”

“Fantastic.”

FrankJ:

Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for moreFrank TalkSend the gift of Frank Talk this holiday seasonSend a giftThis is a free post for everyone because I love you all.Still, you’re missing out on a lot by not being a paid subscriber. Click the button below to get the full Frank Talk experience including access to all the humor articles and short stories. You’ll also help support all my important experiments in humor.20% off for a limited time!Upgrade to paidNew Year’s Prediction

Here’s what I think will happen this following year
Frank J. FlemingJan 1 READ IN APP

 Congratulations! You made it to 2025! The future! We’re like one quarter over with this new century.But what can we expect this year? Well, only God knows, but I’ll make some predictions.My Predictions for 2025
Trump says something that people overreact to.Democrats will make an accusation of racism.
Elon Musk will write multiple tweets.
Disney will do a live-action remake of one of their popular cartoon movies.
A clip from The View will go viral from them saying something exceptionally stupid.
Bernie Sanders will show a complete lack of understanding of economics.
There will be some new sequels to popular movies.
Taylor Swift will be in the news.
I’ll write something that causes a mild chuckle.
Global thermonuclear war.
Well, those are my predictions. A lot of them sound like some bad stuff, so hopefully I’m wrong. But if they all start to come true, you better prepare for all of them!
What are your predictions?
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