Confused Biden Pardons Literally Hitler, Because He’s Opposed to the Racist Death Penalty or Something

After speaking to Samantha Burns’ parents, I believe it is my duty to speak on their behalf and say President Biden’s decision to commute the death sentences for the two men convicted in her brutal murder is horribly misguided and insulting. (1/3) — Senator Joe Manchin (@Sen_JoeManchin) December 26, 2024

Particularly since Samantha’s family wrote letters to President Biden & the Department of Justice, pleading for them not to do this, but their concerns were unheard. I can’t imagine the grief that Kandi and John Burns are reliving and dealing with during the holiday season. (2/3) — Senator Joe Manchin (@Sen_JoeManchin) December 26, 2024

As their U.S. Senator and a father, I want to express my deepest sympathy for their continued suffering. Please know that Samantha will forever be in our prayers. (3/3) — Senator Joe Manchin (@Sen_JoeManchin) December 26, 2024

8 Comments

  1. George W. Bush (blinking and confused): What we have here is failure to commuteecate.

    Biden: Oh, yeah? Watch me commutater sumpin.

    Obama (continues heavy breathing on conference call, then): Yes, Yes, Yessss!, I do have “Prince Albert” in the can.

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