Archive of entries posted on 5th October 2009
Obama is so useless and incompetent as president that…
Top Ten Ways to Make the Obama Presidency Survivable
I’m still mad about my last column. A lot of people thought it was my funniest one yet, but a couple hours after it was published, Chicago was the first city eliminated by the Olympics committee which rendered my column pointless. I just assumed that if Obama was traipsing all the way to Copenhagen that he had the Olympics in the bag, and I am once again left surprised and disappointed in how utterly incompetent and useless he is. If he actually did get a bucket stuck on his head before a big meeting with heads of state, it wouldn’t be the dumbest thing he’s ever done.
Still, we’re stuck with Obama until at least 2013, so we need to at least get him competent enough to not get us nuked. So here are some idea to at least make those years survivable:
TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE THE OBAMA PRESIDENCY SURVIVABLE
10. Get Obama a Presidency for Dummies book.
9. Have Disney’s animatronic Obama from the Hall of Presidents and the real Obama switch places.
8. Have Obama watch seasons of 24 on DVD to see how America’s first black president, President Palmer, did it.
7. Every time Obama stands up to an enemy of America, he gets a cookie.
6. Make Obama half-cyborg for intimidation value.
5. Get Obama the father figure he never had: Chuck Norris.
4. Pull a feather off a crow and tell Obama to wear it in his hair at all times as it’s the magical feather of leadership (may also give Obama the confidence to fly with his oversized ears).
3. Get him a more butch looking teleprompter.
2. Tell him he’s not allowed to appear on TV again until he actually accomplishes something.
And the number one way to make the Obama presidency survivable…
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Random Thoughts
It just shows what a mystique Obama has that even I keep getting tricked into thinking he has basic competence.
At some point I have to switch from making fun of Obama to being angry at the IOC for making our president look like a jackass.
It’s nice to know the international community can make our president dance for their amusement.
All problems would be solved by ending religion. Badgers and cougars don’t have religion, and I’ve never heard of them embezzling.
Don’t worry about Obama; he’s got years to figure this job out.
Did I see it in the paper? Might as well ask if I’ve seen it painted on the cave wall.
For the record, you can’t complain about Glenn Beck and then prop up a loud moron like Alan Grayson.