Welcome to IMAO! Nope, the Moon’s Still There

Moon Nukers Assemble!

The question is, what ent wrong?

All Prescient and Accounted For

Q: Will Bob B, Burt, and Tankdemon receive some kind of “Karmalak the Magnificent” Award for these predictions?

A: Well, that depends: would it cost more money than a nameplate? And, of course, it’d have to be adjusted for inflation…

Straight Line: If Joe Biden Runs for President, His Running Mate…

Bob B, Oct. 8, 2015:

…will have to be clean, articulate, and speak with “a slight Indian accent”…

.

Burt, Oct. 8, 2015:

…will be the cringing possessor of the shortest straw.

.

Straight Line: If Joe Biden Wins the Democrat Nomination His Running Mate Will Be…

Tankdemon, Sept. 19, 2019

…studying the actuarial tables.

…somebody with terrific smelling hair.

…chosen because xe is able to immediately take over the duties of Commander-in-Chief and not because xe checks off at least three boxes on the Democrat victim hierarchy.

Any of You Missing a Delivery?

Florida Airport Is Evacuated After Live French S-530 Air-to-Air MISSILE Is Found in a Shipping Container – and Air Force Bomb Squad Are Called To Remove It
The Daily Mail (U.K.) | Aug 18 2020 | James Gordon

A contractor who was working at a Florida airport opened up a container to find a live missile.

The shocking find happened on Friday afternoon at Lakeland Linder International Airport east of Tampa.

It’s not known how the missile arrived at the airport which is mainly used for private jets and no longer for any kind of military use.

Penne For Your Thoughts

There’ll be no actual pasta, but on your deathbed you may receive total enlightenment.

Have ideas for future Straight Lines of the Day?

Moon Nuker Art

4of7 [High Praise!] sent me a couple of his drawings. Good stuff – they’ll keep your brain busy for a while:

Click to enlarge:

If you look closely at the bottom picture, you’ll notice he included “IMAO” in the design near the top (and also upside down near the bottom, since the image is symmetrical).

What Is The Bacon Salute?

Taking this completely out of context, Crabby Old Bat [High Praise!] left a comment reading in part:

on Hogan’s Heroes, Col. Klink was usually shown unenthusiastically responding to “Heil Hitler!” with a monotone, muttered, limp-wristed, dismissive wave of a “Heil . . . Hitler” of his own.

Now here in America, we tend to use hand gestures that are more patriotic and less genocidal, like military hand salutes and placing your hand over your heart.

Which made me wonder… what would be the appropriate hand gesture to make while saying “Bacon to you!” (as you thoughtful and supportive Moon Nukers are wont to do to one another)?

Offhand I’m thinking hand held up in front of you, with thumb and forefinger pressed firmly together as if you were hold a strip of crisp bacon between the digits. Sorta like this:

However, I’m still open to suggestions. Fire away.

_______________

UPDATE: In the comments, Dohtimes [High Praise!] suggests using ~ as shorthand for “bacon”. ~ to him for the idea.

As With Most Problems, I Believe the Solution to This Is Bacon

As discussed earlier, I think Moon Nukers need a special catch phrase to compliment each other.

After mulling over the responses, I’m going to suggest that that phrase be “Bacon”.

It’s short, it’s simple, it’s delicious, and it represents everything that is good and right in the world.

Example usages:

_______________

“That was hilarious, [Moon Nuker’s name]! Bacon to you!”

“Your comment was pure bacon!”

“Positively bacon-worthy!”

“The baconest thing I’ve ever read!”

_______________

As for capitalization and exclamation points, those can be added at your own discretion, as can modifiers specifying quantities of bacon, such as strips, sides, or a smokehouseful.

Bacon to Jimmy, zzyzx, Apostic, Crabby Old Bat, Steve, and 4of7 for being the first Nukers to get onboard the Bacon Train.

