Archive of entries posted on 30th October 2009

Torture: How Funny Is It?

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Friend of IMAO Michael Z. Williamson has made a new t-shirt:

Is torture funny, though? Now lots of people don’t like torture, but I don’t see why I should have a problem with it if it’s not done to someone I like, like myself. I don’t really mind if terrorists get tortured, because I don’t like them. Also, I don’t mind if animals get tortured because they are my inferiors and would torture me if given half the chance. No, I guess that’s not true; they would have to be given the full chance to be able to torture me. This is why I don’t like animals; all they want to do is torture me. Sick bastards.

Frank on Science!: The Platypus

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The closest thing there is in real life to an X-Man.

The closest thing there is in real life to an X-Man.

The duck-billed platypus (as opposed to the crab-clawed platypus and the rocket-powered platypus) somehow disproves both evolution and creationism at the same time. It actually would be the ultimate proof of evolution if there was supposed to be a missing link between a duck and a badger, but as is it just makes you drop to your knees, stare up at the data, and scream, “Why, Science!? Why?” It certainly isn’t the product of intelligent design, though, as it looks like it was slapped together by a three-year-old (“No, little Timmy, those things don’t go together.”).

It would be weird enough as a duck-like, egg-laying mammal, but did you know the male platypus has a poisonous spur? That’s right, it’s also part scorpion. But that’s not even the weirdest part. It can use its bill to detect electrical signals. You get that? It’s a badger duck scorpion with built in radar. As is, it’s already qualified to enter Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, but further analysis of its genome shows it actually has genes previously thought to only exist in birds, amphibians, and fish. And it has ten sex chromosomes; Science! hasn’t even determined how it keeps things straight.

There are many evolutionary theories on the platypus, but the most popular are that it was made in a lab by a mad scientist or it crashed landed in some sort of spaceship. Science! will continue to keep a sharp eye on it, though, because if it evolves high-intelligence, it would probably be the doom of the human race… and one would just assume by that point it would also have developed the ability to shoot laser blasts from its eyes.

Science!

Today’s Discussion Question

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Should we as a society wear more sashes?

Sashes help denote rank and keep order. Everyone knows the person with the mayor sash is the mayor and the person with a mechanic sash is a car mechanic. But does this lead to elitism? Wasn’t it the dream of the Founding Fathers that we become a sashless society? And how does one limit themselves to one sash? Do I wear my blogger sash, my engineer sash, or the world’s greatest grandpa sash that I stole from someone?

Complicated questions without easy answers. What say you?

Random Thoughts

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You’d think a unicorn typing C code with its horn would create great code, but it doesn’t even indent consistently.

What would have been a great line during the debate for Hoffman to say to Scozzafava: “You’re still here?”

To balance things out, I’m going to make candle-scented cinnamon.