After Walker’s victory, MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell said that “the really big winner in the Wisconsin recall election is President Obama.”
Ya know, I never thought I’d say this, but we need to make Obama a bigger winner.
_______________
UPDATE: Linked by MadDogDriveThru.net
[High Praise! to GorT, via The Gorgomons]
Ya know, I flatter myself that I’m incomparably talented at making up funny stuff, but I also have heroes, the hems of whose garments I am unworthy to soil with my unclean touch: Frank J., Iowahawk, Monty Python, William Goldman, Dan Harmon, and the Futurama writers, to name a few.
Now I must add to the list BLS Acting Commissioner John M. (Jack) Galvin.
Because if I were to make up a list of “green jobs”, I guarantee it would not even be half as funny as this.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #4,033)
Sheer. Comic. Genius.
Pity he’s serious.
Meanwhile, I just can’t stop picturing Galvin as an architect.
[High Praise! to Travelwise42, via Burt Prelutsky]
Re-electing Obama would be like the Titanic backing up and hitting the iceberg again.
And [High Praise! to Fritz] speaking of Captain O….
_______________
UPDATE: Linked by Before It’s News
UPDATE: Linked by Doug Ross
UPDATE: Linked by The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
UPDATE: Linked by Ed Driscoll
UPDATE: Linked by b5blue’s Liberal Reformation Blog
He didn’t necessarily say these out loud, but since most people are convinced I’m just a crazy voice in Frank’s head (I blame Jimmy Stewart for this), you shouldn’t be surprised if I just read his thoughts:
______________
 |
1) “It’s ‘Game of Thrones,’ not ‘Game of Throne.’ Where are the rest of my thrones? You give more thrones now!”
2) “Can you believe ‘it’s my birthday’ isn’t considered a valid excuse to get out of jury duty? It’s like living in North Korea!”
3) “Buttercup got me nothing because her credit card was maxed out. Note to self: block Zappos.com.”
4) “Weird… I got this card with a picture of a blended puppy on the front and ‘Hmmmm… Heh… Indeed…’ on the inside. Not sure if it’s from Glenn Reynolds or Obama.
5) “The ultimate effect of Scott Walker’s recall election victory was to distract people from Frank J. Birthday Week. Damn you Scott Walker!” *shakes fist*
6) “Dear Mr. Barrett – although I appreciate your gift of a video of a liberal getting slapped, this is NOT an acceptable substitute for a video of a hippy getting punched. Please rile up your base more next time.”
7) “The party went pretty well, except that all night long I kept accidentally calling the birthday clown ‘Mr. Biden’.”
8) “Next birthday week I’m celebrating in Texas. The Chuck E. Cheese’s down there have live-fire ranges.”
9) “This is just depressing. Sure I’m a published author, but I’d always thought that by age 33 I would’ve killed a lot more commies with my bare hands.”
10) “Good news, everyone! In honor of Frank J. Birthday Week, Butch agreed to change the name Frankaho!”
______________
Oddly, no comments about SarahK putting on the Marilyn Monroe wig and singing “Happy Birthday” to him, so we’ll just assume that part didn’t disappoint.
[High Praise! to Carey]
Obama Also Says That Ray Bradbury Is ‘Doing Just Fine’
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
I think a lot of people were looking at the Republican field near the end of the primary thinking, “Wow! Those people suck; I could have so easily won this.” One of them was apparently Jeb Bush who said, “This was probably my time.” Would that have been a good precedent, though? Do we really want ever other president from now until the end of our republic twelve years from now to be a Bush? Is conservative mediocrity really so hard to find that we have to keep turning to the same family?
We need an actual hardcore, conservative political dynasty. It didn’t happen with Reagan, so I think I’ll have to start my own. I can be president eight years, and then SarahK can be president eight years (though I’ll make most of the day to day decisions so she still has time to cook me chimichangas). And then eventually Buttercup can be president. President Buttercup — she shall rule with an iron fist, striking our enemies without mercy. Aww, she’s going to make me so proud.
[High Praise! to ComradeChairmanObama]
Not to steal Basil’s thunder, but I thought CCO had a pretty good list going in the comments, and I wouldn’t want you Nukers to miss out on it:
______________
* When a Democrat says “fair share”, he means “we’re going to rob the rich blind and give it to our favorite charity – us!”.
* When a Democrat says “The Rich”, he means “All those people who are doing so much better than we are financially and are insanely jealous of so we’ll make them pay their fair share!”.
* When a Democrat says “racist!”, he means “I’ll teach you to disagree with me!”.
* When Democrats say “Bi-partisan”, they mean “Our way or the highway”.
* When a Democrat says “that’s offensive” (i.e., Obama regarding leak allegations), he means “I’ll teach you to point out my: 1) stupidity; 2) separation from reality; 3) over-all suckage; 4) illegal activity.
