[High Praise! to Critter for the suggestion]
I don’t have psychic powers, but I do have enough brain juice to notice the odd way various unimportant topics keep popping up in the media’s chit-chat about the President – none of which are even remotely related to his dismal record on the economy.
It’s like there’s this… list… somewhere of oo!-look-at-the-shiny-penny distrac-topics that various spokes-tools drag into the news cycle’s echo chamber to keep people from thinking, “Hey! I don’t have a job and my insurance premiums just went up because of Obamacare!”
You know… stuff like “how Romney transported his dog 30 years ago”, “how the government helps ‘Julia'”, and – perhaps cheesiest of all – after 3 years of phumphering, Obama finally admits to having an opinion on gay marriage, and it’s the same one EVERY liberal Democrat has.
What’ll pop out of the spin machine next? Let the wild speculation begin!:
1) During a speech at a Stark Trek convention, Obama “boldly goes there” by insisting that Janeway was way better than both Kirk AND Picard.
2) Nancy Pelosi suggests that, because of the President’s “gutsy call” to get bin Laden, the American military’s highest award for bravery should be renamed the “Obama Medal of Honor.”
3) Heavy rains cause massive flooding in Mississippi! Could this be a sign of GLOBAL WARMING?
4) A growing trend of people seeing the Obama symbol in everyday objects, like soccer balls, beer foam, and small moons – obviously because of their strong, unconscious yearning for the hope Obama brings, since Romney’s trademark important-looking hair hasn’t been seen anywhere except his barber’s floor. Speaking of which, did you know Romney pays more than $10 for a haircut? He’s SO out of touch with the average American!
5) Nathan Fillion publicly admits to owning the only surviving DVDs of “Firefly: Season Two”.
6) Drought in Oklahoma! Could this be a sign of GLOBAL WARMING?
7) Unquashable rumor that financially-troubled ratings-Morlock MSNBC will be bought by Newsweek for $1.
8) On the 35th anniversary of his death, Obama makes a gutsy call by openly stating his preference for “young Elvis“.
9) For the first time in history, the entire United States goes a day without setting a high- or low-temperature record – GLOBALWARMINGGLOBALWARMINGGLOBALWARMING!
10) When Jay Carney walks out to the podium for the morning press briefing, ABC’s eagle-eyed Jake Tapper notices that Jay forgot to remove the joint from behind his ear, and harshes everyone’s mellow by asking about it.
Or Obama could just go old-school Wag the Dog and declare war on Albania
UPDATE: Linked by YouViewed
UPDATE: Linked by RightNation