Straight Line of the Day: The UN Is Now Using Drones for Surveillance. You Can Tell It’s a UN Drone…

Posted on December 6, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The UN is now using drones for surveillance. You can tell it’s a UN drone…

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40 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The UN Is Now Using Drones for Surveillance. You Can Tell It’s a UN Drone…”

  1. Steve H says:

    You can tell it’s a UN drone…

    … because it straddles every fence it finds
    … the distinctive blue “shoot at me” helmet
    … it accepts bribes (cash or credit cards)
    … the UNICEF bag (do they even DO those anymore?)
    … it doesn’t work
    … if you shoot at it you’ll eventually receive a strongly-worded letter asking you to try harder at not shooting at it anymore

  2. Rayfan87 says:

    It automatically surrenders and calls America for help at the first sign of danger.

  3. Steve H says:

    … it hates Israel.
    … it plays “We Are The World” over loudspeakers.
    … the pictures of Che on the wings
    … it avoids committment to an actual Flight Plan.
    … it packs a whopping i386 microsprocessor and 256kb of RAM (and Microsoft Bob as its OS)

  4. walruskkkch says:

    The UN is now using drones for surveillance. You can tell it’s a UN drone…

    It never demands Anonymiss Cookies.

  5. walruskkkch says:

    The UN is now using drones for surveillance. You can tell it’s a UN drone…

    everything it tries to do gets vetoed by Russia.

  6. Steve H says:

    … it claims to be able to reach any destination (can’t say the word “target”) but only has enough power to lift off and promptly crash-and-burn.
    … doesn’t fly during Ramadan

  7. walruskkkch says:

    The UN is now using drones for surveillance. You can tell it’s a UN drone…

    it really doesn’t do anything but drone, on and on and on and on….

  8. MYthilt says:

    — It immediately flies towards the closest underage girl and tries to convince her to become a prostitute.
    — It then heads towards the nicest part of the area, being sure to avoid seeing anything that might make it actually, you know, have to do something useful.

  9. Steve H says:

    … circles Anonymiss’ house sniffing for cookies. (take a number, bub)

  10. MYthilt says:

    — Runs up $200000 in parking tickets, and refuses to pay them.
    — Generates a $20 million bill, and expects the US to pay it.

  11. Steve H says:

    … non-UN drones don’t let it play in any drone-deer games.

  12. FormerHostage says:

    …because it never gets off the ground.

  13. FormerHostage says:

    …cuz it only watches the JOOOOOOOOS!

  14. Bob B says:

    …because it announces that it is coming, repeatedly and with a sense of self-importance, but has no goal or purpose beyond self-aggrandizement.

  15. Oppo says:

    … because it only has one or two boosters.

    … because of the constant whining sound it makes.

  16. walruskkkch says:

    The UN is now using drones for surveillance. You can tell it’s a UN drone…

    it really notices anything except things wrong with the US and Israel.

  17. Thurifer says:

    Is always on the lookout for underage prostitutes…

  18. Zaklog the Great says:

    it offers not to spy on you for a modest bribe.

  19. DontPlayRockyTop says:

    because the pilot is wearing a little blue helmet.

    (but it’s still clearly marked as a drone, mind you).

  20. Professor Hale says:

    Because it waits for the American drones to get there first and do all the work while it stays in a first class hotel ordering room service, hookers and pay-per-view porn, and then it writes a report taking credit.

  21. James says:

    . . . because of the high pitched whine.
    . . . because the program is supervised by terrorist states and is funded by the US.

  22. DamnCat says:

    …by the “I ♥ Putin” stickers.

  23. Gumbeaux says:

    . . . by the large beret it cleverly disguises itself with.

  24. Bob B says:

    …,but you can’t tell it much!

  25. Chip says:

    You can tell it is a UN Drone when it makes that little harumph noise of disapproval when you don’t order fair-trade coffee from an approved local coffee house.

  26. Dohtimes says:

    …it flies at at mach speed when it’s approaching surrender.

    …it only has one wing, a left one.

    …it’s the only thing that flies faster when it flies backwards.

    …when a Palestinian shakes his fist at it, it releases it’s payload of American dollars.

    …it spots a white person committing an atrocity, then takes off to record the evidence.

  27. Doug says:

    … because it’s been neutered.

  28. Fly says:

    … because it is a white Volkswagen Bug with the words UN painted on the side which cost the US half a .gov website.

    [I say we start measuring government expenditures in units of the healthcare.gov website]

  29. rodney dill says:

    …the drone pilots/drivers like walnut laced cookies.

  30. rodney dill says:

    …its handicap is bigger than Obama’s Golf handicap

  31. Oppo says:

    … because its architects were mainly concerned with its optics.

  32. rodney dill says:

    It’s only maneuver is an Immelmann turn for the worse.

  33. c64wood says:

    You could tell it is a UN drone from the big sign on it that reads “Irrelevant”

  34. Dohtimes says:

    …because the rubber band gets wound tighter when flying over red state America.

    …they overpaid China for them and threw in a big bonus for stealing the technology from us.

    …fail safe program explodes missiles if they don’t stray off course and accidentally hit Israel.

    …because al qaeda likes to borrow the unarmed model with the handy drone vest.

    …who else would put a monkey on a pogo stick and call it a drone?

    …it never has a destination but somehow gets there on a wing and a prayer rug.

  35. Anonymiss says:

    @33 “Irrelevant but expensive”. :)

  36. Writer says:

    It only targets movements during Ramadan.

  37. Karen says:

    … It obeys no fly zones set up by enemy government.

    … It’s too bloated to fly.

  38. tedwade73 says:

    …because they are the ones pimping out underage pigeons.
    …because they fly unerringly to the greatest concentrations of caviar on toast points.
    …because all course corrections need unanimous approval of an eleven member committee.

  39. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …it’s basically a guy wearing a propeller beanie with a pair of binoculars.

    …it’s the drone with the 7 Up logo. Because 7 Up is the official soft drink of the United Nations. 7 Up: UN Cola.

  40. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “The UN Is Now Using Drones for Surveillance. You Can Tell It’s a UN Drone…” […]

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