Angry White Guy Party?
“Republican” Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina says that the GOP will not be “the party of the angry white guys.”
As an angry white guy, I feel both hurt and disenfranchised.
So, to challenge this Republican exclusionaryismness, I say we form the Angry White Guy Party.
Now, I know that no third party has actually done squat since the Republicans took out the Whigs in 1856, but I think that if we got a few celebrities on board, we might stand a chance. Here’s my list of potential candidates:
Jack Bauer
Campaign slogan: “I have killed two people since midnight, I haven’t slept in over 24 hours. So maybe… maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.”
Snake Plissken
Campaign slogan: “When I get back, I’m going to kill you.”
Master Chief
Campaign slogan: “I was gonna shoot my way out. Mix things up a little.”
Martin Riggs
Campaign slogan: “You think I’m crazy? You call me crazy, you think I’m crazy? You wanna see crazy?”
John McClane
Campaign slogan: “Yippee-ki-yay”
Indiana Jones
Campaign slogan: “Never bring a knife to a gunfight.”
John Rambo
Campaign slogan: “Nothing is over!”
James Braddock
Campaign slogan: “You really didn’t think I’d leave… without making sure you were dead?”
Harry Callahan
Campaign slogan: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
Duke Nukem
Campaign slogan: “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum… and I’m all outta gum.”
Xander Cage
Campaign slogan: “Have you ever been punched in the face for talking too much?”
Chris
Campaign slogan: “It’s ok, MSNBC says I’m white”
Anyone else we should try to get involved? Please include a campaign slogan, if possible.
(25 votes, average: 4.96 out of 5)
Loading ...
October 15th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
The Angry White Party Guy:
John Belushi on spilled beer: “Ahoooohohhhaaoaoohhhoaoa!”
Oh, The Angry White Guy Party. Sorry.
Ronald Reagan: “I’m paying for this microphone!”
(I have bad movie memory, Harvey.)
October 15th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Walt Kowalski: “Hey you punks, get off my (White House) lawn”
October 15th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
William Foster – “Falling Down” – definately needs to be in the AWGP!
October 15th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Bill Foster (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106856/)
“You have a choice. I can kill you. Or you can kill me, and my daughter will get the insurance. “
October 15th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Damn you John for beating me to it! *shakes fist like an Angry White Guy*
October 15th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Joe Hallenbeck – The Last Boy Scout – The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fuck?
October 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Korben Dallas
Campaign Slogan: Anybody else want to negotiate?
October 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Clint Eastwood as himself:
October 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Coach Bobby Knight;Slogan: My Critics Can Kiss My Ass
October 15th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Captain Malcolm Reynolds
Campaign Slogan: I aim to misbehave.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
John Bernard Books (The Shootist)
Campaign Slogan: I won’t be wronged. I won’t be insulted. I won’t be laid a-hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
An angry white guy party is great, as long as we get to be rid of linseed graham, ron paul, voinivich, and mccain
AND! as long as we get to keep Michille Malkin and Heather Locklear!
October 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Col. Nathan Jessep (A Few Good Men); Slogan: You Can’t Handle The Truth!
October 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
John Wayne: I’m not gonna hit ya. The hell I’m not!
October 15th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Fred Thompson. Slogan: “I’m Fred Thompson.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Plenty, that’s a fine quote for the Duke. But I think the following is more appropriate.
“You can’t give the enemy a break. Send him to Hell.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
AND! as long as we get to keep Michille Malkin and Heather Locklear!
So does this mean that all conservative babes are welcome in the AWG party, or are we just the beer-serving wenches?
For the way they treated her, I’d still love to see Sarah Palin give the one-digit salute to the Republican party and run as a Constitutional Party or even a T. E. A. party candidate. Considering that a majority of Americans are fed up with both Dems and Reps, and love her, I think she could pull off an epic win. But that’s just me, she knows what she’s doing. /justsayin
October 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Elmer Fudd
Campaign Slogan: I’m gonna get that wascally wabbit!
(OK, so he’s a moderate)
October 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Bear Claw Chris Lapp. Kin to the grizzer that bit Jim Bridger on the a$$.
October 15th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Of course…who else is gonna keep the place clean?
[ quickly ducks ]
October 15th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Campaign Slogan:
Jed Eckert – Red Dawn – Because WE *LIVE* HERE!
Guiding Principles (from Transporter 1 &2):
Frank Martin: Rule #1. Never change the deal.
Frank Martin: You know my fourth rule? Never make a promise you can’t keep.