Now, if Laurence Simon or someone of equivalent Jewishness does something bacon-worthy, I suppose we could just give them the cash equivalent of bacon. Jews still like money, right? That’s what my “Stereotypes Handbook” says. Speaking of which, you should probably do the same thing for Scotsmen.

Also, if any comment trolls pop in to complain about one thing or another, tell them to just Rub Some Bacon On It.

How to Honor a Fellow Moon Nuker

In the comments to the Straight Line of the Day about Nancy Pelosi, Suicidal Idiot said:

BEST FILL IN THE QUOTES EVER! I nominate High Praise for everybody.

And I realized there’s a problem at IMAO.

Only Frank J. and his many assorted alternate personalities (or “co-bloggers” as we like to call ourselves) have the power to bestow High Praise! because, well, you guys just aren’t cool enough.

Still, it does seem unfair that Moon Nukers have no generally-agreed-upon phrase to pay tribute to their peers who perform well.

Because Suicidal Idiot was right, the Nancy Pelosi collection IS absolute weapons-grade funny.

So, I’m looking for some input from you guys.

What should Moon Nukers say to honor each other?

Possible suggestions:
______________

“Elevated Accolades!”

“High .45!”

“Peace Prize!” (since Obama got one for doing nothing, it is now officially less valuable than getting “High Praise!” from IMAO)
______________

Pick one of those or come up with your own in the comments, please.

Moon Nuker Biker Gang Member Spotted in Iowa

That would be Iowa Jim [High Praise!], who may be a touch fuzzy on the concept of “biker”. And “gang”:

But at least he knows how to look good.

Who Is the Oldest Moon Nuker?

In response to Frank [Happy Birthday Week!] confessing that he’s but a wet-behind-the-ears pup born in 1979, Moon Nuker 4of7 [High Praise!] asks:

Who is the oldest Moon Nuker?

Not by age, but by the number of Presidents you’ve lived under?

I’ll start: Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, and the current occupant.

I can’t compete with that. I didn’t pop out until Johnson. My mom says I used to cry a lot back in those days. Probably because we had a Democrat President.

What about you guys?

UPDATE: While we’re at it, who’s the youngest pup in this here pound?

Moon Nukers Sister Club: The Large Soda Outlaws

Re-size & share as you see fit.

[Moon Nukers reference link]

[New York soda law reference link]

Moon Nukers’ Enemies List: The View Grrls

Based on a suggestion by hwuu [High Praise!]

So… who else are the Moon Nukers ready to rumble with?

Time to Pick a Fight

Ok, Moon Nukers, you’ve got your colors and you’re feeling all juiced up, so obviously it’s time to ride into someone else’s territory and pick a fight.

You know, just because we can.

Trouble is, we need a rival gang to be our enemy.

So… who needs a whuppin’?

I mean, obviously the Dog Eaters

but who else?

MOON NUKERS: The IMAO Blogger Gang

[High Praise! to Sharky]

After carefully considering your input, I’m gonna go with Sharky’s suggestion of “Moon Nukers”.

Through all the long (nearly 10 years) history of IMAO, the Nuke the Moon logo has always been featured prominently, and best symbolizes the peace-loving nature of this site, so it seems most appropriate.

Also, it shortens down nicely to “Nukers”, which sounds pretty bad-ass in itself.

Can’t say “Nukas”, though, because that sounds kinda… fissionist.

Anyway, I whipped you up some colors so you can go around threatening rival blog gangs like the Huff Posters, Kossacks, and Puppy Blenders:

Also, a smaller version that you can put on your blog/website/Facebook page:

Various & sundry Moon Nukers gear is available at the IMAO store. Sadly, having it on the back of a leather jacket is not a CafePress option, so you’ll just have to wear your t-shirt backwards or something.

Oh, and to clarify, the Moon Nukers isn’t a “club”. It’s a gang. Clubs are for baby seals.

UPDATE: I recently realized that CafePress DOES offer a “print on the back option”, so I added some back-printed t-shirts to the Moon Nukers section (first 9 items).