O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation.
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And given the current times we live in the verse added during the Civil War seems appropriate.
When our land is illumined with Liberty’s smile,
If a foe from within strike a blow at her glory,
Down, down with the traitor that dares to defile
The flag of her stars and the page of her story!
By the millions unchained, who our birthright have gained,
We will keep her bright blazon forever unstained! And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
While the land of the free is the home of the brave.
well I’m not saying it’s because you remember a time before you had to say it was Aliens but… it’s because you remember a time before you had to say it was Aliens.
… know that politicians used to promise a home with a yard of your own, a car in every garage, and a chicken in every pot to get votes — rather than trying to ban them to get votes.
…when arriving at a social function with your wife, one of the privates announces, “Look, here comes Mother Nature and Father Time!” (Yes, true story. I had more time in the Army than the private had on Earth.)
…ever recited the Pledge of Allegiance.
actually memorized it before the “under God” was added. I remember being terrified that I would mess it up.
At the public school I attended, we said the Our Father along with the Pledge. The good old days.
And look how you turned out.
a bitter clinging deplorable!
Bible thumping?
…or knew all four verses to the Star Spangled Banner
We should sing the fourth verse much, much more.
O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation.
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And given the current times we live in the verse added during the Civil War seems appropriate.
When our land is illumined with Liberty’s smile,
If a foe from within strike a blow at her glory,
Down, down with the traitor that dares to defile
The flag of her stars and the page of her story!
By the millions unchained, who our birthright have gained,
We will keep her bright blazon forever unstained!
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
While the land of the free is the home of the brave.
…know where the church key is.
… know what a church key is…
…and didn’t know what a Mosque was.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
still like be considered an American.
…have a social security number with only three digits.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
well I’m not saying it’s because you remember a time before you had to say it was Aliens but… it’s because you remember a time before you had to say it was Aliens.
…think being “woke” involves an alarm clock.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
had to walk to school, in the snow, uphill, both ways.
…in bare feet while fending off vicious packs of hungry wolves.
After getting your morning chores done.
Which you had to get up an hour before you went to bed to start.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
still like John Wayne.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
think hard work was the way to get ahead in the world.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
think the only good commie is a dead commie and not someone you make Director of the CIA.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
post at IMAO.
I am skimming through this thread and just realized that I probably need to make an appointment with the mortician.
Or wish you could make an “appointment” with Morticia…
Isn’t your family supposed to do that?
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
pronounce it Basil and not Basil.
No, if you pronounce it Basil not Basil. Basil is the Brit pronunciation, Americans pronounce it Basil.
And who won that war?
…remember the Alamo, Pearl Harbor, and how to Lindy.
…just don’t understand why these kids are so smitten with Elvis and that newfangled rocking roll music fad.
These darn kids with their Hula-Hoops and their fax machines…
Fax machines? Was that what you call some fancy pants bike messengers?
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
lived through all of the references in “We Didn’t Start The Fire”
…or all the music in “Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)”
Bye Bye Miss American Pie
… have a hankerin’…
…knew where the dimmer switch was by the footfeet.
… remember Bernie Sanders as a young man…
might have to channel Christopher Columbus for that.
Even Bernie doesn’t remember Bernie as a young man.
That was back when he more readily declared himself a Commie.
Thought of an America hero, and not a recreational past time, as you passed the Bong Recreation area on I94 in Wisconsin.
…can do math on a slide rule… or own a CRC Handbook.
(looks to the left…) 1…2……..3….4… Man those things are dusty.
… know that politicians used to promise a home with a yard of your own, a car in every garage, and a chicken in every pot to get votes — rather than trying to ban them to get votes.
… “dialed” a phone number.
…and were on a party line.
and you didn’t need your butt to accidentally call someone.
Just to be drunk off it…
I still remember my old phone number although I haven’t called it since 2002.
A new member of the Harvey Order of the Decabacon!
Nice! A #1 in bacon.
Ah . . . turns out Basil created the imge of the Harvey Award. Bacon to him!
Or slammed a phone on someone
Or had to wait until someone else was off the phone, because the house had only one.
…when arriving at a social function with your wife, one of the privates announces, “Look, here comes Mother Nature and Father Time!” (Yes, true story. I had more time in the Army than the private had on Earth.)
You can still use that now, but the roles are reversed.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
remember a Democrat president advocating tax cuts or anything else pro-America
…can remember watching Fred on Channel One… and can remember the show he appeared on.
… flew a kite instead of a kite simulator.
… own the optional trombone barrel attachment for your AR-15.
They still make those?
