I was the first to vote for the IMAO podcast this month at podcast alley.
BTW, voting starts over each month and as it stands we are only 5 votes out of first place!!!
I’m sure you know where to go and what to do.
Will you be first to be second? Or first to be 116th? I’m dying to find out!!
Archive of entries posted by spacemonkey
C’mon People!
If you actually can’t tell who did the carnival of comedy this week, you haven’t been paying very much attention.
I’ll give some hints.
Hint#1: It was NOT ME.
Hint#2: Check out other posts on the front page for the same name.
But whoever did do it did a great job. Better than I usually do, that’s for [bleep] sure.
Another hint is below the fold
A spacemonkey Reaction To The Dub’s Speech
According to James OTB
What’s interesting is how many of the sites on my blogroll who’ve updated in the last two hours have no reaction to the speech at all.
So, to placate James (Are we even on his blogroll? Is he on ours?), Here’s my reaction to the the Dub’s speech. Dub, that’s what the Dub, sorry, the President lets his close personal constituency call him. He wouldn’t get upset if I told yo that either, that’s just Dub. Anyway, here’s my reaction.
Continue reading ‘A spacemonkey Reaction To The Dub’s Speech’ »
Carnival of Comedy Reminder
Its Tuesday, so that means it’s time to remind you to get ready for the CARNIVAL OF COMEDY version X. (that’s a Romanumeral for ten)
Some prepare by using meditation.
Some prepare by using medication.
Some just send in their entries before a second before midnight ET, while it is still a day called Wednesday.
ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!
There will be a surprise host/format this week unless he forgets to set his nickname back, in which case it will onl look like me hosting it with a different and surprising (read: EXCITING) format.
Questions about joining the Carnival O’ Comedy? Go here.
Would It Be Wrong?
*** Warning, The following post contains hardly any political references and little to no, actual humor***
Would it be wrong for me to claim IMAO.US on blogshares?
Reasons I think it would be ok.
* Because I can. It’s not my fault Frank J. entrusted me with the keys to the kingdom, well to post anyway. I am an opportunist from day one.
*It has been 
since Mar 13, 2003. In blog years that’s like forever. What’s he waiting on? A Democrat controlled congress?
*The owner awarded bog-shares are worth over 2 million Blogshare Dollars. Which is some pretty tempting bait. With that kind of fake money, I could really buy some awesome, well… other… fake… blogshare… type… stuff.
*It’s not real money so it wouldn’t really be stealing for me to make a claim since Frank J seems to have no real interest in the fake stockmarket for fake blogshares?
*Because I did. This post was just a way to get the logo for my claim put on the front page of the blog long enough for my claim stake to be, ah, staked. Buwuahahaha.
Feedback would be appreciated it, even if I actually don’t heed it or pay any mind to it. In fact, I may actually mock you.
Flag Burning Amendment Amendments
I am against the Flag Burning Amendment. I, having not actually read the text of it, presume it will merely make state laws which criminalize flag burning, stand against Supreme Court shenanigans.
I want it to be known I am against flag burning, of course. I just think that there may possibly be ways that the Constitution could be amended specifically to allow flag burning as an expansion of the first amendment expression of free speech, provisionally. Flagburners should never have to fear the government during or after the burning of an American flag, provisionally. I’ve said “provisionally” twice now so hopefully you know there are provisions and I am not completely off the deep end.
If some other changes are made as well to the amendment I could accept it. If it were amended to, say, expand the first amendment a little in other ways and while we are at it tweak some other popular amendments as well.
The Right to Freedom of the Press. – First Amendment
Americans should be protected if they want to put flagburners in a large metal press, the kind that Sarah Connor terminated the first terminator with in the movie Terminator. They should also be allowed to operate the metal press in as slow a manner as they wish as free expression of this.
The Right To Bear Arms. – Second Amendment
I’m not talking about shooting flagburners, that’s waaaaay too quick for them. Bear arms, attached to a living, preferably hungry, bear, should be employed to hug flagburners in the gentle embrace that only a wild bear can give. Any ripping, shredding or disemboweling the bear arms do should be covered and protected under the amendment.
The Right to Peacefully Assemble – First Amendment Again
This right should be expanded to include piece-by-piece disassembly of flagburners. Say, like, with an array of farm implements, some dull, some sharp. We could mix it up so it doesn’t get boring. Boredom can be pure torture, ask any Gitmo detainee.
