Archive for December, 2012

Government Stimulus Spending Demonstrated in 38 Seconds

Monday, December 31, 2012 9:00 pm


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,066,850)

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The Fiscal Cliff Negotiations Have Historical Precedent

Monday, December 31, 2012 8:00 pm

[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons]

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Nothing Says “I’m an Idiot” Like Writing on Your Own Face

Monday, December 31, 2012 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

Put out by UnfairCampaign.org

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this simply a dog-whistling code-worded way of saying “coloreds are inferior”?


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #2,967)

As for the comment at the 14 second mark about white people being privileged because we don’t “get pulled over when we’re in the wrong neighborhood”… not true.

My nephew was driving home from night school through a bad part of St. Paul and got pulled over for being white. Cop told him it was suspicious because a white kid would only be driving through that part of town that late at night if he was trying to buy drugs.

He explained the situation to the cop and showed him his books, so nothing came of it, but the point is, racial profiling cuts both ways.

By the way, I agree with my nephew that this was a perfectly legitimate stop under the circumstances.

Anyway, Moonbattery also posted an excellent response video.

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Link of the Day: Obama Discovers Fiscal Cliff Cure

Monday, December 31, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to Innominatus]

Barry miraculous economic rebound!

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Government Cheese Is People!

Monday, December 31, 2012 4:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Last Refuge]

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Killer Hippies

Monday, December 31, 2012 2:30 pm

There’s a story out today about a hippie couple (I assume they are hippies as they are Occupiers) who, it was found when police raided their apartment for suspected fraud, had been making bombs and collecting weapons. Now, most hippies, hipsters, occupiers, whatever, espouse ideals of peace and love and marijuana smoking and not being a responsible adult. Generally, they don’t plan terrorist attacks or the like, which is why the best way to deal with them is by punching them. You know, because it’s an honest attempt to knock some sense into them and also it’s fun to do for the whole family.

But what happens when hippies get violent and arm themselves? How do you deal with them then? And I’m not talking about an obviously armed hippie that you would simply shoot like any threatening criminal, but when hippies are becoming more armed and dangerous how do you approach the hippie you see on the street? Punch them anyway and take your chances? Leave them alone?

I mean, other than some outliers like the Manson Family and such, hippies have been awfully annoying but mostly harmless. When they are crazed enough about their “cause”, whatever that is, they might just set aside their “morals”, whatever those are, and go on crazy rampages and start bombing Wall Street instead of merely stinking it up.

Like terrorist hippies or something. That’s a pretty scary thought right there. I wonder what a terrorist hippie yells when they pull a trigger instead of “Allah Ackbar!”. Maybe something like “Berkenstocks!”, or maybe “Occupy!” or whatever.

Anyway, I think this is a serious threat to our safety and there should probably be a debate about “hippie control”. Like hippies should all be rounded up into communes or something, for their safety and ours. I mean, they like communes right? We can give them lots of trees to hug. And bears. They love bears and natury stuff they’ve never actually seen. We can give them all kinds of bears to roam around in their peaceful, tree-filled, weapon-free communes. Then they can be happy with each other and do what they want and nobody will complain about the smell.

Except maybe the bears.

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Deport Piers Morgan Petition Nearing 100,000 Signatures

Monday, December 31, 2012 2:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Gateway Pundit]

Look, if I were invited into someone’s home and I punched their kitten, I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked me to leave.

Piers is punching our kitten.

Time to go, Redcoat.

We petition the Obama administration to:
Deport British Citizen Piers Morgan for Attacking 2nd Amendment

British Citizen and CNN television host Piers Morgan is engaged in a hostile attack against the U.S. Constitution by targeting the Second Amendment. We demand that Mr. Morgan be deported immediately for his effort to undermine the Bill of Rights and for exploiting his position as a national network television host to stage attacks against the rights of American citizens.

Piers responded to this by playing the First Amendment card, conveniently forgetting that the Constitution doesn’t apply to non-citizens.

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Straight Line of the Day: Upon Returning to Work This Week After Her Illness, Hillary Clinton…

Monday, December 31, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Upon returning to work this week after her illness, Hillary Clinton…

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Bear tunnels

Monday, December 31, 2012 11:00 am

Quick, if you had $60.5-million, wouldn’t you use it to build bear tunnels? That’s what the state of Georgia is doing.

I’m not sure where it got the $60.5-million. Probably free money. You know, tax money. So, it’s not like it’s money that could have spent on something else. I mean, Georgia has just under 10-million people, so that’s a little over $6 for every man woman and child. And if they gave each resident $6, they’d just spend on something silly, like a McRib meal plus a McFlurry or something equally stupid.

No, Georgia is putting that money to good use, by building bear tunnels.

They’re doing this in three stages. After all, you can’t expect to build all the bear tunnels at once, now could you? The first stage will be in central Georgia, along State Road 96, which runs from US-80 in Geneva to US-441 south of Wilkinson. If you don’t know those places, don’t sweat it; most folks in Georgia haven’t either. But, apparently, the bears know all about it.

According to the report, some scientist people put up cameras along the route to get an idea about bears:

Scientists have also placed remote cameras near current bridges along State Route 96 to monitor the bears’ movement.

“We’re getting pictures of bobcats and deer and all kinds of other species,” (UGA wildlife ecologist Mike) Chamberlain said.