Yeah, for some reason they still make AR-15s.
Not for long unless you get out and VOTE this November. The future is up to you!
AR-15 and old timely related: the AR turned 50 a few months ago. It now qualifies as a “curio and relic” for NFA purposes.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
you know what a 78 is.
I’ve been using my cellphone to record cylinders of Cal Stewart as “Uncle Josh” on my Amberola Model 75.
I think that the Library of Congress has a huge collection of 78s that they uploaded to the intertubes.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
know you who put up the first sign on the Moon.
Helen Keller.
Not seeing it.
Never heard that.
… adjusted the tin foil on the TV antennas.
and know the joys of UHF.
…wear a fake beard when you sing of your constant sorrow.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
Hear the William Tell Overture and immediately think of the Lone Ranger.
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
Can remember when Beany and Cecil actually were hand puppets.
I’m Gumby damnit!
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
remember TV had good shows with memorable intro songs.
… Lots of curves, you bet
Even more when you get
To the Junction.
Petticoat Junction.
I have the words to the theme for Hogan’s Heroes. It is on the Hogan’s Heroes sing WWII classics.
I Love Lucy had words to the theme song too, but only for the pilot.
Quick trivia quiz:
What shows airing on the 1960s had the premise or backstory of the show in the theme song?
Gilligan’s Island
Beverley Hillbillies.
Good job! You got the top 2 answers.
All of them.
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…”
“Come and listen to my story ‘bout a man named Jed…”
“Here’s the story, of a lovely lady…”
“A horse is a horse, of course, of course…”
“Meet Cathy who’s lived most everywhere…”
“Green Acres is the place to be…”
“The end of the Civil War was near when quite accidentally…”
“They’re creepy and they’re kookie…”
“Flinstones, meet the Flinstones…”
“Meet George Jetson, his boy Elroy…”
“Here we come, walkin’ down the street…”
“Daniel Boone was a man, yes a big man…”
“They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning…”
“If you’re in doubt about angels being real…”
“One Banana, Two Banana, Three Banana, Four…”
“It’s about time, it’s about space…”
“Dobie wants a little cutie…”
Well I can name all the shows.
Excellent! Add one more theme to your very impressive list.
“Everybody knows in a second life, we all come back sooner or later…” My Mother the Car
“Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can…”
But is that really a “Backstory”?
Listen on:
“Is he cool? Listen, bud
He’s got radioactive blood…”
Can he swing
from a thread?
Take a look
overhead.
Here comes the Spiderman.
Maybe, I just might have to give you that one. But then, maybe I won’t. Let me sleep on it, Baybee, Baybee. Let me sleep on it.
… learned to code on punch cards or paper tape…
Hollerith cards
Prithee rodney, wherefore dost thou hollerith “CARDS!”?
Any time I’m being dealt with.
…or entered a software patch via the dip switches on the computers front panel.
OK Chad.
… had a typewriter where you had to type a lower case L for the number 1.
… had a television that was made of maple, and also doubled as a dry bar.
Until you staggered and made it a wet bar…
…pull your pantaloons on one leg at a time.
…can remember when there were no hippies to punch.
We had to make do with punching beatnicks.
It does have a certain rhythm to it.
You Qualify As An Olde-Timey American If You…
…ever telephoned someone by dialing 4 numbers.
…can drive a stick shift.
…can tell time with an analog watch (no, not sundial, that makes you an old timey Roman)
Your phone number starts with letters.
ever actually had to prime a pump.
… remember that “choke” wasn’t something Homer did to Bart…
You qualify as an olde-timey American if you…
you struggled with the tuning knob to try and get the best picture from that weird pr0n station that you didn’t actually “Get”.
…wear a fake beard when you sing of your constant sorrow.
You soggy bottom boy.
It was before “Pampers”.
Had to chop down the trees and mill the lumber by hand, to build your large wooden badger.
…know the words to The Andy Griffith Show theme song.
…kinda miss party lines, the facebook of the 60s.
…still think you need to carry a dime, just in case you need to make a phone call on a pay phone. Come to think of it, if you ever used a pay phone.
You Qualify As An Olde-Timey American If You…
Remember when bringing a gun to school wasn’t a felony.
… just knew whenever a new commercial aired with Mr. Whipple, those new ladies were going to get busted squeezing the Charmin — and then he was!
… know what the ancient Chinese secret was.
… were able to say “that’s so gay!” without the world coming to an end.
… clapped erasers.
Stood for the anthem when the TV station ended it’s broadcast day
… went to school, or to a job, that did not have a Chief Diversity Officer.