Rep. Jamaal Bowman Lights Firecracker in Hand, Suffers From MAGA Racism

Lunges Towards Fire Extinguisher, Hits It With His Head, Says “I Didn’t Know Quite How It Worked”

School Principal for 10 Years

Fetterman Reportedly on the Scene. Hits Head on Fire Extinguisher.

6 Comments

  1. Jamaal: “No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of the caucus . I… I hadda hit the john. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. Fetterman’s suit didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone locked the door. There was an earthquake. The Republicans pounced . Locus. It wasn’t my fault. I swear to god!”

  2. “Today, as I was rushing to make a vote, I came to a door that is usually open for votes but today would not open.”

    https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/10/NYPICHPDPICT000053277926.jpg?resize=1024,768&quality=75&strip=all

    Maybe they should put up a sign.

    I’m not sure how to link a google street view image, but I’m staring at the door from the outside. It’s the northwest corner of the Cannon House office building. Clearly a fire exit only.

    https://www.google.com/maps/@38.887635,-77.0075717,3a,85.2y,188.45h,84.91t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s1LysWRiKD_ypgRHCAkRlpg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu

    That being said, how does this stop a vote in the house, which is a different building?

  3. Sometime in the future…

    President Jamaal Bowman: “I just left a huge deuce in the Oval Office bathroom, now how do I flush the toilet?”
    [Sees button labeled ‘LAUNCH NUKES’]
    “Ahh! There we go!”
    [Hilarity Ensues]

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