Archive of entries posted on 29th October 2009

Why Has Science! Let Us Down?

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Caleb Howe has an article, in light of recent work to get back to the moon, asking what’s happened to all the things Science! has promised us, like jetpacks and robots. Well, Science! is a fickle master that is easily insulted. Each day someone disputes evolution is another day Science! denies us jetpacks and laser rifles. We must give unquestioning loyalty to all the tenets of Science! or it may even punish us with something scientific like an asteroid or a supernova. Or maybe even just a regular nova. Science! also doesn’t like the Harry Potter or Twilight series as they are quite unscientific. Lay those books at its altar (a lab table) and burn them, and Science! may grant you knowledge.

You can have a robot friend and fly around with him in your jetpack, but only if you convince Science! that you are worthy.

2D Village

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What’s up with this?

So an artist come by and says, “Hey, man, I want to paint circles on your houses to make them look 2D!”

And I’d say, “For what possible purpose?”

And the artist would say, “It’s art, man. Art is its own purpose.”

And I’d say, “Here’s some art.” Then I’d punch him in the face. “Now your face looks like a cubist painting. Get a real job, hippie.”

And he’d say, “Ahhhhhhh!”

Actually, it is kind of neat looking.

Random Thoughts

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I know we signed some agreement that the moon is the property of the whole world, but we can still landmine it, right?

I wonder if in the President’s busy schedule he’s remembered to test the smoke detectors. Canada could always attack again.

Joe Lieberman does look a lot like Emperor Palpatine, but the lightning he fires from his fingertips is a completely different color.

How could Obama be sexist? He doesn’t even seem quite aware of the fact that he’s a man.

Were dunce caps a real thing? And did it work on teaching kids not to be stupid?

People who say “teabagger” will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes. And then they’ll get pegged with a tennis ball.

When the revolution comes, we’ll consider letting liberals in our new country, but they’ll first have to do the truffle shuffle.

The public option would be analogous to the Trojan Horse if you could hear Greeks in it loudly saying, “I can’t wait to kill Trojans!”

Someone explain to me how hundreds-of-years-old vampires going after seventeen-year-old girls is anything other than intensely creepy.

I stopped reading Highlights because of the liberal bias in its reporting. Once in the “What’s Wrong” picture they had two men getting married and a Bible in a school. Guess which one you were supposed to circle.

Did Microsoft test IE 8 on any websites before releasing it?