Ten More Joe Biden Gun Tips

Joe Biden was recently explaining to people that an AR-15 is bad for home defense and instead advised, “Buy a shotgun! Buy a shotgun!” Of course, that left people wondering what other great gun tips Biden has. Well, lucky for you, IMAO was able to obtain a list Joe Biden wrote himself of all his gun tips:

JOE BIDEN’S GUN TIPS

* Never put a gun barrel in your mouth. If you’re curious what your gun tastes like, it’s much safer to just lick around the barrel.

* A gun makes a decent hammer in a pinch, but is hard to use as a screwdriver.

* Make sure to loudly announce, “I am firing a gun!” right before you fire your gun so people know what that sound is.

* Guns are literally the loudest things ever and scare things that don’t like loud noises, like women.

* All the rules of safety for a bullet gun also applies to a glue gun. Ignore those rules, and end up with your head stuck to a table.

* A shotgun is much better for home defense and safer than an AR-15. And even better and safer is a Super Soaker filled with acid.

* A great way to carry a gun is to tie it to your head. Then someone can’t try to grab your gun without you seeing.

* You can check if a gun is of a decent caliber by sticking your index finger in the barrel. If your finger can go in but gets stuck when you try to pull it out, then the gun is just the right caliber for you.

* You can’t tell if a gun is loaded by looking down the barrel unless you have a flashlight.

* You can use a gun to defend yourself and still resolve things peacefully. For instance, you can offer to trade your gun to a criminal in exchange for not hurting you.

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24 Comments

  1. Pingback: Joe Biden’s Gun Tips | Shall Not Be Questioned

  2. *If you wake up and a bear is eating you just stick your shotgun outside the tent and fire both-I REPEAT- both barrels into the air.

    *When not sleeping in a tent keep firing your shotgon continuously into the air just to be safe.

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  3. * Pink guns don’t scare criminals. But they do make them think of parties with cake and ice cream and sprinkles! So, that can work in your (party) favor.

    * Carrying loaded magazines in your pocket is a bad idea. You might get shot there and cause a chain reaction, severing your leg at the hip. Plus, it’ll hurt.

    * If the butt stock of your gun isn’t long enough to reach your shoulder, get a bigger butt – or try a longer stock.

    * Don’t hold your gun close to your nose. It might cut blow off your nose despite your face.

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  4. best tip of all –

    if you just CONSENT to whatever the attacker wants from you, then you will have prevented the crime from ever happening! Remember every time you shoot a criminal, you’re probably eliminating a Democrat vote…although dead voters DO almost unanimously vote Democrate as well, but why take the chance? By consenting to whatever the attacker wants, you’re not only preventing a crime, but preserving a vote.

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  5. When being attacked by a rapist, calmly inform the rapist that he is in a “safe zone.” At that point, the rapist should apologize for the misunderstanding and run off. If, however, the rapist continues with his attack, calmly ask him to press the button on the nearest “police call box” for you, so that you can report the rape in order that the police send someone out to make a report of your rape. If neither of these approaches seem to help, hit him with your whistle or loudly ask if anyone nearby has a pair of scissors you can borrow.

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  6. * You can’t tell if a gun is loaded by looking down the barrel unless you have a flashlight.

    Actually, I do that all the time with my flintlock when cleaning it. You have to do that to see if you’ve got all the fouling off of the breech face.

    Of course, the real way to know if a muzzleloader is loaded is to add the number of times you’ve loaded it and the number of times you’ve fired it, then divide the sum by 2. If the result isn’t even, the gun is loaded.

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  7. A shotgun may be great for defending your home against 1 or 2 criminals, but if you are defending your home against looting which always breaks out after a natural disaster or rioting which always breaks out over an internet movie – and find yourself defending your house (or business) against,…oh, say….15 criminals-you need something that will more evenly match the number of criminals involved. When defending yourself and your home against Congress, you would need a weapon capable of shooting about….oh, say… 535 rounds quickly!

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  8. * If you’ve ever had your finger pinched in a trigger, you’re either squeezing too much, or not enough.

    * There is no reason to deny female spastics their right of gun ownership, as long as it’s shotguns, and if they might be raped.

    * Firing a long gun with one arm is not recommended, unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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