BaconBot 2012!
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Archive of entries posted on 1st June 2012
Link of the Day: Top Ten list for Obamacare’s Individual Mandate
Not quite the traditional pithy, one-liner type of Top 10, but I think you’ll like it anyway:
Top Ten list for ObamaCare’s individual mandate
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
10 Most Interesting Things Overheard at the George W. Bush Portrait Unveiling
Bush 43 stopped by the White House for the unveiling of his official presidential portrait, with President Obama in attendance.
Our super-secret IMAO microphones were there eavesdropping and picked up a few snippets:
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1) “I heard he’s really only 1/32 cowboy.”
2) “NO BLOOD FOR OIL PAINTING!”
3) “How many jobs did that create or save?”
4) “Huh. Thought it’d have a postage-stamp mustache.”
5) “No, Mr. Gore, you can’t put an asterisk in the corner.”
6) “Looks like the White House garden’s rotten tomatoes won’t go to waste after all.”
7) “Barack, could you please move your hand?”
8) “Maybe George isn’t evil after all. Obama’s not bowing to him.”
9) “The buffet’s not bad, but I really thought there’d be more Colombian hookers here.”
10) “It’s a great portrait. I think when you spread the paint around, it’s good for everybody.”
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Might’ve been something in there about Rumsfeld strangling reporters in the parking lot, but that part was a little garbled. All you can hear is someone shouting “My name is Donald Rumsfeld and I strangled this reporter in the parking lot!”
[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons for the pic.]
Violent Feminism
I really like video games, so I don’t know why I don’t talk about them more often. Anyway, new Hitman game
Anyway, in the new trailer for Hitman: Absolution (which is like the fourth or fifth sequel for the game), Agent 47 — the bald protagonist — is ambushed by a group of sexy nun assassins in BDSM outfits who he then violently kills. Now, it’s been a habit for decades to sell games using sexy women and over the top violence (teenage boys are the main target for most games), but the combination of them — violently killing sexy women — is kind of weird and misogynistic. Anyway, the person I linked to at IGN has a big rant about it (and that’s why everyone wins in these things — the game gets publicity from the controversy and people denouncing it get lots of material), and while I think she might go a little over the top, I basically agree. Still, to me, the more interesting question is what if in the trailer Agent 47 instead fended off functionally dressed women?
Now, if the trailer was of a group of men getting violently killed, needless to say it would be completely unremarkable. If, analogous to this trailer, it was a group of sexily dressed men — like in Chippendale outfits — it would be controversial for a completely different reason: for being the gayest video game trailer ever. But what if Agent 47 were attacked by women appropriately attired and violently killed them in response — would that be controversial? Or it would be sexist to care because women can be just as dangerous as men as thus just as deserving to be killed by a hitman?
This is one of those confusing areas of feminism: Should there be more gender equality in bad stuff as well? For the longest time, in the area of enemies being violently killed with little regard has long been male dominated (when not zombie or alien dominated). Like I saw a website detailing all of Jack Bauer’s kills throughout the series 24, and he killed 267 people during it — but only four were women. Is that sexist? Do we need more equality on stuff like that? Are we not truly gender equal until half of criminals are female as well?
Feminism is confusing. If only women stuck to the kitchen and made pies, everything would be much simpler. And we’d have more pies. Bloomberg wouldn’t like that.
Wisdom of the Day: Trusted
From James Lileks:
If a product says “Trusted since 1908,” could it be there was a preceding interval in which they were viewed with considerable suspicion?
Elizabeth Warren’s Shocking Time Magazine Cover
[High Praise! to Les of Brick Moon]
Elizabeth Warren just doesn’t know when to stop talking.
Now there’s this bragging point:
“I was the first nursing mother to take a bar exam in the state of New Jersey,” Warren told an audience at the Chicago Humanities Festival in 2011.
Les took it & ran with it:
Here’s the original Time Magazine cover for comparison.
Nuke the News: Forcing You to Understand
* I love Bloomberg’s explanation for the soda ban. He’s “forcing you to understand.” Now, if only we had a way to force him to understand what a silly mockery he’s become.
In America — this country — politicians are supposed to be servants. They don’t make us understand anything or make us do anything. If anything, New Yorkers should be telling him how to eat. He does work for them, and thus it’s in their interest to keep him healthy, so they should be dictating what he can eat and how much he should exercise per day. That would be just and fine in our American system. We tell politicians what to do, not the other way around. How do we make people like Bloomberg understand that? The answer: a long exile to Antarctica to think things over. We really need to start working on my idea to turn Antarctica into a place to exile politicians.
* Romney held a press conference outside the shuttered Solyndra building, using it as a symbol of Obama’s failure. This is why I’m already liking Romney much more than McCain: He really wants to be president, so he is not afraid to attack and attack and attack. And really, what more do we want after suffering through the Obama presidency than someone constantly and very publicly pointing out what an absolute failure that Obama idiot is. Maybe a Romney presidency won’t be that great, but a complete rejection of the Obama presidency is needed to heal our country. And for the lols.
* A bill to ban sex-selection abortions was defeated in the House (it needed two-thirds vote for the fast track). The main response from Democrats is to pretend it wasn’t a problem — as they do with any suggestion of horrific consequence from abortion. So how does this fit in the war on women? Is allowing baby girls to be aborted for being girls pro-Women because abortion is so absolutely sacred to everything feminist? Just remember in the War on Women, only one side is causing actual casualties.
* John Edwards, not guilty on one count, mistrial on five other counts. I guess he’s good then; he should definitely run for office then.
I still don’t understand how anyone fell for such on obvious scumbag. Clips of Edwards campaigning in 2004 should be used in training videos for voters, “This is what a slimeball sounds like. Do not vote for people like this.”
Random Thoughts: Large Soda Outlaw
We need a remedial freedom course that’s mandatory for politicians to attend.
NYC should require that the mayor wear an elf costume and dance for passersby (for his health – dancing burns calories).
“Psst. Hey, would you like to buy a large soda?”
“You have to tell me if you’re a cop, right?”
Before Bloomberg eats a meal, he should have to report to the public exactly what it is and get approval via referendum.
Some days I feel like a big, up and coming writer, and other days I just wish people would acknowledge I exist via email. Writing is a very neurotic thing.
“I’m simply forcing you to understand,” is what I say when I punch someone in the face.
New Yorkers, why do you let that guy push you around? You’re much bigger than he is.
Can you believe that people once traveled out in the frontier by themselves with no one to tell them how much soda they could drink?
Can’t someone take Bloomberg aside and explain things to him and them slap him around a bit?
Obama: “I don’t want my daughters to be punished with a girl baby.”
I don’t get much abuse; everyone usually likes me because I’m so awesome.
You know you’ve found a weirdo if the first word of their twitter bio is “freethinker.” That reminds me of the Margaret Thatcher quote about being a lady.
Anakin Skywalker was a great Jedi and then evil villain, but he redeemed himself. Hopefully the same will happen for George Lucas.
Politicians are servants. New Yorkers should be able to tell Bloomberg what he can eat but not the other way around.
On the internet, we constantly get to see how wrong everyone is. Now we know how God feels.
Sex-selection abortions are only the beginning. Wait until we kind find out even more about a child than sex before he or she is born.
Legal abortion will never be this happy, normal thing. It’s only going to become even uglier in the future.
You can’t prevent sex-selection or any other selection when “I just don’t want it” is still a valid reason for abortion.
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UPDATE: Linked by The Adaptive Curmudgeon (NSFW)