October 15th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
William Wallace. Slogan: “Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
General George S. Patton. Slogan: “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
James Brian Hellwig(Ultimate Warrior);Slogan: Queering doesn’t make the world work
October 15th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Joe Biden. Slogan: “I think the world works a little bit better when we’re drunk.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Red Forman (That 70′s Show)
Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
or
I’ve got two stages: anger, and drinking.
October 15th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Arya Stark: “I’m going to stab you in your stupid head!”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Marion Cobretti. Slogan: “You’re a disease – and I’m the cure.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Marion Cobretti. Slogan: “Know what’s bad for your health? Me.”
October 15th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Rick Blaine. Slogan, in response to the Ugarti’s question, “You despise me, Rick, don’t you?” – “Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would.” (quotes may not be exact)
October 15th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
The Incredible Hulk- Slogan: “Hulk Smash!”
Animal from the Muppet Movies- “Woman! Woman! Woman!”
George Washington- “Anyone showing cowardice will be shot on site.” (maybe not in these exact words, but that was his policy.)
October 15th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
So republicans are the party of Keith Oberman, David Letterman, Bill Ayers, Ward Churchilll…etc.?
Better rethink that, Senator.
October 15th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Glad to hear us babes are still welcome…even if we’re slingin’ beer and cleanin’ up the place. Just be careful what you ask of us, cuz although you are AWG, we are AWB with wacky hormones and firearms…. just sayin’
October 15th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Chuck Norris- “People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply…Chuck Norris”
October 15th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
You mean this party is for white people only? You’re all racists!
October 15th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
The machine-gunner from Full Metal Jacket.
Joker: “How do you kill women and children?”
Gunner: “Easy. You just don’t lead ‘em as much.”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
God: …”Vengence is mine, I will repay.” saith the Lord. – Romans 12:19
October 15th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
GySgt Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Slogan: just about any one of his lines should work.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I just love the word “exclusionaryismness”. There seems to be a lot of that going around these days (like since Jan. 20 of this year).
October 15th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
FormerHostage says:
Elmer Fudd
Campaign Slogan: I’m gonna get that wascally wabbit!
Change it to: I’m gonna get that wascally Wahhabist. That will bring the focus back on Bin Laden.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Jayne Cobb from Firefly. Slogans: “Pain is scary” and “Let’s be bad guys”
I think you’ll have to let Vera in the party too.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Wasn’t it George Nada (Roddy Piper’s character from 1998′s They Live) that said, “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum?”
October 15th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Basil – yes. Duke is chock full of pop-culture references. That one just seemed the most appropriate.
Patel – I salute your obscenely in-depth knowledge of Firefly trivia.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
I’m guessing I should have played me some Duke Nukem, then, huh? I might would’ve enjoyed it.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
That’s one of the few Duke one-liners that’s safe for this site, methinks. Man looks like an action hero but talks like a sailor.
October 16th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Swamper: I may be an Army vet, but I do know some sailors that are real action heroes. So, it seems Duke is appropriate after all.
October 16th, 2009 at 2:37 am
Gunnery Sgt. Highway and Gunnery Sgt. Hartman because the Angry white man party is looking for a few good angry white men.
October 16th, 2009 at 10:58 am
I am somewhat offended by Graham’s “Angry White Man Party”. I’m an Angry White Female (AWF) and I want to party too.
Ripley in Alien:
Ripley: Final report of the United States of America, last free citizen reporting. The other freedom loving citizens of the country, are as good as dead. Freedom and Liberty destroyed. I wish I could find a frontier. With my luck, the Libs will pick me up. This is Ripley, last survivor of the US, signing off.
Mr and Mrs. Smith
Jane Smith: Wait, why do I get the girl gun?
Undercover Blues:
When it absolutely has to be done right:
“Jeff Blue: Ted, Jane’s an expert in martial arts even I can’t pronounce. She can kill you seven different ways without using her hands. Do what she says. ”
We girls are just as angry and most of us PMS monthly so ……………..get your tired, wimpy, socialist, entitled, greedy, cowardly keester out my way, white boy. Crawl back under your rock, if the folks in South Carolina will even let you in.
“The AWF ‘s ‘n da hous.”
October 16th, 2009 at 11:33 am
i’m white. i vote. and i’m pissed.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:54 am
All conservative women are babes! And always welcome, especially when they are armed.
They always understand when were angry, and always have beer to sooth the nuckles after punching hippies all day.
October 16th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Popeye the sailorman…That’s all I can stands ’cause I can’t stands no more.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:49 am
“The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”
- Rudyard Kipling, 1911.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Oops.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I can’t believe you all forgot Ted Nugent, The Motor City Madman.