* When a Democrat says “hate/hate crime”, he means “how dare you point out our complete and utter moral terpitude!”.
* When a Democrat says “I’m sorry”, he means “I’m so very, very, truly and sincerely sorry I got caught, and I’m only apologizing because there’s absolutely no possible way to spin this”.
* When a Democrat says “It’s Bush’s fault!”, he means “It’s Bush’s fault” [a Democrat saying what he means – a true rarity].
* When a Democrat says “tolerance”, he means “tolerance for any behavior except anything remotely Judeo-Christian in nature”.
* When a Democrat says “Patriotic”, he means…..uh……ummm…..hmm. Now THAT’S a real melon-scratcher.
______________
From Fred Thompson:
Gmail announces new system to alert users targeted by state-sponsored attacks. It took this long to say, “CAUTION: You live in China”?
[High Praise! to Burmashave]
If you do, this is what happens:
I actually met Frank J. back in 2005 when he crashed my party. He must’ve done this about half-a-dozen times.
So some of Romney’s neighbors don’t like him so much. With the economy crumbling and a complete incompetent in the White House, it’s good the New York Times is spending time on something like this. Still, it must have been hellish living next to him. You’d be trying to sleep, but at 8am you’d hear, “One million… two million… three million…” And then you’d throw open your window and scream, “Stop loudly counting your money in the middle of the night!” And then there’s that car elevator he never properly oiled and makes a horrible squeaking noise. And then there was the dog always barking, still left in the crate on the top of the car. And then there’s those times Romney would kidnap you, put you on a remote island, and hunt you for sport. Rich people like Romney are always hunting their neighbors for sport. But if Romney goes to live in the White House, he won’t have any neighbors, so I don’t really see how any of this is an issue.
[Via Technabob]
From the artist:
I attempted to stay as true as possible to the geometry and proportions of Esher’s work, while bringing in the colors, worlds, and characters of Star Wars, and the freshness of the Lego medium.
Lots of detailed close-up shots and larger-size pics at MOCPages.
I think my favorite detail would be Lego-Luke’s severed Lego-hand falling, still clutching his Lego-lightsaber.
So Romney is now beating Obama in fundraising. How? Well, I know some of his current fundraising methods.
MITT ROMNEY FUNDRAISING METHODS
* There’s a contest to win $1,000,000 by mussing up Romney’s hair, but it’s a $100 a try and so far no one has succeeded.
* He raises extra money transporting people’s pets.
* He’s a surprisingly stealthy pickpocket.
* If people pay big money to go to one of his dinners, he guarantees that Sarah Jessica Parker, Anna Wintour, and Michelle Obama will not be there.
* He keeps asking Joe Biden to give him two tens for a five.
* He offers a barber service. Sometimes he does it without asking, but still charges.
* Newt Gingrich pays him a thousand dollars a day to be his friend.
* He buys up less successful campaigns and then fires the staff and sells all their assets.
* He’s vowed to get Obama out of office, and people really like that and want to pay big money for that.
Big Mike tweeted this after Scott Walker’s recall election victory:
Coincidentally, after Walker won, I thought the exact same thing.
Remind me again: The unions spent countless hours and dollars trying to recall the Scott Walker. Did it work?
Because I was wondering, the term for a place like Five Guys or Chipotle that exists between fast food and casual dining is “fast casual”.
The Chris Matthews Twitter account says it’s verified, but the tweets aren’t in all caps.
After Inglorious Basterds, I’m quite excited for the next Tarantino film, also a period piece.
I kinda miss Newt Gingrich.
Saw the trailer for Wreck-It Ralph. Looks interesting, but Zangief is not a bad guy.
If you keep a gun in your home, you have an eight times greater risk of being a badass.
Wikipedia has me on their list of “living people”. I hope I stay there.
I never got “sports.” Let’s just see if we can all come to an agreement where we want the ball to be and then keep it there.
[Inspired by Keln of Nuking Politics, who asked me for advice. Figured the answer might be helpful to more than just him]
You want to build traffic, and it’s going slow, and it’s frustrating.
Bad news. It’s just going to take time and there are no shortcuts.
All you can do is work the fundamentals:
Post as often as you can.
Make your commentary as original as you can.
Build relationships with your readers – comment on their comments, answer their emails, praise them in your posts if something they said inspired you to write it.
Finally – write in an entertaining fashion.
For example, I could have introduced a video of whiny hippies by saying:
“Ha ha, sad hippies.”
Which would’ve been adequate.
What I said was this:
“Mostly just watch this for the schadenfreudey goodness only attainable via the sweet, sweet lamentations of spirit-crushed socialists”.
And someone linked the post SPECIFICALLY because they liked that sentence.
Never underestimate the power of a good turn of phrase.
You’re a man on a public stage now.
Be entertaining.
