Straight Line of the Day: How Can You Tell If Obama’s Been In Your House?

Posted on June 27, 2012 12:06 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

How can you tell if Obama’s been in your house?

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63 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: How Can You Tell If Obama’s Been In Your House?”

  1. Charon says:

    35. blarg! Brilliant!

    Only tools left in the garage are a hammer and sickle.

  2. NJ Mike says:

    ……………..he leaves Michelle.

  3. Rayfan87 says:

    My dog has been BBQ’d
    There is a dead SS agent with dog bites on his neck
    the bathroom mirror is in the livingroom with coke residue
    my gunsafe has been replaced with a bong
    The whiskey has been switched for vodka
    my bible is gone but I have a new copy of Mao’s little red book

  4. Zach says:

    You can’t tell for sure. But if the ladies at the local brothel have had customers with suits and sunglasses, watch out for drones.

  5. blarg says:

    your house has been redecorated by Tim Burton

    you think there’s a horse’s head in your bed but then realize it’s just a passed out Sarah Jessica Parker

    all your knives and forks have been removed

    it takes you 3 hours to drive 8 miles to get home after work

    there was a natural disaster and I live in a swing state

    that unmistakable smell of freshly printed money lingers in the air

    that unmistakable smell of sulfur lingers in the air (thanks Hugo Chavez)

    my neighbors climbed over my fence and helped themselves to my pool, hot tub, and fridge and the cops won’t do anything about it except tell me that complaining is a hate crime and it’s my responsibility to make sure nobody drowns or runs out of drinks.

    an impromptu putting green has been dug in my back yard

    I catch Chris Mathews spanking it in my living room

    …in all seriousness, Obama would NEVER be in my house. In my entry, there’s an 11×14 framed autographed picture of Ronald Reagan. It HAS stopped liberals from entering my house before. Also my dog is a 70 pound German Shepherd and she’s handled worse than anything Obama could throw at her…

  6. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Your Winston Churchill bust has been replaced by Karl Marx and your thermostat wont go over 64.

  7. Dohtimes says:

    Thank you note left on kitchen counter tries but fails to explain the government backed loan left in the government mandated low flush toilet.

  8. Mxymaster says:

    Every bit of personal text has been edited. Like, your kid’s Little League trophy now reads “BOBBY JONES, Batting Title Champ” and underneath, “Barack Obama also provided initiatives to help kids get more exercise and live a healthier lifestyle.” Your plaque that said “JOHN JONES, Employee of the Month, August 2011” says on the bottom, “In a similar way, Barack Obama created or saved 78 squintillion jobs and has been America’s Employee of the Month since January 2009.”

  9. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Your bathtub is missing because the EPA declared it a ‘navigable waterway’.

  10. Bbbco says:

    A hybrid vehicle has crashed into your living room with a roseBush planted in the front seat.

  11. Jimmy says:

    My computer has been hacked and the desktop image is now a picture of Tiger Woods.

    The cops knock on the door and apparently I’m under arrest for suspicion of harboring an illegal foreign national in wartime.

  12. Captain Obvious says:

    Only tools left in the garage are a hammer and sickle.

    … and Joe Biden

  13. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “How can you tell if Obama’s been in your house?“. […]

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