And, as everyone knows, pictures of bobcats and deer near bridges means that bears are off looking for tunnels to safely cross the road.

The state is also are going to build bear tunnels in the norther part of the state, up in the mountains. They’re also going to build bear tunnels down south, near my old stomping grounds, close to the Okefenokee Swamp.

I may take off work and go watch them build that one. I’ve always wanted to see grown men try to build a tunnel in a swamp. That sounds like fun!

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Cartoon of the Day – Addict

Monday, December 31, 2012 10:00 am


[Source: Michael Ramirez – GoComics]

I have a friend who says liberalism is a disease. He’s not wrong.

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2012 was the best…

Monday, December 31, 2012 9:00 am

As 2012 winds to a close, I want to tell you up front that it sucked.

2012 wasn’t a good year. All kinds of bad things happened. Obama began the year as president, ended the year as president, and will be president for the next four years. On the suck meter, that goes to eleven.

However, 2012 wasn’t all bad. The family grew. The newest member, my youngest grandson, is visiting these last few days of the year. Oh, sure, his parents came along for the ride. It’ll be that way until he learns how to drive. He should get a driver’s license when he turns 16 … in 2028.

So, yeah, there were some awesome things that happened in 2012.

Rather than close the year dwelling on all the really crappy stuff that happened, most of it involving Obama, let’s take a moment and think about the good stuff. I’m gonna go hold my youngest grandson while you spend some time sharing the good things that happened.

What’s the best thing that happened to you in 2012?

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Briefly: Every Gun Control Conversation Ever

Monday, December 31, 2012 8:00 am

[High Praise! to The Javelina Bomb]

Conservative: “Crazy people shouldn’t have guns”

Liberal: “All gun-owners are crazy”

(conversation over)

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Best Post Title Ever

Sunday, December 30, 2012 10:00 pm

No, not the one above this sentence.

This one from Teri O’Brien [High Praise!]:

Barack Obama: My Voters are Idiots and I am Their King

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Why Obamacare Is Like a Snowflake

Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:00 pm

[High Praise! to Theo Spark]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #239,970)

Metaphorically, this is how the free market works – creating a variety of results to meet changing conditions.

Under ObamaSnow, all snowflakes would be exactly the same size and shape, and every part of the country would be required to have a set amount of snowfall each year, whether they have snow-removal equipment or not.

But it’s only fair. Why should Wisconsin get big, fluffy, snow you can make snowmen out of while Florida only gets occasional flurries?

Like Obama once said, “when you spread the snow around, it’s good for everybody”.

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Link of the Day: We Need to Have a National Conversation About Media Control

Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

We need to have a national conversation about Media control

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Look! Obama’s Handing Out Free Money!

Sunday, December 30, 2012 3:00 pm

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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This Is What a Gun-Free Zone Is Really Like

Sunday, December 30, 2012 12:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Right Planet]


[LiveLeak direct link]

The backstory on this video:

On October 16, 1991, Hennard drove his 1987 Ford Ranger pickup truck through the front window of a Luby’s Cafeteria at 1705 East Central Texas Expressway in Killeen, yelled “This is what Bell County has done to me!”, then opened fire on the restaurant’s patrons and staff with a Glock 17 pistol and later a Ruger P89. About 80 people were in the restaurant at the time. He stalked, shot, and killed 23 people and wounded another 20 before committing suicide. During the shooting, he approached Suzanna Gratia Hupp and her parents. Hupp had actually brought a handgun to the Luby’s Cafeteria that day, but had left it in her vehicle due to the laws in force at the time, forbidding citizens from carrying firearms. According to her later testimony in favor of Missouri’s HB-1720 bill[1] and in general, after she realized that her firearm was not in her purse, but “a hundred feet away in [her] car”, her father charged at Hennard in an attempt to subdue him, only to be gunned down; a short time later, her mother was also shot and killed. (Hupp later expressed regret for abiding by the law in question by leaving her firearm in her car, rather than keeping it on her person. One patron, Tommy Vaughn, threw himself through a plate-glass window to allow others to escape. Hennard allowed a mother and her four-year-old child to leave. He reloaded several times and still had ammunition remaining when he committed suicide by shooting himself in the head after being cornered and wounded by police.

Reacting to the massacre, in 1995 the Texas Legislature passed a shall-issue gun law allowing Texas citizens with the required permit to carry concealed weapons. The law had been campaigned for by Suzanna Hupp, who was present at the Luby’s massacre and both of whose parents were shot and killed. Hupp testified across the country in support of concealed-handgun laws, and was elected to the Texas House of Representatives in 1996. The law was signed by then-Governor George W. Bush and became part of a broad movement to allow U.S. citizens to easily obtain permits to carry concealed weapons.

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lolbama! Part 116

Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:00 am

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.


From Arik:

[reference link]

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Arik:

[ref 1,ref 2]

From Arik:

From Arik:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From AT:

[reference link]

From Dodsfall:

From Katy:

[reference link]

From Katy:

From Katy:

From Tanstaafl44:

From me (Harvey):

From me (Harvey):


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


Unquestionably Arik for “Soupy Baby”.


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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This Commercial Makes Me Want an iPad

Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to Stupid Is a Five Letter Word]


[Snotr direct link]

I had no idea the things were so useful.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Saturday, December 29, 2012 9:02 pm

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The weirdest thing about Obama’s golf cart…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Also, Keln has chosen the Punchline Nuker of the Week.

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