Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s New Ambassador to Norway Made Several Erroneous Statements About the Country, Including…

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Obama’s new ambassador to Norway made several erroneous statements about the country, including…

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  1. … It was featured in the movie “Norway Out” starring Kevin Costner, Gene Hackman, and Sean Young. He also believes Pee Wee Herman may have had a cameo in the movie as Norway’s president.

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  2. … that we are aware that 50% of the population of Minnesota and Wisconsin are on ready to mobilize and take over when Norway starts its campaign of conquest, and we’re ready for ’em!

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  3. . . . that all the females there are named Nora or Norma and all the males are named Norm

    . . . that he couldn’t wait to visit his Uncle Oslo

    . . . that his car is a Fjord Focus

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  4. …that the Norsemen notoriously pillaged vowels from across the continent, thus you have places such as Gdansk. (They use umlauts to identify the pilfered letters)

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  5. … he was looking forward to visit with the group ABBA.

    … That Norway is no longer punching above their weight.

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  6. A Møøse once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…

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  7. Obama’s new ambassador to Norway made several erroneous statements about the country, including…

    “I’m pleased to be here.”

    Obama assured me you have the best Dog in the world.

    This is where Fjords are built.

    You’re worth my 10 million dollar campaign contribution in 2012.

    “I look forward to visiting your lush tropical beaches.”

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  8. Obama’s new ambassador to Norway made several erroneous statements about the country, including…

    I have found you Kunta Kinte!

    I’m glad to be in the land of Anonymiss cookies!

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  9. @25
    We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

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  10. …his colleague in Benghazi isn’t dead, he’s pining for the fjords.

    …Norway is where Mt. Doom is located.

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  11. …how he was glad to visit the native land of U.S. president Gerri Fjord, learn how to speak Austrian so he could translate things for Obama, and visit Amsterdam’s smokeshops and redlight district just for fun.

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  12. … that he thought that they were a Muslim nation… or soon would be. That the State Department was profiling the blue eyed, blond haired population as being likely terrorist threats!

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  13. Obama’s new ambassador to Norway made several erroneous statements about the country, including…

    …a European swallow can carry a coconut.

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  14. …that darned Norway virus was not in his top 10 favorite things about his first visit, plus the weight loss was from his new trotting regimen.

    …they of all people know his always being over his skis is a good thing.

    …their national anthem is about liberal economics because it starts out We don’t measure we don’t count, nor weigh, nor weigh.

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  15. …claimed that Norway rats were the largest on the planet. But when told the largest are in Madagascar, said, “Where’s Madagascar? And what are Norway rats doing there?”

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  16. … That dog sledding was the national sport. (To be fair, it was Obama who asked him to pick up some fast food while he was there).

    … He thought ‘Nor- eh?” Was a province in Canada.

    … That they had an awful lot of landmarks named after former president Gerald Fjord….

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  17. ….expressing eagerness to see where The Sound of Music was filmed.

    ….asking where he could get some Lederhosen for his friends and family.

    …saying he wanted to visit the birthplace of that Norwayjian historical figure, Lutefisk Von Beethoven.

    ….remembering how the Beatles got their start playing at Norway’s notorious Reeperbahn.

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  18. Obama’s new ambassador to Norway made several erroneous statements about the country, including…

    some hilarious boners but to be fair, he did place it on the right planet. Didn’t he?

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  19. For the record, Norway rats aren’t actually from Norway.

    So Boomtown Rats aren’t from Boomtown?

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