As you all probably know, Bill Clinton opened his presidential library yesterday. Before you make any jokes, no, it’s not just porn.
There are also some saxophones.
The building is supposed to represent Clinton’s bridge to the 21st century, but it looks like a giant trailer from a trailer park. Expect the whole thing to be knocked over come next Halloween.
Hear about the Vibe awards? Put a bunch of violent rappers in one room and there’s a stabbing! I’m shocked – shocked, I tell you!
I say some stabbing might liven up the Oscars, but I won’t try and tell Chris Rock what’s funny.
U.S. forces have captured Al-Zarqawi’s headquarters, a place which has funding almost as shady as the Clinton Library. Having confiscated all his equipment, I hear Zarqawi is now left to planning terror on an Etch-a-Sketch.
“The CIA is coming! Shake! Shake like you never have before, Omar!”
An Iraqi militant group warned Muslims to skip the country’s coming elections, and said anyone who runs for office would be branded an infidel and “punished in the name of God.” Wow, rhetoric on elections there is almost getting as bad as it is here. Expect Moveon.org to come in and make the militant group look moderate.
Condoleezza Rice is to have uterine fibroid surgery – just to rub her health insurance in all the faces of the uninsured!
REPUBLICANS!!!!
Bill Gates is the world’s most spammed person, and there’s a whole division dedicated to making sure he only get wanted e-mails. Problem is he’s too shy to tell them he really does want a larger penis.
U.S. is once again considering giving the Palestinians aid. If you have a strap on bomb you’re not using and would like to donate, contact the State Department.
The cause of Arafat’s death may soon be revealed. I’m guessing motorcycle stunt gone bad.
And I think it would be a great idea to have weekly “awards” ceremonies, meetings, what-ever of all the rappers and their fans.
Maybe by the end of the year I won’t have to put up with my car thumping and vibrating at traffic lights.
yay ALIAS!!!! right after Lost! 2 JJ shows back to back, i don’t know what’s better!
except that i’ll watch them off Tivo and miss the commercials. 🙂
btw, you’re so funny.
An Iraqi militant group warned Muslims to skip the country’s coming elections, and said anyone who runs for office would be branded an infidel and “punished in the name of God.”
I think that this would be the perfect place for “p-Diddy” Combs and his “vote or die” campaign. except it would be “vote and die” I guess.
A little more discretion on Dr. Rice’s organs, please. In the future, please use a phrase like, “visiting a Lady’s doctor” or “undegoing a sensitive feminine adjustment.”
Does this mean her and George will face a tear-filled, childless future? Is their relationship strong enough to survive this?
They’re taking an awful chance with that library design. Down in that part of the country, anything that even looks like a trailer or trailer park attracts tornadoes. A trailer that size would bring one hell of a tornado.
I believe Team America contains a song about how arafat died. It goes a little something like…
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!
Everyone has AIDS!
And so this is the end of our story
and everyone is dead from AIDS.
It took from me my best friend, my only
true pal, my only bright star.
Well, I’m gonna march on Washington,
lead the fight and charge the brigades.
There’s a hero inside of all of us.
I’ll make them see everyone has AIDS.
My father..AIDS! My sister…AIDS!
My uncle and my cousin and her best friend AIDS.
Gays, straights, whites and spades,
everyone has AIDS.
My grandma and my old dog Blue.
The Pope has got it and so do you.
Come on everybody we’ve got quiltin’ to do.
Gonna break down these barricades everyone has AIDS,
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS…
Did you know that the PLO once had a terrorist spy with access to the White House? Saed Farouk was a deliveryman for a Maryland Tropicana distributor, and hand-carried his frozen shipments into the building each week after driving the juice into D.C.
KoalaBear
Tip the wait staff, people
Yep, Everyone in Arkansas is sick of it, and sick of everyone pointing out that is a giant ugly double-wide.
It’s a disgusting joke, and I wouldn’t mind pushing it over myself.
Blogging is the next generation of the Internet. If you’ve got something to say that interests somebody else, by golly, then there you have it! It’s not about search engine rank or advertising, either. It’s about word-of-mouse, and presentation. More here
My first FIRST.
frank, you cheer me up when i get off work, and for that… i thank you..
Is somebody actually trying to claim that Michael Moore IS human?
And I think it would be a great idea to have weekly “awards” ceremonies, meetings, what-ever of all the rappers and their fans.
Maybe by the end of the year I won’t have to put up with my car thumping and vibrating at traffic lights.
Happy weekend, y’all!
yay ALIAS!!!! right after Lost! 2 JJ shows back to back, i don’t know what’s better!
except that i’ll watch them off Tivo and miss the commercials. 🙂
btw, you’re so funny.
I think that this would be the perfect place for “p-Diddy” Combs and his “vote or die” campaign. except it would be “vote and die” I guess.
it’s an unfair generalization to say all rappers are violent…. just the talented ones
A little more discretion on Dr. Rice’s organs, please. In the future, please use a phrase like, “visiting a Lady’s doctor” or “undegoing a sensitive feminine adjustment.”
Does this mean her and George will face a tear-filled, childless future? Is their relationship strong enough to survive this?
They’re taking an awful chance with that library design. Down in that part of the country, anything that even looks like a trailer or trailer park attracts tornadoes. A trailer that size would bring one hell of a tornado.
The cause of Arafat’s death:
The Salmon Mousse!
I believe Team America contains a song about how arafat died. It goes a little something like…
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!
Everyone has AIDS!
And so this is the end of our story
and everyone is dead from AIDS.
It took from me my best friend, my only
true pal, my only bright star.
Well, I’m gonna march on Washington,
lead the fight and charge the brigades.
There’s a hero inside of all of us.
I’ll make them see everyone has AIDS.
My father..AIDS! My sister…AIDS!
My uncle and my cousin and her best friend AIDS.
Gays, straights, whites and spades,
everyone has AIDS.
My grandma and my old dog Blue.
The Pope has got it and so do you.
Come on everybody we’ve got quiltin’ to do.
Gonna break down these barricades everyone has AIDS,
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS…
That reminds me: I miss the Ronin Thought of the Day.
Did you know that the PLO once had a terrorist spy with access to the White House? Saed Farouk was a deliveryman for a Maryland Tropicana distributor, and hand-carried his frozen shipments into the building each week after driving the juice into D.C.
KoalaBear
Tip the wait staff, people
how can you stand to be so funny? the Gates and Moore ones especially were great.
YAHOO my Birthday!
Re: Clinton’s library: first look at this picture, then look at this one. He didn’t get too far from his roots, now did he? LOL!!!!
Yep, Everyone in Arkansas is sick of it, and sick of everyone pointing out that is a giant ugly double-wide.
It’s a disgusting joke, and I wouldn’t mind pushing it over myself.
Blogging is the next generation of the Internet. If you’ve got something to say that interests somebody else, by golly, then there you have it! It’s not about search engine rank or advertising, either. It’s about word-of-mouse, and presentation. More here