The Right To Not Face Double Jeopardy. – Seventh Amendment
If an American is unsuccessful at expressing any one of these rights to their personal satisfaction, they should be able to express any of the other newly expanded rights listed here until the flagburner faces, what we can call Eternal Jeopardy.
The Right to Freedom of Expression – First Amendment One Final Time
An American should be allowed to exercise his/her freedom of expression by burning an American flag BURNER during or after the actual flagburning. I would recommend during, since that practically begs for the use of gasoline-filled balloons.
Then flagburners will never again have to fear a viscious facsist American government when they exercise their new constitutional right.
They will just have to fear people like me and maybe, you.
Let’s do our best to make flagburning legal, unsafe and flagburners somewhere between rare and medium well.
3^2-th Carnival of Comedy
Welcome to The 3^2-th Carnival of Comedy
Short intro this week and yes I know the carnival is later than advertised. And for good reason. What is the good reason? Exactly.
We are asking for constructive criticism on the entries this week, so I numbered the entries to make it simpler to reference the ones you are giving the critique of.
The object here is NOT TO CRITICIZE SPACEMONKEY. Simply put, I can’t take it. I can however, dish it out.
Constructive criticism is what we are looking for here.
If you as a submitter to the carnival don’t want to read criticism of your work, don’t read the comments.
If you as a reader love an entry, comment in both places assuming they have comments.
Surf with care this week as I have not previewed all the posts for content. There may be some profanities or vulgarities might encounter that there are no warnings about. I wanted to review them for the first time after posting the Carnival.
Ok short intro got long. Several multiple submissions this week. On with the Carnival of Comedy #3^2 i.e. 9. Now with more and improved reader feedback!
1) Dana at Northshore Politics says criminals need to just Curl up and dye She submitted it twice for good measure.
2) Loren Kohl at Almanac of the Mundane presents a news satire piece, Darwinists agree to end evolution
3) Bill C at Brain Droppings presents The Boy hunt continues….
4) Gullyborg at Resistance is futile! presents The Montana Free Zone
5) a4g at Point Five presents Bush to Unveil New “Border Defense” Policy
6) Mama Duck at Texas Ducks presents Holy Crap or “She’s Pooping the Distance!”
7) Ironman at Political Calculations presents Differences Between You and Your Boss
8) Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate[net] presents I’m a Genius
9a) Holly Aho at Soldiers’ Angel – Holly Aho presents The 101 Things E-4 Skippy Can’t Do While in the Army and
9b) The Woman Who Stole a Dead Cat
11) Peemil at Where are my socks? presents What to do if the television eats you and puts you in a porno movie.[adult themes and artwork]
12) Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony’s presents A Softer Side Of Phat
13) Jason Pomerantz at Fiddle and Burn: A Daily Comic Strip in Prose presents Jesus vs. Superman
14a) David at satire presents Larry King, Serial husband, monogamous Polygamist and the joys of multiple fatherhood [Images Probably Not Work Safe] and
14b) Michael Jackson Wins 4 Official and 1 Unofficial Oscar Verdicts (Part 1) [Images Probably Not Work Safe] David, only these two entries had valid urls, sorry.
15a) Damian G. at Conservathink presents Obviousman couldn’t have said it better and
16) Mustang 23 at Assumption of Command presents What is the Most Humid place in Iraq?
17) Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents “Shecky” Muhammad Opens Up Israeli Tour
18) alsocanadian at IAM(also)CANADIAN presents You Might Be A Jedi CANADIAN If…
19) Jim McCarthy at Letter From California presents Rock of Old Ages
20) bob at either orr presents The Khadr Family
21) Doc Rampage at Doc Rampage presents a sewing machine I actually want
22) The Man at GOP and the City presents Fox Outsources “24” To India
23) Pamela at Atlas Shrugs presents Contrary to whatever you’ve heard, He’s not my boyfriend
24) The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents Assassination Attempt Against Michael Moore Fails
25) Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God presents Gitmo & Aruba: A Tale of Two Resorts
26) David Brazeal at Horn+Swoggled presents Lakewood Launches Scientology Takeover Bid
27) Big Picture Guy at Big Picture, Small Office presents Throne for a Loop
28) Weisshaupt at Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast presents Liberals and Star Trek
29) Editor at Editors in Pajamas presents Statement
30) Mark A. Rayner at The Skwib presents The Lost PowerPoint Slides (#4)
31) Urthshu at Urthshu presents LGF Parody
32) John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents One year of blogging
33a) Clupbert at Extra Strength Boredom Relief presents Northern Ireland Still Bored and
33b) baseball game rules
34) Stephen Feher at 411Mania – Politics presents The Weekly Monitor – 06-17-2005
35) Two Dogs at Mean Ol’ Meany presents Dr. Akeith Responds
36) Will Franklin at WILLisms.com presents Creative Taxidermy.
37) Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents Reviews of Movies I Have Not Seen Based Solely on Their Title:
38) jimmyb at The Conservative UAW Guy presents Durbin the [bleep]. Oops, I Mean Dick Durbin.
39) Kit Jarrell at Euphoric Reality presents The Time-Life Album That Never Quite Got Released
Thanks for taking part in the 9th Carnival of Comedy. Your comments welcome.
Info on entering the Carnival of Comedy can be found here.
Carnival of Comedy Reminder
There’s a comedy carnival coming to town.
But are you part of it?
Will you be one of the people who say
Well, you can’t blame me for not telling you!
Or you might be one of the people who are afraid to enter because you think you aren’t funny. You are probably right. You probably suck.
Well, you might suck. But enter anyway. This time I think we should have an open discussion about the quality of the entries.
Not just “that post sucked” or “that post was great”, but real advice on what could be done to improve an entry. Perhaps you feel an entry was too funny and you think you need some form of compensation for your sides splitting open, which parts you are alleging to be comedicly injurious to you.
People like feedback and seeing that many comedy writers are, in fact, people or at the very least know people, this is something some of them might appreciate.
Tell us. We can take it, we’re like grown-ups and stuff. Some of us anyway.
So I dare you to enter the Carnival of Comedy.. I dare you.
Chicken. Yellow. Skeeerdycat.
Ok, This Is Different
Here’s a pregnant DUDE.
I wonder if he knows who the mother is.
Update: This could be a bunch of hooey.
Update2: Or a hoax.
Update3: Or made up
Carnival Of Comedy #Hate 8
Ok maybe I’ve got a bad attitude. Maybe, it’s the afteraffects of getting tranq’d, I dunno but I got a little snarky this week. So, if I hurt anybody’s feelings, please, tell me about it in the comments.
No, I don’t particularly care, I just want to know.
On to the Carnival. The 8th Carnival Of Comedy. Now with attitude!
If you are one of those happy folk that think using a single silly phrase repeatedly is high comedy then you are in for a treat and are going to frickin’ LOVE The Evil Emperor Mindstation Goes To Washington
Do not disturb the Yogurt Tipper says the gravelly geezer – Saintly behavior in our time.
A Obama bin Yeaaarhg-in Caption Contest
Doc Rampage (man that graphic at the top is big) says Technogrexual’s are really technoweenies
If you are put off by Joel Osteen’s ‘feel good’ religion you’ll like to know about the Jesus Seminar II
Personally, I believe this is just a blatant ripoff of “The Meat Market Manager and the Maroon Mittens”. Maybe not, but, if you think stories about green gloves and grocers(hey that’s alliteration!) are hilarious, put your drinks away when you read The Grocer and the Green Gloves.
This is kind of vulgar but at least its short, hah! you’ll get it after reading Grexual healing or maybe my comment just wasn’t funny.
Outrageous! – ACLU Condemns “Cruel & Unusual” plumbing at Gitmo.
Pictures and Words, together! And the kicker is the words are about the pictures! The Weekly Monitor – 6/10/2005 Actually rather funny. And don’t mean that in a Dan Rather kind of way.
Some people need to just Tone It Down at work.
I’d quess a lot of cattle farmers wished this was accurate. – Cows 4 Sale.
I’l let it speak for itself. New Anorexia Cure Touted, Pizza Futures Soar.
Typical mail – B-Cack Goes Postal.
An army of TWO. – Massive Commie/Hippie Invasion Halted in Small Town, Jesusland .
Bad teeth from a bad habit – That Is So NOT Fabulous.
I can’t Gitmo, though I try…
Read the Gratuitous Cajun Joke or maybe it was a jeauxke.
Jim deserves an award for this Trophy Inflation post. Shoot, you guys all deserve one.
Gooood advice from Phin with Things every man should know. You listening, Frank J?
