The Only Guaranteed Way to End Islamic Radicals Murderous Rage

Posted on September 18, 2012 1:00 pm

Do you have a problem with Islamic radicals like this one?

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Everything seems to fill them with murderous rage! What can you do? Give up on freedom of speech and hope that will keep them from violent rampages? But even that doesn’t always work.

But what if I told you there is a solution that removes all potential rage from a crazed Islamic radical and it works in seconds? Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? But it’s for real! I bring you the DeRager™:

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How does it work? Simply apply the DeRager™ directly to the forehead of Islamic radical. I’ll have my lovely assistant show you how:

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And that’s it! Now try exposing that same Islamic radical to any material you want — blasphemous or benign:

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That’s right! No more murderous rage!

So stop worry about how the speech you or other use may incite violence; just apply the DeRager™ today!

The DeRager™: The only guaranteed way to ensure that Islamic radicals don’t react in murderous rage.

(from the makers of ClueBat™)

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20 Responses to “The Only Guaranteed Way to End Islamic Radicals Murderous Rage”

  1. Genghis Khen says:

    Hey look! It’s Sarah K DeRaging an Islamic radical. (as indicated by the bow)
    Yes, I still have my Frank J cartoon legend for reference.

  2. Mongo says:

    While DeRager has its place, I prefer something more simple… like a number I just thought of four off hand… 223 …. 9 … 50 …. 45. Something along those lines, perhaps?

  3. John says:

    Frank is such an awesome cartoonist.

  4. Pendog says:

    I’m hoping that the ‘Derager’ can be adapted to a drone.

  5. Jimmy says:

    See, this is why I can’t give Frank up.

  6. Pendog says:

    I’m hoping that the ‘DeRager’ can be adapted to a drone. Given time, it could also be the catalyst for a new sport… Moon-batty?

  7. Jimmy says:

    Can robots carry DeRagers™? Do I need a permit to conceal-carry a DeRager™? Can I open-carry a DeRager™? What’s the life cycle of a DeRager™? 100,000 hit between failures? Where can I get a DeRager™ and how much do they cost? Is it okay to apply two or more hits to the same head with a DeRager™ or is that considered overkill?

    We need answers!

  8. Son of Bob says:

    What an unexpected pleasure. When I awoke this morning I knew not that on this day the art world could rejoice, basking in the glow of yet another offering from the artist Frank J. It’s been quite some time since the artist has taken to his medium and created another unique work of art. This piece, a four-panel narrative, once again displays Frank J’s ability to capture motion – and, indeed, emotion – with simplistic lines and minimalistic colors. One doesn’t simply gaze upon this piece so much as one finds one’s self absorbed – nay, enveloped – in a flurry of action and emotion. One can almost taste the rage of the Islamist. And, must wince at the moment of contact when Sarah K’s “DeRager” makes contact with human flesh and bone, while simultaneously being drawn into the paradox of her joyous, almost whimsical, gaze. And finally, the viewer finds him or herself enthralled by the final image…that of the fallen Islamist, left to wonder – perhaps always and forever – the fate of this forlorn individual. Is he still among the living or has he departed this life? Indeed, are we looking at a character that will rise again to face an uncertain future or has this misguided figure gasped his last breath in defeat, encountering an unforseen destiny as little more than so much discarded refuge? Perhaps, only the artist, Frank J, holds the answer. And, might I add that I truly hope that he never shares the fate of his enraged figure that encompasses this work of art. Indeed, might I beg of the artist that he never divulge the truth of his fate, so that we all might spend, perhaps, the rest of our days haunted by that beleaguered final expression, wondering what might or might not be his fate. Simply put: Bravo, Frank J. Bravo!

  9. plentyobailouts says:

    FrankJ’s rendering of an islamic democrat is just so life like, that I had to hide at one point because I though he was looking at me. Good thing I could keep reading and find out about the wonderful product. I am so glad that operators are standing by! This is the greatest invention in the history of, of, Everything!!

  10. greg zywicki says:

    As an islamic radical, cartoons of a man being clubbed by a (bow means) girl fills me with rage.

  11. Pendog says:

    Notice how the eyes seem to follow you everywhere.

  12. Steve Sales says:

    I just happened across IMAO site today and the first thing I see is the DeRager cartoon. It’s love at first sight! Fine art combined with witty reparte. My next move is to delete Breibart from my Favorites List.

  13. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    The model of DeRager shown can also be applied to Occupiers and those joining in on their dumbarsed anniversary celebrations.

    I must point out, however, in the face of extant, latent Celtiphobia, that the DeRager is a knock-off of the historically more-effective Irish HushEmUp, AKA the Blackthorn Shilelagh.

    The Shilelagh, through time immemorial, has been the go-to option when tempers flared, disputes over pub tabs warranted absolute resolution, or close-in theological conflicts called for direct resolutions.

    Carried by working-men and the well-to-do, it doubles as a sporty walking stick, suitable for the man in a boiler suit or in Clifden tweeds.

    I can understand Frank’s desire to expel the Irish from his midst, Heaven forfend there’d be someone to call out his possible “borrowing” of ideas already well-set in Celtic history and tradition.

    Bless him, we’ll not turn the man away though, when he’s dry and calling out for a pint of Arthur’s Medicinal Stout, and forgiveness will be proffered if he transgresses by reaching for a PBR.

  14. JAGernaut says:

    Hmm… That doesn’t look like an islamic radical to me… He lacks the appropriate headgear (turban, scraggly beard), equipment (suicide vest, curvy sword or explosive koran) and used none of the proper language (durka durka, Mohammad jihad?).

    The demonstration used some white guy with bad teeth spouting jihadi ideals (British Islamic appeaser?). Do you have any proof that it will work on actual islamic radicals? Maybe Islamic Rage Boy could volunteer for the job – he’s always due for a good “deraging!”

  15. 4of7 says:

    DeRager! Apply directly to the forehead!
    DeRager! Apply directly to the forehead!

    Ah, today is a good day!

  16. Mxymaster says:

    Lookin’ good, Sarah! Have you lost weight?

  17. cptnmoroni says:

    I would prefer the Deluxe DeRager 2.0 which comes with a nail in it. For a limited time, when you order the DeRager, we’ll send you the Deluxe DeRager 2.0 absolutely free. Operators are standing by.

  18. Writer says:

    I still prefer the Neu.tron Bomb. Then you can contract out the wasted Real Estate to oil companies and Century 21. This could turn our depression into a boom

  19. Ogrrre says:

    Jimmy, there is no such thing as “overkill”. There is only “open fire” and “I need to reload”. – Maxim #37 of the 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

  20. Kris says:

    But WAIT! There’s more! For only 4 payments of $19.99 you can have two DeRagers….and a free package of ShamWow to clean up the mess. :)

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