Straight Line of the Day: A Just-Released White House Email…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A just-released White House email…
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(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
October 25th, 2012 at 12:02 pm
…Shows the president responding to an offer for “all natural male enhancement”.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
…displays the subject line “Plan for Second Term”. The body contains only the words “see attachment”. There is no attachment.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
… was rejected as SPAM and was sent to JUNK MAIL.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
…that Hillary Clinton, as a woman, did not want to make decisions on the mens bodies in our Libyan embassy, she left it up to them to abort themselves or not.
(…but she did send a box of condoms for protection.)
…that Obama has 100% of the vote locked up in seven states, the names and locations of which will be released later.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
reveal they have found a way to get a $5M donation; but Obama won’t like it…
=======================
From: JBiden@WhiteHouse.gov
To: WHStaff_ALL
FW: RE: From the desk of Alan Smithe Esq.
He guys, this prince needs our help! If we help him his family could fund all our campaign needs!
October 25th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
. . . expresses condolences to a spike of missing dogs in Colorado recently.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:43 pm
To: Plouffe, Axelrod
Need more distractions. Jig is up re Benghazi lies. Send Biden out to say more stupid stuff.
October 25th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
…reveals The pResident’s disappointment at finding that Bo has registered as a Republican.
The Dinner Menu may well be changed.
October 25th, 2012 at 1:14 pm
… links the Obama Administration to the deaths of Tupac AND Biggie…
October 25th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
…Biden assigned to judge 3rd grade geography contest.
October 25th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Guys, guys, I figured out how to save the election! We cancel it!
Axlerod, draft me up a directive. Spin it to sound like we’re trying to reduce the deficit by reducing election spending.
Carney, get out a story that claims Romeny’s already flushed away billions in election dollars while we’re donating our funds directly to the treasury.
Biden, smash.
October 25th, 2012 at 1:31 pm
FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:Nigerian king needs your help!
Joe, Check into this ASAP. My uncle says he has 16 Trillian dollars that he wants to give me.
October 25th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
…states:
Hello and greetings in the hope that this email finds you well. I am pleased and gratified to notify you that you are in recipt of 5M USD. In order to claim you prize please remit 200.00 USD in money order to the address below in order to process your claim…
October 25th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Awe man. I didn’t mean to steal that last one. Missed it when I skimmed the comments.
October 25th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Please remove me from your mail list. Thank you.
h.clinton@whitehouse.gov
October 25th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
…contains no content. (It’s an allegory!)
October 25th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Mr. President,
…now call Romney a Bullsh!tter
Sincerely,
TOTUS
October 25th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
says not to take anything contained in this e-mail seriously, it is just an e-mail. If there were real information to be discussed, it would be leaked to the NY Times.
October 25th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
revealed that the email in Mrs. C’s (post 5) post was originally sent by the President’s brother.
October 25th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
…showed that the Obamanation had made a charitable contribution to Al Qaeda.
October 25th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
…was a request for the State Department to double check that “Romesia” is not an actual country because now is not a good time to have to be apologizing to them.
October 25th, 2012 at 3:21 pm
…shows that the White House has already started converting stationary and email clients to “President Romney”
…proves that the President CAN, in fact, send and recieve email…like the ones from the Libyan Embassy.
October 25th, 2012 at 3:31 pm
…shows that Barack Obama is a spammer!
October 25th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
…contained the words, “spam spam eggs and spam – and waffles!”
October 25th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
…is from Amazon, stating that President Obama’s order of “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything” has been confirmed.
October 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Reelect me and maybe my well compensated friends will go to bat for YOU.
http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/f8myiq/sports-show-with-norm-macdonald-wait-what—-gloria-allred-press-conference-antics
October 25th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
reads as follows, “Hey guys, it looks like I’ll be free for a while come January so why don’t you fly to Hawaii for a friendly Choom Gang reunion. Boy have I got stories for you. See you then, O.”
October 25th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
A just-released White House email…announced that, according to VP Biden, the U.S. will withdraw all it’s troops from Iran by the end of this year.
October 25th, 2012 at 4:33 pm
A just-released White House email…from FLOTUS asked that people stop suggesting she dress as a witch for Halloween.
October 25th, 2012 at 4:35 pm
A just-released White House email…asked if anyone knew who ordered all the packing boxes.
October 25th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
A just-released White House email…from Tim Gietner reminded everyone that job related moving expenses are tax deductible….to those who file taxes.
October 25th, 2012 at 4:49 pm
….who the hell is Deep Throat?!
October 25th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
. . . is an advertisement for Obama’s new line of microwavable meals; you eat and you eat and you eat and, in half an hour, you’re unemployed
October 25th, 2012 at 11:05 pm
… is a chain letter saying “Forward to 10 friends and you get free birth control.”
October 26th, 2012 at 1:30 am
… that includes a FREE Diebold AccuVote trojan.
Hm. “Trojan” is a terrible name for a condom — it suggests that it sneaks the guys in and then let’s them out to attack.
October 26th, 2012 at 7:27 am
…along with the Obamaphone, we will supply the Obamadog to needy families, with included tub of government subsidized butter.
October 26th, 2012 at 7:37 am
…confirms that “paul_ryan_shirtless.jpg” is the most forwarded attachment on their servers. “joe biden shirtless” has never been submitted as a search query.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:31 am
EJECT EJECT EJECT
October 26th, 2012 at 8:18 pm
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