Citizen Grim is a visionary and also a, whats the word for someone who see what’s not here, now? anyway here is: Bush’s Poll Numbers Directly Tied to Lack of Initiative on Flying Cars
Drop out now! be agGazzillonaire like me! IGuru (Steve Jobs) Began His iCampus Crusade
A aromatic tale starring stinky cheese, Instapungent. And his entry has no profanity this time, how ’bout that Ellison?!
Hmmmm. Late Night Thoughts
Jacko is backo. Michael Jackson and NAMBLA Jointly Celebrate Victory
Future history is so yestermorrow: The War of 2007
I hate the title. Michael Jackson Gets Off!
High-Tech Chairs
Dean: Republikans are all white criminals I know I’m one.
Breaking News: Zombie Fatty Arbuckle Attacking Neverland Ranch
100 percent pre… – ok now, I’m confused. I Don’t Get It Who does?
[Language, Grexual Storm/Scout Trooper Photo.]Wilbanks Book Deals
Those who are soon to be parents, we salute you!
Caption the monkey. Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 10.
Hooray! The First! Official Gay-List! I edited his title. See if you can figure out what I did.
Ground Control, Where is Kim Yong? Answer? he’s il.
That does it for this week. Thanks for playing, reading, linking, laughing and putting up.
Again compliments on the carnival are welcome in the comments.
Suggestions for making the Carnival better and recommendations for where to stick/shove/[bleep] the Carnival will be tolerated in the comments but snarked at as deemed appropriate.
Next week’s Carnival of Comedy will be here again. Yay!
Questions on joining are answered here.
Update: Now with Instalanch-edness
It’s Under Construction
The Carnival is under construction, after being off for two weeks I am an idiot.
That’s right, you heard me, the vacation didn’t change anything.
Anyway, it will be up (why do we always say ‘up’?) sometime while it is still the day called Thursday.
Sorry, I know how everyone plans their Thursdays around the Carnival Of Comedy now that Friend was canceled but that’s just the way it is. Sorry.
Relax It Wasn’t Me
Space Monkey Seized
Though, when I first read the headline, I’ll admit I was a bit disoriented. I didn’t recall being seized. What was going on here? Was I taken by surprise by some cowardly animal control agents?
I assumed maybe, I’d been tranq’ed which might explain my not remembering. But when I finally realized I wasn’t groggy, my suroundings were familar. And I finished reading the rest of the article it dawned on me,
I was safe,
at least,
for now.
Thanks to Ed Flinn at Monkey Watch for the heads up.
Don’t Forget Carnival of Heh-fulness!
Don’t forget the next Carnival of Comedy is coming up Thursday! Spacemonkey(I) is(am) hosting this week. Hey! You actually were forgetting about the carnival weren’t you? Don’t try to deny it. I can sense these things. Oh yes, it’s true.
Oh yeah, I think I’m going to treat this weeks entries like a Bonfire. Because no matter how good they are they can’t measure up to IMAO level funnyousity. Well, pre-group-blog IMAO anyway. And I can snark. I can be snarky, a snarky monkey.
And a big thanks to Harvey!
While I was at the beach last week getting my neck re-redded, you did a fine job on the carnival. Why, your insta-inspired Carnival of Comedy#7 with punchy, brief descriptions (some were one word or less!) impressed his blenderness into linking to it for the… what? He didn’t link? Oh well, you did a fine job, anyway Harvey.
Indeed.
I read the whole thing.
Heh.
Want more info about the carnival? Go here.
Getting The Word Out!
A silly dressed man is out spreading the Democratic message ala Governer-Doctor-Loser Howard Dean. I know you’re probably thinking he’s spreading, um, something smelly, but no it’s not any sort of animal leavings.
Click the link if you like, but please, do yourself a favor and check your volume before you click this here link.
ht: My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
Vote Or The IMAO Goon Squad Will Get You
Remember, when I asked nicely for you to vote for the iMao podcast at podcast alley?
Now I must warn you vote at podcast alley or the IMAO goon squad will get you.
Is there really an IMAO goon squad? I wouldn’t take the chance if I were you, Mr or Miss (as the case may be) slacker-who-hasn’t-yet-voted-for-the-iMao-podcast.
Do yourself a favor, vote. Before I hyphenate again, vote.
Vote while you’ve still got some unbroken fingers.
Capiche? Do it. Vote.